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MENDED: A Book Review and GIVEAWAY!

Mended: A Book Review and Giveaway!

One of the most important relationships you can have is with your mother.

 

Mother’s Day can be a mixed bag of emotions for many.  Many celebrate Mother’s Day without their mother, or who have a strained relationship with their mom, and some can’t talk to their mothers at all because they’ve passed away.  Whatever the circumstance, Mother’s Day can bring joy and/or pain.

Today I have the opportunity to share with you the new book Mended:  Restoring the hearts of Mothers and Daughters by Blythe Daniels and Helen McIntosh.

A moment of honesty–I was a little afraid to read this book, in fear it would conjure up unwanted emotions and pains of the past.  

As a child I grew up in a divorced home and had the blessing of having two mothers.  My step-mom from the start treated my twin sister and I as her very own.  Of course there are ups and downs in any relationship but the love we had for each other grew over the years into something greater–a mother/daughter relationship.

My relationship with my (biological) mother was different.  I didn’t understand much about mental illness as a child and didn’t understand why my mother acted certain ways.  As I grew into adulthood I had to learn how to separate the person from the mental illness.  When I was hurt by something she did I had to learn how to forgive and love her for for how God made her.

As the years past, I learned how to stay away from silly arguments that only led to quarrels.  I had to learn how to make healthy boundaries.  I learned how to NOT find happiness in met expectations, but in the reality of God’s plans.  We don’t get to choose who our parents are, nor do they get to choose who their children are.  I admit, there were times in my childhood into adulthood my relationship with my mother was strained at best.

Once I learned to embrace her mental illness was a gift from God in how he made her, I was able to be set free in having the loving relationship with her God intended for me.  She wasn’t responsible or in control of my emotions or feelings in how I responded, I was.  I didn’t have to constantly be afraid of being hurt over and over because I focused on God’s kingdom purpose for her–to be loved for who she was not in what she did.  

Mended will help any mother/daughter relationship gain the clarity it needs to take steps towards healing.  Blythe and Helen do a wonderful job in asking the right questions and equipping readers to gain a new perspective.  It’s not about the argument.  It’s not about being right.  And it’s certainly not about meeting YOUR EXPECTATIONS.  

When reality doesn't meet your expectations

Disappointment in our relationships happens when we have high expectations and the reality is no where near them.  Everything in between just becomes disappointment.

No relationship is beyond repair. Our relationships with our mothers are more valuable and important than our own agendas.Click To Tweet

I had to ask myself was my disappointment always going to be the focus and highest priority?  When God’s agenda becomes our agenda we are able to embrace his ways and plans in how to love one another in the most loving way possible and let go of our disappointments.

Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7Click To Tweet

Have you put an expectation on someone they can’t meet?

Maybe instead of expecting them to change, sit with God and ask How can I love this person today in the most loving way possible?  The pursuit of relationships sometimes don’t always turn out the way we want them nor should they cost us our sanity.

Giving God your struggles, trusting Him in guiding your relationships is the best way to start in mending each others hearts.  God will tell you when it’s time to set boundaries.  He will tell you when to speak and not speak.  And He’ll most definitely show you how to love.

God is never going to ask you to fill roles you were never intended to fill.  Your role is not to be the Savior.  It’s not to change the other person.  And it’s definitely not to enable.  Our roles in strained relationships are to let go of what we can’t control by surrendering it to God and trusting in what God is able to do with it.

God didn’t say the pursuit of healing and restoration would be without heartache.  But He does promise to hold our hands to get us through.

Are you willing to pursue mended relationships?

Learning how to love my mother in the way God made her was one of the hardest things I had to do, but the reward of the mended relationship was so worth anything I had to go through to get to the other side.  

God is with you my friend, he might ask us to step out of the boat like Peter to take his hand in the storm.  He might ask us to jump into the fiery furnace like Shadrack, Meschach and Abendago.  He might even ask us to spend the night with a bunch of hungry lions at the bottom of a dark pit.

Giving up on relationships is the easy way out and we miss out on God’s miracles.  When we stand firm in God’s promises, trusting to hold our hands to get us through we will never miss out on his miracles of what He is able to do.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers!  May your day be filled with God’s abundant blessings!

   Blythe Daniel & Helen McIntosh 

Blythe Daniel is a literary agent and marketer with 20 plus years of experience in publishing. She is a speaker at writer’s conferences and is interviewed for podcasts and webinars. She has written for Christian Retailing and Focus on the Family publications, and she links hundreds of bloggers with millions of readers through BlogAbout. Her passion is helping authors share their unique stories. The daughter of Dr. Helen McIntosh, she lives in Colorado with her husband and three children. www.theblythedanielagency.com

Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author of Messages to Myself and Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug®. Her work has appeared in Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children and five grandchildren. Learn more at our mended hearts. 

Mended is available now for purchase in all retail book stores.  Get your copy today just in time for Mother’s Day!  Click here to buy your copy today or enter a chance to win a free copy below.

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I would love to hear from you!  Leave Your Comments Below.  I pray we all pursue mended relationships that can only be healed and restored in Jesus.  ​In Him,

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What Is One Answer You Want To Know?

What Is The One Answer You Want To Know?

There are so many questions, yet so little answers.  Have you been waiting on an answer from God about a question that burns deep within?  Seven years ago when our son died, I had a question, “Why?” Oh how I was on a search and mission to discover the answer to the why.  Do you know what happened in my search?  I got further and further away from the answer.  I sank deeper and deeper into the despair of my grief.  My life became utter chaos, everything was out of order nothing was in my control.

In these moments I take matters into my own hand, God so gently whispers into my ear, ‘dear child, if I told you the answer to the why you still wouldn’t understand.  The only answer you need to know is I LOVE YOU.’

There are so many times in the Bible questions were asked and do you know how God responds?  With a another question.  I’ve wondered why does God answer with another question, then it dawned on me.  He answers with a question to reveal the answer within us he already knows.  How well would we understand if he told us the answer?  We understand so much better when we come to the answer ourselves.

I love how God meets us right where we are.

He Sees Us In Our Despair

In Genesis 7-13, God sent an angel to Hagar after she was sent away by Sarai and asks her- “Where have you come from and where are you going?” God already knew the answer yet asked anyway, to give her a very important message.  God sees us in our despair.  In God, He reveals himself as El-Roi, the God who sees us.

He Sees Us When We Hide

In Genesis 3:9-13, God asks Adam and Eve, “Where are you?” after they ate the forbidden fruit.  He then asked, “What is this you have done?”  God already knew the answer yet asks the questions anyway, to let them know, hey I’m God, I know and see everything, there is nowhere you can hide where I can’t see you (Jeremiah 23:16-24).

He Meets Us in Our Unbelief

In Mark 9:14-29, Jesus approaches a situation of a crowd arguing and asks a few questions, “What are you arguing about?” “How long have I been with you?” A father desperately wants healing for his son who is possessed by a demon.   Right before Jesus arrived, the disciples were there trying to cast out the demon but were unsuccessful.  Jesus asks the father, “How long has this been happening to him?” The father responds, “But if you can do anything….”  Wow IF you can?  Jesus knew all the answers to every single question yet the crowd and disciples didn’t even know what they are arguing about until Jesus draws out the answer.

'All things are possible for one who believes.' Mark 9:23Click To Tweet

Don’t you wish God had a telephone number you could call him up at anytime, ask him any question and he provided an immediate answer?

In all of these situations, God knows the answer.  He knows what’s in our hearts.  He sees what we’re going through and what we’re struggling with.  He pursues us.  Meets us where we are and yet we still pursue the answer to what we want to know.

There is no harm in pursuing answers to our questions, but when the pursuit of the answer consumes us and brings more despair, maybe it's time we give our pursuit to God.Click To Tweet

We let him lead us so we can hear what He has to say.  We allow Him to ask us the questions so we can discover the deeper answer within us.

God is close to the broken-hearted.  Our brokenness draws us closer and nearer to him to hear him.  We may not always like God’s plans or what He has to say, but know the only answer we need to know is He LOVES US.  He knows what’s best for us.  We may not like it or want it, but know God is good all the time and desires the best for us.  There may be times when we suffer but know God knows the way through our suffering.  Jesus suffered too.  If anyone knows anything about suffering, it’s God.

Only God can turn our suffering into a door of hope.  Into His glory.  Into His greatest blessings.

What is the one answer you want to know?

Where has the search for the Answer led you?

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You Have Arrived

Congratulations!  You have officially arrived in 2019!  The New Year always makes me reflect.  No one had to do anything to arrive into the New Year it just came.  No one had to work for it or even ask directions how to get there.  We just woke up and it was here.

Getting directions in this day and age has come a long way.  When I was a kid, there weren’t navigation systems in cars, GPS on phones or even SIRI to tell you how to get where you needed to go.  There wasn’t even the internet to google directions.  We had to rely on the verbal directions of the person giving them either from a friend or a gas station attendant.  We had physical maps we looked at and mapped out our routes.  We had to write directions down with a pen and paper and trust in our own navigation skills and that directions were correct.

Nowadays we don’t have to rely on such antiquated methods of obtaining directions.  We have Google maps and SIRI to take us there.  But sometimes Google maps and SIRI don’t always know exactly how to get where you need to go.  When I type in the address for directions sure they can tell me the fastest route, if there is traffic and other routes to go to avoid it.  If I miss a turn GPS can redirect my route.  They can also tell me how much longer it will take to get there and when I arrive.

Have you ever plugged in the address of your desired location and GPS says you have arrived, yet you are still lost?

You don’t see the location.  You can’t quite figure out where the entrance is.  You’re yelling at your phone, I haven’t arrived!  I’m still not here!  Please get me there!  Can anyone relate?

These scenarios make me realize I put way too much trust in my phone getting me to where I need to go without checking if the directions are correct myself.  The other day my GPS took me to the right location, but guess what.  There was no way to access into the entrance because I was behind the building with no way to get in.

These times show me when I place the trust in myself or technology that might not always be right, I will always be lost.  I will always be seeking how to get in.  I will always be turning around circling and searching.

This may sound cliché, but when we follow Jesus, He knows the way and will always get us to where we need to go.

'Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' John 14:6Click To Tweet

We can trust when we plug in the address to where we want to go, we can trust Jesus knows the directions of how to get there!  He can tell us the best route, how long it will take us to get there and if there are any obstacles in the way.  And He will most definitely tell us when we have arrived.

Sometimes the directions He gives might take us on detours, may be a little bumpy, but know He knows best to get us to where we need to go safely.

Another cliché Bible verse that shouldn’t be overlooked is Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”

Trusting in God by allowing Him to lead the way, submitting to the way He desires to take you, makes the road a little bit straighter and more direct.  Sometimes we are the ones causing the obstacle and question God why am I not arriving to where I need to go?  Then God gently redirects us around the obstacles before us, rerouting us down an even better road even in our stubbornness and disobedience.

God blesses the broken roads.

Even when we mess up. God loves us, pursues us and gently redirects us and says, 'This way child. Follow Me, I know the Way.' Click To Tweet

We all have the same opportunity of starting over and being intentional in this new year.

I don’t know what your goals are this year, but a good goal to set is, follow God’s directions.  Let Him be the Navigator.  It’s not about our performance, how fast we get somewhere, it’s about our surrender.  God doesn’t care how perfect we are He cares about the condition of our hearts.

Maybe you haven’t arrived to where you want to be in life.  Or God hasn’t given you the directions yet.  Maybe we’re not plugging in the right address.  Maybe we are still trying to do it our own way.  Are you tired of driving around in circles, feeling like you will never arrive?  Maybe we should ask ourselves these hard questions and trust in the One who knows the way.  I promise when we do we will arrive at the exact time God desires.

What address are you plugging in?

Will you allow God to lead you down the best road ever?

Did you enjoy this blog post? Please share with others! Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive a FREE E-book, “The Jericho Prayer” and a weekly Monday Message.  Like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

I would love to hear from you! Leave your comments below!  Happy New Year!


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When Fear Surrounds Us

It’s almost a new year!  Many of us are excited to start a fresh new year.  Whatever the expectation the new year brings for you, it may bring many fears that can be overwhelming.

I recently had the opportunity to embark on a cruise with 29 of my family members and 5,000 other people cruising around the Caribbean sea.  This was my first Caribbean cruise.  I don’t know if cruising is your thing, but it made me uncomfortable knowing I was in the middle of the ocean with that many people. When I did the calculations, there are not enough boats for everyone if for some reason the ship sank.  Let’s just say it was unsettling for me.

Don’t know if you are one of those ‘What if’ people, I am typically not, however, I am married to one.  I usually don’t think about all the scenarios of ‘what if,’ but when you are surrounded by lots of people and water it makes your mind start going in that direction especially when you watch those movies where the ship sinks or people get eaten by sharks.

Ok, I promise I’ll stop.

But seriously have you ever been in that kind of life or death situation?  Like the scene in the Poseidon movie when Josh Lucas, Richard Dreyfus, and the young gal are debating whether they should stay in the room with the flooding water or go towards the vents which they didn’t know where they led fearing they might get stuck?  Everywhere they looked their options went from bad to worse.  If they stayed they would have drowned if they went forward they still may die, but it was their only option for a possible way out.

Maybe we haven’t been in a scenario as drastic as the Poseidon movie where our lives depended on it.  But we all have been in situations when we open our eyes and all we see is the fear that surrounds us.  It doesn’t matter which way we look it’s there and we can’t escape it.  I don’t know about you, but when I live in the ‘what if’ and look for the ‘bad’ things to happen, fear gets the best of me.  When my focus is on the fear, fear is all I see.

We may not like our situations. We may not choose them. But know it could always be worse. Click To Tweet

Maybe you are in a situation like the scene on the ship, if you stay you’ll drown but if you go forward, there is fear of the unknown of not knowing how it will all turn out.

When we let go of our fears and release them to God, we allow Him to take care of them instead of trying to control the situation ourselves.  He is our way out.  Our fears will always squash our hopes, our joy, and growth because we are trusting in what we see and not in what God is able to do.

The verse in Isaiah, I’m reminded of what God was able to accomplish through the Israelites when they trusted in Him.  They saw the enemy armies attacking, coming at them full force and God said, “The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still” (Exodus 14:14).  He then provided a way out for them when he parted The Red Sea when they trusted in Him.

I’m reminded what God did for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace when they stood up against Nebuchadnezzar.  They refused to take orders from the king and only would obey their one true king–God.  When they stood their ground, God protected them when they were thrown into the blazing furnace.  Not a hair on their body was singed nor did they smell like smoke.  God protected them in their obedience.

When we put our trust in God in what He is able to do and keep our eyes on Him we’ll be protected even when our fear surrounds us.

'I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken (Psalm 16:8).Click To Tweet

When Jesus lives in our hearts, we are not exempt from having fear or bad things from happening to us.  We are able to be protected from our troubling circumstances when we stand in His presence, focus on God’s power, trust in Him and obey.

Are you surrounded by fear?

Do you trust God with your fears?

Are you hoping to get rid of fear in the New Year?

This New Year, take a deep breath, close your eyes and focus on the One who is able to do the impossible.  Trust in Him.  Allow Him to lead you, He knows the way out.  You are loved, my friend!

Did you enjoy this blog post? Please share with others! Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive the FREE E-Book “The Jericho Prayer,” and a weekly Monday Message.  Like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

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Failures Don’t Define Us

Have you ever failed something?  Not just a little failure, but a big failure that defined the course of your life?  I’ve shared in other posts the failure that changed my perspective was when I failed my nursing boards.  But what if you have a constant failure in your life one you have to deal with every day?

I’ve shared before about our daughter Brooklyn who has dyslexia which there is no cure.  She will have dyslexia for the rest of her life.  Every day she’s reminded of her inability to interpret text when she’s asked to read something.  Her deficits and inadequacies are amplified every time she’s asked to spell a word.  I can’t imagine what she goes through on a daily basis fighting the battle within thinking she’s not smart and not capable to do what others can do.

As a mother, I have a choice in how to treat my daughter and my daughter has a choice in how she will respond.  Will, I treat her that she has a disability and allow her to use it as a crutch to make excuses for why she can’t?  Or will I show her I believe in her and give her the skills she needs so she can run?

Many of us believe the lie, our failures define us and hold us back from our future.  

Praise God we serve a God who is bigger and is able.  

We are more than our past failures.  We are more than our weakest link.  God uses our weakest traits as a catalyst to propel us towards his greatest plans.  Our weaknesses are not an excuse to go through life walking with a limp, but an opportunity to learn how to overcome and grow stronger for what God has in store for us.

Our failures don’t define us, God’s truth does.

I am always so amazed how God uses the unlikely to carry out His almighty plan.  He doesn’t use the strongest, the wisest or even the most powerful to carry out His plans.  Instead, he used a little shepherd boy named David, a young teenager named Jeremiah and a man with a stuttering problem named Moses.

When you are chosen, you can’t run or hide from God’s choice.  God sees so much more in us than we will ever see in ourselves.  When God chose Moses to go before Pharaoh, Moses wasn’t so sure.

Exodus 4:10 “And Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord.  I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant.  I am slow of speech and tongue.”

I love God’s response to Moses.

Exodus 4:11-13 “The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute?  Who gives them sight or makes them blind?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

God didn’t say to Moses, ‘you know you’re right, my plan is never going to work because you don’t have the skills to be a great leader.’  Instead, God reminds Moses, who made you and gave you the ability to hear and see?

We may feel deficient.  Not adequate.  Not prepared.  But God will never ask us to go somewhere without equipping us with the skills we need to accomplish what he is asking of us.  The tasks God asks may be hard and difficult.  They may even seem impossible, but God is bigger.

Jesus reminds us inLuke 18:27, 'What is impossible with man is possible with God.'Click To Tweet

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 3:20, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen. “

When Moses went before Pharaoh, he had already provided a way and means to communicate to Pharaoh, his brother Aaron.  He provided the words and the details of what to do.  Moses was merely God’s vessel and needed his obedience.  Moses had no idea how everything was going to turn out, but God did.

I can’t always be there advocating for my daughter in what she needs to succeed, but with tutors, teachers and a strong support system, we are going to give her the skills so she can fly.  I never want her dyslexia to be a stumbling block and reason why she can’t but the reason why she overcomes and succeeds.

 

Just because my daughter has dyslexia doesn’t mean she’s deficient.

Just because Moses had a stuttering problem didn’t mean he was incapable.

2 Corinthians 3:4-5, 'Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves, but our competence comes from God.' Click To Tweet

Where we fall short, God makes up for our deficiencies and accomplishes His greatest plans through us.

We have two choices.  Allow the limitations of our deficits to confine us and stay in cycles of brokenness or allow God to use our deficits to refine us and move forward in His plans for us.

Do you believe God is bigger?

How will you allow your deficits to impact you? To confine or refine?

Has God helped you do the impossible?

Did you enjoy this blog post? Please share with others! Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

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