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The Difference Between React and Respond

 

The other day I was scrolling through my Instagram feed after a very divided nation was arguing each of their sides to the issue of a recent Supreme Court ruling.  I was taken back by the comments and reactions of each side.  This isn’t the first time our nation has been divided on how to handle the care of human life nor will it be the last.  The question we can ask ourselves in these times of heated debate is, how will the outcome be most beneficial, in our reactions or our response?

The Difference Between React and Respond

Life if 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.' Quote Charles R. Swindoll Click To Tweet

In our reactions we will always stay in the argument, the debate will never end because reactions are fueled with our emotions.  The enemy would like nothing more than for us to stay in our reactions, because in our reactions is how the enemy distracts us and keeps us in the argument and chaos.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of react is:  “to exert a reciprocal or counteracting force or influence often used with on or upon.  2: to change in response to a stimulus.  3: to act in opposition to a force or influence usually used with against  4: to move or tend in a reverse direction.”  

To react is to respond without thinking, is impulsive, immediate, and chases our emotions.  Our reactions are usually driven by our fears, attached to unmet expectations, and are short-sighted not able to rationally see the entire perspective of our situation.  As you can see in the definition, to react is usually a negative response in opposition of something.

Definition of respond:to say something in return : make an answer respond to criticism 2a: to react in response to a call for help b: to show favorable reaction, respond to surgery. 3: to be answerable” 
In the Bible, when Jesus was presented with a situation, he responded not reacted.  One of the greatest examples of this, is the woman’s life he spared from stoning in John 8.  When the Pharisees brought an adulterous woman to Jesus, they wanted Him to react to her sin and make an example of her to others.  But Jesus doesn’t react, He responds to what the woman needs, His grace.  According to the Jewish Law of Consequence this woman deserved to be stoned publicly to shame her for what she had done.  But Jesus shows a new way, one that forgives and restores, that doesn’t codon or condemn.
Jesus then stood up and said, “‘Where are they?’  ‘Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.”  And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you;  and from now on, ‘sin no more.'” (John 8:10-11).
Jesus didn’t react to the woman’s sin, he responded to her deepest need.  The Pharisees wanted Jesus to react to what this woman deserved.  But this is where the enemy will entrap us to react, to cast stones at someone’s behavior, to keep us in a cycle to constantly throw stones at one another.  Jesus breaks the cycle and doesn’t respond to the crazy, but sets a new path to enter into his healing grace.
The response is intentional, delayed, comes from a place of love and respect, rational, comes from self-control, and thinks about the long-term picture.  From the definition, to respond is to show a favorable reaction.  There will always be something we don’t agree with.  An argument.  A debate.  We have to ask ourselves what is the outcome we desire?  My desire is that everyone I know, knows the love of Jesus and one day I will see them in heaven.  Life is too short and precious to spend it arguing especially with loved ones.  Is my opinion and battle to be right the desire I want?  Not Really. We all want to be seen and heard.  We get lost in the fight to be right and miss out on God’s victory, a battle he’s already fought and won.
If there is one thing I hear Jesus telling me, is my role is to be the vessel, the messenger.  My job is to bring the loaves of bread and fish, Jesus will feed the 5,000.  My role is to show people the love of Jesus, not to cast stones.  My purpose is to step out of the boat, not to sit there and wait until the storm is over to respond to what is happening in the world.  I may get wet or even sink but Jesus will be there to hold my hand.  I don’t have to like or agree with what everyone is doing, but I am called to love others no matter who they are or what they have done.  We are all sinners and don’t deserve what Jesus has done for us, his gift is for everyone, we don’t have to earn it.  The love of Jesus is for everyone.
Next time you see a post you don’t like or agree with, Ask God:

How should I respond?

What is the outcome you desire?

Will people see Jesus in my reaction or my response?

We may not have control over our situations, but we can control how we react or respond to our situations.  Jesus came so we could have life and have it to the full.  We miss out on His abundance when we allow our reactions to have the best of us.  If we don’t control our reactions, our reactions will control us.  How can you respond today to a situation you don’t like?  We are able to have peace and serenity restored when our response is driven by God’s love.

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You Were Made For Greatness: 10 Lessons We Learn From David

You were made for greatness. All of us were. This is the first time I’ve written on my blog in six months, it was good to take a much-needed break to be able to rest and focus on a writing project I’m working on. I’ve had the opportunity to review this amazing book”. I AM David, 10 Lessons in Greatness. What a great and timely message to share. I LOVED this book and EVERYTHING I learned. This book is one of my favorite ways to study the Bible, study the person, and what they go through, study their flaws, strengths, make them human and relatable.

Dr. Jimmy Evans is a Pastor of Gateway Church in Texas and founder CEO of MarriageToday. He is author of many other books and hosts of the TV show The Overcoming Life. In his books and television show, it’s apparent his mission is to help others step into the greatness God created them for—to be overcomers in Christ.

Life has so many defeating circumstances it’s hard not to be overwhelmed by them. I AM David gives 10 valid, relatable lessons through the faith, strengths, weakness, failures, and successes of David. His life and heart have paved a pathway for greatness we can follow. Here are my favorite lessons from the book.

10 Lessons of Greatness we learn from David:

1. “You won’t discover your true greatness until you find it on the battlefield.”— When you read about David in the Bible, he was one of great valor, what great leaders were made of, he even was good looking. I love his perspective of what makes us great isn’t in our accomplishments, it’s staying on the battlefield. We all know the scened when David goes to the rooftop, sees Bathsheba, has an affair, covers it up by having her husband killed. I didn’t realize in the context I’ve read many times before, David was supposed to be out of the battlefield not on the rooftop getting into trouble! “The rooftop is a place of darkness, where people try to escape from God’s will for their lives” (quote Jimmy Evans). He says the rooftop will always rob us of being great. The devil knows our weakness and will take every opportunity to put us in the right place for us to fail. You can’t hide from sin. Sometimes we retreat to those rooftops out of fear of what we will face on the battlefield. We will always have fears but can trust in God’s courage to get us through, it is enough. We have to face our fears, commit to courage, and do what’s right despite our fears.

“The secret of peace is not resting on the rooftop. It is winning on the battlefield” #Quote #IAMDavid #JimmyEvansClick To Tweet

2. “Taking responsibility is what makes the difference between failure and success.” Amen to that! If there is one quality about David I admire was his ability to own his own stuff, be willing to admit, ‘I messed up, please forgive me.’ He didn’t use blame, avoid, run, or hide from his sin, he repented and became one of the greatest leaders of the Bible because he took responsibility for his own actions.

3. “Rise above the pain of the past.”— Have you ever met someone who always played the victim card and wasn’t able to move beyond their past? I’m here to tell you, the past does not need you anymore, the future does. I didn’t realize from David’s upbringing his possible strained relationship with his dad and rejection by his brother Eliab could have played a part in David’s choices. It’s so important to acknowledge the wounds of our hearts and deal with them, not to substitute other things to mend them like alcohol, drugs, food, or work. There comes a time where we have to make the decision and ask am I willing to be well? Or do I want to keep lingering in the past? Facing the pain of our past can be one of the most freeing things we can do to severe the chains of bondage.

4. David the worshipper- One can’t read the Bible without going through the book of Psalms or memorizing a few lines from it. Psalms is filled with David’s heartache and praises. His ability to praise and worship God is one of the most astounding accounts in the Bible. I admit I can fail in this department and question when I don’t feel God near, oh it’s because of my poor worship! I love how David is able to be real with his feeling and emotions and create this intimate relationship with God. It’s a place to get rid of your bitterness, anger, and pride, lay it at God’s feet and allow Him to have it. Worship invites God’s presence to be powerful in our lives. Worship is worth no matter the cost. It helps us turn away from laziness and make our focus on God and not other things distracting us in our lives. In order to be great, we have “to be willing to esteem God more than the opinion of others.”

“Worship without a price is false worship” #quote Jimmy Evans I AM DavidClick To Tweet

5. Be Positive Regardless of the Circumstances- David has a pretty impressive track record on the battlefield. He killed lions and bears when he was a shepherd boy, he led mighty men to win many battles, he thought like a winner, battles were won and giants fell. He had “faith-focused thinking that was God-directed and reward-oriented.” He believed in the living God when he fought Goliath. The stone didn’t kill him his faith and Go’s power did. He didn’t overthink what if? Or how will I be able? He just went for it. He was under the authority and covenant of God, Goliath wasn’t, therefore David was under God’s protection. When we are under God’s protection we can defeat any enemy!

“If the only tool you have is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.”

When we fight for God, we must accept the fact we will have resistance. Sometimes we need to change our tools to fight, not every problem will be a nail. Don’t let resistance keep you back from greatness.

6. Submit to God’s Authority and to those He Delegates— If there is one theme in the Bible is half-hearted obedience. One reason why king Saul was no longer king was because of his disobedience. If we can’t submit to authority then we think we know best and are in charge, not God. God is the creator of authority and will not tolerate rebellion. I meet a lot of people who say they are believers. They believe in the Jesus died for my sins part, but not always the LORD of my life part. “Salvation requires submission.” We can’t be the authority in our own lives and be. Submission is the way and path to true greatness.

“Submission to authority opens God’s heart and hand to us as we walk in His will.”

7. Admit Weakness and Become Accountable to Others— Great leaders, admit their mistakes and learn from them. Learning how to be transparent and humble will be one of your greatest attributes. Hiding behind fears, shame, and failure will never get us anywhere. One way to achieve this is to have an accountability person in your life that can speak into blind spots. One thing David did well, was listen to others in his life, having anointed wise ministers that could help him live in his greatest potential.

8. Depend on God and Give Him the Glory- We can all fall victim to the whispers of pride. We see all the time those who rise to power, fall hard once greed and pride take over their lives. Arrogance will never serve us well and God will make sure pride will never succeed. When choose to walk in surrender and submission we choose to walk in humility with God. The place of humbleness is where God protects us. Places of pride is where satan pounces and preys on his victims to make them fall. David had his moment in 1 Chronicles 21 when he took the census. He depended on his own strength and not God’s. One question that struck me hard Jimmy asks is, “How much can God give me before I use it against him?” Woah. I have been guilty many times of throwing things back in God’s face and giving Him a list of all the things I’ve done. Then I’m reminded where I need to be, on my knees praying in a place of worship, giving Him the glory.

9. Overcome discouragement- “Every great man or woman of God must overcome times of darkness and deep discouragement in order to achieve his or her destiny in God.” We all have experienced devastation in our lives. It’s so easy to give in to despair. We can learn from David what Satan uses for evil God uses for good. To be attacked by the devil is to be expected, you never know what God does behind the scenes. God always has an answer for the victory and is in control. Nothing is impossible for him.

10. Be Willing- None of David’s greatness would be possible is he wasn’t willing to be willing. “All of us are destined for greatness if we choose to surrender to God and His plan for our lives.”

You were made for greatness–God’s greatness. Satan will do everything possible to tear you away from God’s plans for His greatness in your life. Remember the lessons from David, one of the greatest leaders, warriors, and kings of the Bible.

What is your favorite lesson from David?

I recommend this book to anyone who has a desire for greatness. Who desires to learn and want to be well. I hope you consider reading I AM David and be blessed for all it has to offer. We can learn so much from David. Sometimes it’s not about getting to the outcome we desire, it’s what we learn along the way. Thank you Pastor Jimmy Evans for writing this book!

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4 Easy Ways To Simplify Your Health

This week is a guest post from Jen Roland, who is owner/blogger of Faith Fueled Fitness.  I love faith and fitness and am excited to have Jen guest post and share her insights of making health simple and easy.  Make sure to check out her recipes and fitness workouts!  Have a great week!

In Him,

Heather


4 Easy Ways To Simplify Your Health

There are two words that every new mom dreads.

Bathing suit.

While not explicitly stated, when my sister-in-law asked me to be a bridesmaid – in Florida and by the beach – those two words were exactly what I heard.  Holding my one-year old on my hip, I envisioned stuffing my post-pregnancy belly into a strapless bridesmaid dress.   The mental image was less than flattering.

I needed a way to simplify my health especially with a baby.

But, I was determined.  I vowed to lose the rest of the baby weight, get in amazing shape, and do whatever it would take to get my pre-pregnancy body back.

For the next five months, some might say I was a little “obsessed.”  I worked out for over an hour a day and followed a strict meal plan.  I cut out all refined sugars, eliminated caffeine, and passed on the pizza at parties.  When her wedding day arrived, I received lots of compliments about how “amazing” I looked.  My husband must have agreed, because I came home from that trip pregnant with baby number three.

Two weeks later, after experiencing heavy bleeding, I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma, deemed a high-risk pregnancy, and directed to halt all physical activity.  At 33 weeks, I went into labor, was hospitalized to stop the contractions, and sent home on strict bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy.

When I was given the green light to exercise three months after my son was born, I was starting from ground zero.  This time, God showed me that I needed to approach taking care of my health differently.  He taught me that if I wanted to change my habits, I would need to start by changing the way I think about them.

It began with renewing my perspective from fitness and nutrition as vehicles to achieve the perfect body to fitness and nutrition as opportunities to glorify God by caring for the body He gifted to me.

As I started to view my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, I began to treat it that way, focusing on life-giving foods that helped me operate at my best without counting every calorie that went into my mouth.

God revealed that in letting my thoughts and actions revolve around when I would work out or what I would eat, I had made my body an idol.  I needed to break free from the obsession so I could focus more on Him.  As I put Christ at the center of my health journey, it became less about perfecting myself and more about living to please Him.  This shift in mindset has had a tremendous impact.

In the words of Beth Moore, “The ultimate goal for most of us, however, is freedom from obsession so that God rather than the body can be glorified.  This goal is most often realized through recapturing the lost art of moderation.  This means learning to do what we need to do (to keep ourselves healthy) and then getting on with living.”1

When we seek our self-worth, personal fulfillment, or happiness in something other than the Lord our God, we’ve allowed that thing to take an inappropriate position of power in our lives that should be reserved for Him. 

1 Corinthians 6:12 tells us “I have the right to do anything,” you say – but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything” – but I will not be mastered by anything.”Click To Tweet

We have the “right” to eat anything we want and we have the “right” to exercise.   However, while something may be permissible, it may not be beneficial.  And while something may be beneficial, it may be unnecessary – even unhealthy – if taken to extremes.

Caring for our health shouldn’t feel like a burden – it should feel “free.”  We can choose to let go of the diet mentality and focus on life-giving choices.  We can choose to let go of obsessing over every bite of food, becoming slaves to a number on a scale, and constantly chasing perfection.  Doing so is an obsession and is actually unhealthy.


4 Easy Ways To Simplify Your Health:

  1. Have a strong WHY for improving your health that is about more than physical appearance. Consider how positive lifestyle habits will allow you to operate at your best so you can give your best to God and others.
  2. Exercise regularly, but not obsessively. Start small with a few minutes a day and build from there (download my FREE GUIDE for short, simple workouts).  Focus on progress, not perfection and consistency over performance.  As you build new habits, focus on what you will do, not what you cando.  Daily wins build momentum and fuel you to keep going!
  3. Focus on consuming nutrient-dense, life-giving foods (not pre-packaged or highly processed).  (Download Living Giving Foods List.)
  4. Adopt an abundance mindset that is focused on the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, such as more energy, decreased chance of disease, a closer relationship with God, and improved quality of life.  Shifting our focus to what we are gaining and our health as an opportunity to glorify Him sets a foundation for sustainable change.

As we begin to make small steps toward a healthier lifestyle, we must not neglect the importance of regular quiet time for our emotional and spiritual well-being.  (Check the Resource Guide in my 7-Day Jump Start Plan for some suggestions to get started.)  We can commit our plans to the Lord, asking Him for the strength to keep going when we’re lacking in motivation.  Then we place our eating, exercising, and everything we do before God as an offering, honoring Him through caring for the body He has given each of us.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31 Click To Tweet

Properly fueling our body, mind, and spirit is a means to live with purpose to pursue God’s plan for our lives.  When we keep that perspective, we can rest in the fact that our priorities are well-aligned.  We can stop obsessing over things this world says make us happy and focus on the one thing that brings true fulfillment.


Call to Action:   Download 12 Strategies to Simplify Your Health.  Choose one habit that is doable in your current season of life and which would have the greatest impact on your health.  Share it below or in our private Facebook group, along with your WHY.  Why is this habit important to you?  How will it allow you to operate at your best so you can give your best to God and others?

Additional Resources:
FREE 7-Day Jump Start Guide
Life Giving Foods List
FREE Recipes, Meal Plans & Workouts

Related Posts:
Chasing Beauty (Focusing on Where True Beauty is Found)
7 Strategies to Break the Cycle of Emotional Eating
An Ode to Junk Food Cravings (and How to Beat Them)
7 Strategies for Achieving & Maintaining Your Weight Loss Goals
More Energy, Few Cravings (5 Simple Ways to Pack More Nutrients Into Your Meals)
32 Tips to Get Motivated to Workout

To learn more about Jen and her mission of faith and fitness Click Here.

References:

1. Moore, Beth. (1998). Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. Nashville, TN: LifeWay Press.


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The One I Admire Most (Leaders Worth Following)

President’s Day has passed and I’m reflecting on a very important question that our country’s foundation is based upon, many of us may think of but may take a passive approach in answering.

What leader do you admire most?

Who is a leader you esteem worth following?

I finished reading the book “How to Lead When Not in Charge: Leveraging Influence When You Lack Authority,” by Clay Scoggins.  This book has changed my way of thinking of what it means to be the authority verses being a person of influence.  He identifies what separates a good leader from a great one.

Great leaders love people well.

Great leaders live and lead in a way that’s worth emulating.

Great leaders are lifetime learners.

Great leaders make others feel valued and appreciated.

Great leaders forgive well.

Great leaders lead by action.

Great leaders sacrifice themselves for the good of others.

Great leaders admit their failures.

What do think makes a great leader?

Clay Scoggins challenges us to write down leaders we admire and dissect why do we admire them?

Just to name a few of my favorite leaders Abraham Lincoln, Francis Chan, Corrie Ten Boom, Irena Sendler, and of course Jesus.  I admire all of these leaders for different reasons.

I admire Abraham Lincoln because he was a leader who led by action, admitted his failures and was a lifetime learner.  He defended the defenseless, stood up for social injustice by not following the way the world wanted him to but lead in the direction that was for the greater good of others.

I admire Francis Chan as a leader because he loves others well, lives and leads in a way worth emulating.  Francis Chan’s mission in life is to lead like Jesus.  He doesn’t chase fame or power but the influence of Jesus.

Corrie Ten Boom and Irena Sendler are women after my own heart.  I aspire to be like them.  Corrie and her family hid hundreds of Jews in a secret hiding place in their home to save them from going to concentration camps. Irena saved over two thousand Jewish babies from Nazi death camps.  Both women sacrificed themselves for the good of others, putting others before themselves, which in the end saved the lives of many (Gen. 50:20).

Although all these leaders are great, the one I admire most is Jesus.

Jesus is the ultimate leader.  A leader we all strive to be like.  He changed the trajectory of how leaders should lead not by the words he said, not by throwing around His titles, but by what He did.  Titles such as Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father made Him the highest authority of all.   However, Jesus didn’t use His titles of authority to transform the hearts of people, He used the influence of His mercy and grace.  His role as Humble Servant, Shepherd and Teacher won more hearts than His authority ever did.  He didn’t leverage how much He knew, he leveraged how much we can learn.

'Being a great leader isn't dependent upon having more authority. Great leadership depends upon influence. The more influence cultivated today the more you'll have tomorrow' quote Clay Scoggins.Click To Tweet

Great leaders don’t throw around their clout, beat their chests and say, “I’m in charge!”  They use their influence in a way that inspires others to say, “I want to live and lead like them!”

We don’t have to wait until we’re in a position of authority to make a difference, our time to make a difference is today.  We were all created to be a leader in one or another.  Whatever your role is as a teacher, a parent, a coach, a musician, a caretaker, an administrator or a janitor we all have our roles in God’s greater kingdom.  How we lead here on earth prepares us for our day in heaven.

In order for us to have a chance at being a loving culture, to make a difference where we are, we must emulate the best leader of all.  It starts right here, right now, with US.  I pray and hope we all can live and lead like Jesus.  Be encouraged God isn’t done with us and desires us to live in the best design of ourselves.  You are loved!

Who do you admire most and why?

What leaders do you think are worth following?

How do you leverage your influence when you’re not in charge?

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A Letter From Jesus: A note to my inner Enneagram

 

This year has been a really hard year for me in regard to discovering things about myself I never knew.  It’s been a year God has been using to grow me in ways I never knew I needed.  I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, reading and just spending time with God.  I’ve read books like “Kill the Spider,” “Soul Detox,” “Nehemiah,” and “The Road Back to You.”   Based on the titles of these books you can guess what kind of person I am, which ironically I didn’t know about myself until just recently–I’m a perfectionist.  Anyone who knows me would say, ‘there’s no way you’re a perfectionist’ based on what they see outwardly, but inwardly quite frankly, I beat myself up every day.

In Kill The Spider, I learned I need to kill the spider creating cobwebs in my life.  If I never target the very thing creating the mess, the mess will just keep reoccurring over and over.

In Soul Detox, I learned I need to get rid of the things contaminating my life, whether it be relationships, things in my environment, or what I’m goes into my ears and eyes, holding onto things that are toxic will only make for more toxicity.

In The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, I learned I am a one with a two-wing, which in enneagram language means I am a reformer at heart, I want to change the world and I have helper qualities.  For anyone who has taken a personality test and doesn’t like to be pegged to a number, this is more than labeling you into a certain category.  This book has helped me see myself the way God sees me, to not allow my flaws and inadequacies define me or make me stumble, but embrace them to be used the way God intended for them.

My flaws make me closer to God and more dependent upon Him. If I didn't have inadequacies, I wouldn't need God. Click To Tweet

I can be overly critical or judgmental of myself at times.  I constantly go over in my head how I could have done things better, how something could be improved, what I wish I would have said.  It can get tiring hearing these voices in my head over and over pointing out mistakes I’ve made, telling me whatever I did wasn’t good enough.

Sometimes I just need a break from myself and replace these nagging voices with what God says about me.   I have to be careful not to allow the inner critic in me or my constant comparison to unrealistic standards pull me down to the point I can’t hear God’s voice.  So I turn to the One who knows me best.

A Letter From Jesus:

Dear Child,  You are loved.  I want to remind you, you are good enough.  You are more than your failures, you are more than your past mistakes.  You aren’t the labels you have put on yourself.  You are definitely not the lies the enemy has told you.  You are who I say you are.  I have created you just the way you are for a reason.  Your flaws don’t define you, I do.  I will use your flaws for my greater plan.  Stay close to me.  Depend on me for all your needs.

Find refuge and peace in my presence, don’t go ahead of me.  I have the greatest plans for you.  Trust in my goodness and in what I’m able to do.  Don’t focus on your obstacles, your mistakes or flaws, stay focused on me and my purpose for you.  I will guide you if you let me.  I accept and love you for who you are.  Don’t allow your flaws to hold you back or keep you from participating in the plans I have for you. Don’t beat yourself up.  Don’t seek your value and worth in the comparison of others, find your value and worth in Me.  Be gentle and forgiving with yourself when you make mistakes.

Surround yourself with my truth in who I say you are.  I created you.  Seek your identity in me, guard yourself against the lies of the world surround yourself with my truth.  You may not be where you want to be, sweet child, this is a journey, not a race, enjoy it.  You are one of my best creations.  I find joy in you.  I will be your strength.  You are loved whether you succeed or fail.  It’s okay if things aren’t perfect.  I will use you to display my perfection. You are loved and you are good enough.  I will never leave you.  I am here for you, hold onto my promises, we will do this together.

Love, Jesus

A couple pieces of advice I give myself to help battle through the process of perfectionism are,

  1.  Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself.  I tend to be serious at times and just need to have a good ole chuckle when I do make mistakes or don’t say things perfectly.
  2. When the volume of your inner critic starts getting loud, smile and say I appreciate your help but I am learning how to accept and embrace my imperfections.  Say, “I am who God says I am, He loves me just the way I am, it’s okay if it’s not perfect.”
  3. Find a hobby you enjoy doing just because you like doing it.  I have picked up card-making (I’m not that good at it), but it’s one of those hobbies I enjoy and give myself the liberty to mess up and be okay with it, because the cards I give to people give purpose to the reformer in me, helping others when life hurts.
  4. Surround yourself with God’s word of who He says you are.  Read Scripture about who God says you are (Psalm 139:14 and 2 Timothy 1:7).  Listen to Lauren Daigle’s song, “You say,” or Hillsong’s song, “I am Who You Say I am.”  

If you know anyone who struggles with perfectionism or who they are in Christ here are other helpful articles I’ve written that have helped me in the process.

Failures Don’t Define Us

You Are Not Qualified

God is refining us.  One of the best lessons I am learning on this journey is to embrace God’s purpose for me despite my flaws and obstacles.  If you are a One on the Enneagram and can relate to this message please leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.  Authors of The Road Back to you write, “May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique, behind every facade of your life is something eternally beautiful.  May you learn to see yourself with the same delight, pride and expectation which God sees you in every moment” (Cron and Stable).

Join me in the journey of embracing who you are in Christ by taking the Free Enneagram test and reading “The Road Back to You.”  It’s not about labels but living in the healthiest version of yourself and allowing God to use all of you including your flaws.

Can you relate to this article?  Please share.  Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive a FREE mini E-book “The Jericho Prayer,” and a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

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Parts of Mark Batterson’s Whisper How to Hear the Voice of God 5-day Reading Plan from the You Version Bible reading plan were used for this post.
Cron, I. M. (2016). The road back to you: An Enneagram journey to self-discovery. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press

What’s My Focus?

 

The other day I had the most vivid dream.  I’m not much of a dreamer, but for some reason, this dream was so vivid and clear.  I could remember the details and emotions elicited by the dream like I was there experiencing it first hand.  From past posts I’ve shared, I like to run.  In this dream, I had trained and prepared for a race.

I remember being in a car driving to the race, trying to get there, but something was always getting in the way–traffic, crowds, roadblocks.  I remember feeling anxious thinking I wasn’t going to make the start of the race.  Then the race started and I wasn’t at the start line.  The crowds of runners passed by me.  Feelings of disappointment and failure rummaged through my heart as I watched the runners pass me. I had prepared and trained for a race I could only watch and not participate in.  Every which way I turned, every time I tried, something got in my way to prevent me from getting to the start line.

After I awoke from my dream, I felt like I failed (nice way to start the day).  I felt the devastation of not completing the race, thinking what does all this mean?  I spent time in prayer asking God the meaning of the dream and heard his gentle response.  He asked me a very simple question, “Are you going to continue to focus on your stumbling blocks or allow me to take care of them?”  “Focus on my purpose for you, I will take care of your stumbling blocks.”

God was right.  At the time of this dream, I was a hot mess.  I was in an ugly rut of taking matters into my own hands, trying to handle things my way, amplifying the stumbling blocks that laid before me.  God was trying to show me, my struggles, my inadequacies, my unbelief will always keep me away from His purpose for me.  Focusing on my struggles making them bigger than God will always take me out of the race, not allowing me to participate and worse yet not finish.

When we live in God's purpose for us, it doesn't matter what struggles or obstacles lie in front of us, if it is His will, He will move them. Click To Tweet

At the time of my dream, I was studying the book of Nehemiah.  If you haven’t read Nehemiah, it is such a wonderful reminder of what God can do when we discover and live in His purpose.  God chose Nehemiah to carry out what He had promised to Abraham.  The Jewish people spent many years in exile and now it was time for God to come through with His promise for restoration of Jerusalem, their holy city.

Nehemiah’s heart was broken when he received news his people (The Jews) were in great trouble and the wall of Jerusalem was broken down.  Once Nehemiah heard of the turmoil, his burning desire to help his people became the sole purpose of his existence.  Two qualities I admire most in Nehemiah were his wise, decisive leadership skills to lead people in the hard work of completing the wall and his prayerful heart.

Before taking on this task of rebuilding this massive wall, Nehemiah devoted four whole months in prayer, praying and fasting before taking action!  Once the four months was over, it only took 52 days to rebuild the wall!  What is so amazing about this task, about 60 years prior Jerusalem’s wall was destroyed and rebuilt which took 20 years to rebuild!

What was the difference?

In both occurrences of the wall, there were obstacles, inward and outward oppression getting in the way of God’s purpose of rebuilding the wall.

Neh. 2:10-  There were enemies getting in the way of rebuilding the wall

Neh.  4:10-11 There was doubt, discouragement, laziness, and fear

Neh. 5:1-5-  The Jews and their families were being exploited as slaves

Neh. 6:1-8- There was an evil conspiracy plotted against Nehemiah to lure him away from the wall

Neh. 6:10-14- Lying prophets tryied to tempt Nehemiah to sin

Nehemiah 6:9 'For they all wanted to frighten us, thinking, 'Their hands will drop from the work, and it will not be done.' But now, O God, strengthen my hands.'Click To Tweet

Nehemiah was successfully able to complete the task of finishing the wall because He stayed in prayer and focused on God’s purpose, not the obstacles.

Our obstacles will always prevent us from finishing the race.  Satan will throw obstacles in our path to prevent us from living in God’s purpose for us, to keep us from His plan because He knows God’s ways are greater and better than anything we could ever imagine.

When our focus is on what God is able to do, God will move our obstacles out of the way.Click To Tweet

We have a choice– Focus on our problems or Focus on God’s purpose.

Nehemiah never lost sight of completing the wall WITH God not FOR God.  He stayed in prayer and asked for God’s wisdom never faltering from His purpose.  Our struggles, our unbelief, our doubts, our past, and insecurities will always keep us away from God’s purpose.  We can choose to amplify our struggles or allow it to be God’s platform for what he’s able to do.

What is your focus?

Do obstacles get in the way of God’s purpose for you?

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Failures Don’t Define Us

Have you ever failed something?  Not just a little failure, but a big failure that defined the course of your life?  I’ve shared in other posts the failure that changed my perspective was when I failed my nursing boards.  But what if you have a constant failure in your life one you have to deal with every day?

I’ve shared before about our daughter Brooklyn who has dyslexia which there is no cure.  She will have dyslexia for the rest of her life.  Every day she’s reminded of her inability to interpret text when she’s asked to read something.  Her deficits and inadequacies are amplified every time she’s asked to spell a word.  I can’t imagine what she goes through on a daily basis fighting the battle within thinking she’s not smart and not capable to do what others can do.

As a mother, I have a choice in how to treat my daughter and my daughter has a choice in how she will respond.  Will, I treat her that she has a disability and allow her to use it as a crutch to make excuses for why she can’t?  Or will I show her I believe in her and give her the skills she needs so she can run?

Many of us believe the lie, our failures define us and hold us back from our future.  

Praise God we serve a God who is bigger and is able.  

We are more than our past failures.  We are more than our weakest link.  God uses our weakest traits as a catalyst to propel us towards his greatest plans.  Our weaknesses are not an excuse to go through life walking with a limp, but an opportunity to learn how to overcome and grow stronger for what God has in store for us.

Our failures don’t define us, God’s truth does.

I am always so amazed how God uses the unlikely to carry out His almighty plan.  He doesn’t use the strongest, the wisest or even the most powerful to carry out His plans.  Instead, he used a little shepherd boy named David, a young teenager named Jeremiah and a man with a stuttering problem named Moses.

When you are chosen, you can’t run or hide from God’s choice.  God sees so much more in us than we will ever see in ourselves.  When God chose Moses to go before Pharaoh, Moses wasn’t so sure.

Exodus 4:10 “And Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord.  I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant.  I am slow of speech and tongue.”

I love God’s response to Moses.

Exodus 4:11-13 “The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute?  Who gives them sight or makes them blind?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

God didn’t say to Moses, ‘you know you’re right, my plan is never going to work because you don’t have the skills to be a great leader.’  Instead, God reminds Moses, who made you and gave you the ability to hear and see?

We may feel deficient.  Not adequate.  Not prepared.  But God will never ask us to go somewhere without equipping us with the skills we need to accomplish what he is asking of us.  The tasks God asks may be hard and difficult.  They may even seem impossible, but God is bigger.

Jesus reminds us inLuke 18:27, 'What is impossible with man is possible with God.'Click To Tweet

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 3:20, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen. “

When Moses went before Pharaoh, he had already provided a way and means to communicate to Pharaoh, his brother Aaron.  He provided the words and the details of what to do.  Moses was merely God’s vessel and needed his obedience.  Moses had no idea how everything was going to turn out, but God did.

I can’t always be there advocating for my daughter in what she needs to succeed, but with tutors, teachers and a strong support system, we are going to give her the skills so she can fly.  I never want her dyslexia to be a stumbling block and reason why she can’t but the reason why she overcomes and succeeds.

 

Just because my daughter has dyslexia doesn’t mean she’s deficient.

Just because Moses had a stuttering problem didn’t mean he was incapable.

2 Corinthians 3:4-5, 'Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves, but our competence comes from God.' Click To Tweet

Where we fall short, God makes up for our deficiencies and accomplishes His greatest plans through us.

We have two choices.  Allow the limitations of our deficits to confine us and stay in cycles of brokenness or allow God to use our deficits to refine us and move forward in His plans for us.

Do you believe God is bigger?

How will you allow your deficits to impact you? To confine or refine?

Has God helped you do the impossible?

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3 Valuable Lessons Failure Can Teach Us

Failure.  We have all been there.  We never forget when we fail at something.  Even though it seems horrible at the time, it can be one of the best learning experiences we go through.  Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Dr. Seuss are among some of the most successful people in history who accredit their success to their previous failures.  

A failure I will never forget is the day I failed my nursing boards (this was 19 years ago).  I had studied so hard, the result was devastating.  Three valuable lessons I learned in my failure, I carry with me to this day.  

3 Valuable Lessons Failure Teaches Us
Failure:

1. Builds character– It makes us mentally tougher.  It Prepares us to be able to do hard things.  It teaches life is not easy and we have to keep trying.  Failing my boards made me try harder.  It taught me the value in working harder, pushing myself to reach my goal.  It taught me perseverance.  Perseverance teaches us how to get through tough times.  It helps prepare us for what lies ahead.  “God doesn’t care about our achievements while we’re here on this earth. He cares about our character.” by Rick Warren

2.  Never allow numbers on a piece of paper define who you are  Whether it’s a grade you receive in class, a class rank you receive or what’s in your bank account, you are more than numbers on a piece of paper.  Take that all away, you are still who you are.

Never allow present failure define future success.Click To Tweet

Failures shape our future, prepare us for what lies ahead and make us stronger.  (The enemy) wants us to believe that we are no good, not worthy and are not able to do it.  Just because one door has closed doesn’t mean another one won’t open up.  Sometimes our failures will lead us to better paths ahead.  Allow failure to Shape your future, not define it.  

3.  Never allow failure to stop you from moving forward or accomplishing your goals.  The best way to respond to failure, is to ask, ‘What can I learn from this?’  Apply it and Keep Going. How many times did the Apostle Paul get thrown into jail and was persecuted for what he believed?  A lot.  He could have looked at his many situations as failures.  That never stopped him to on Keep Going.  He didn’t look at his situation as failure, but as an opportunity to learn, become stronger and persevere.    

God always has something better ahead. A closed door now doesn't mean another one won't open in the future. Click To Tweet

Hard work, perseverance and commitment, pays off in the long run.  You never know where your failures might lead you.  Looking back, I realized how important the lessons I learned from failing.  I learned failure….  

  • Prepared me for my future.  
  • How God used it and turned it into something better.  

I went on to obtain my Masters Degree in Nurse Anesthesia.  After the failed nursing board attempt, I never failed another test again.

I have been a nurse for 19 years, not once has a patient asked me, What grade did you get in Anatomy Class?  Did you graduate Summa Cum Laude?  Or did you pass your nursing boards the first time?  What a patient will ask you, is how long have you been a nurse?  They care about my experience and will I take good care of them, not if I’m valedictorian.  
Patients grade me on how I treat them, which is the most important grade I could ever receive.  

You are Important, Worthy and Valuable.  No matter what another person says or what failure has occurred, You Matter.  You are God’s workmanship.  He created you with a Purpose, not to be defeated but to to be Victorious.  He designed you to Succeed.  Even if you fail Now, it doesn’t mean you won’t succeed in the Future.  God will use your failures for future successes.  Take this from someone who has been on the other side of failure.  

Has Failure been apart of Your Life?

In What Ways has Failure Helped Shape Your Future?

Has God used your Failure and turned it into something Better? 

Don’t Give up, Don’t lose hope, Keep Going.  “For I know the Plans for you, plans to prosper you not to harm, but to give you Hope.”  Jerimiah 29:11 NIV

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What is One Thing Holding You Back From Your Biggest Breakthrough?

Do you have that one thing that gets in the way of your biggest breakthrough?  Maybe it’s a quirk, an idiosyncrasy, a flaw that gets in your way? Maybe you struggle with handling money, time management, getting healthy or temptation.  Chances are, the one thing getting in the way is US.

My one thing that is my consistent stumbling is my organization and lies I’ve embraced along the way that I’m not good enough.  If I’m not careful, my disorganization and doubts of myself can be the biggest factor in my downfall.

Whatever our one thing is, they aren’t meant to keep us from our breakthrough they are the catalyst God uses for the breakthrough.   Our flaws and weaknesses can seem like we’re staring at a 90-foot wall, getting in the way of God’s abundant plan for us.  But really they are apart of God’s plan to reveal His greater glory.

Four men who desired a breakthrough more than anything were lepers waiting for their chance to live a life they never had.   

In 2 Kings, these four leper men lived outside of the entrance of the city gate. People with skin diseases were forbidden by law to reside within the community. They were considered outcasts. These four men spent their days begging for food. At the time there was a great famine and war going on—times were tough for everyone.

One day the men said to each other, “Why should we sit here waiting to die?”   “We will starve if we stay here, but with the famine in the city, we will starve if we go back there. So we might as well go out and surrender to the Aramean army. If they let us live, so much the better. But if they kill us, we would have died anyway” 2 Kings 7:3-4.

The men recognized if they stayed where they were, there was a 100% chance they would starve and die. If they went out to the battlefield and surrendered to the army, they had a small chance of survival. Imagine this scene. These four lepers probably spent the greater part of their lives staring at the gate that separated them from the city begging for food—it’s the only life they have ever known. Now they are about to embark on an unknown path without fully knowing if they will live or die.

“So at twilight, they set out for the camp of the Arameans. But when they came to the edge of the camp, no one was there! For the Lord had caused the Aramean army to hear the clatter of speeding chariots and the galloping of horses and the sounds of a great army approaching.  So they panicked and ran into the night, abandoning their tents, horses, donkeys, and everything else, as they fled for their lives.” (2 Kings 7:5-6-7).

I can’t imagine the courage it took the men to go past the gates that was forbidden to enter so they could have a fighting chance for their future. The odds were already against these four men, but God had worked everything out before they even got to the battle lines, they only needed to take one step of faith. God caused the army to hear an opposing army approaching, which caused them to flee!

“When the men with leprosy arrived at the edge of the camp, they went into one tent after another, eating and drinking wine; and they carried off silver and gold and clothing and hid it. Finally, they said to each other, “This is not right. This is a day of good news, and we aren’t sharing it with anyone! If we wait until morning, some calamity will certainly fall upon us. Come on, let’s go back and tell the people at the palace” (2 Kings 7:8-9).

How surprised were these men when they found no one there and abundant riches waiting for them? They went from starving to trusting in God, to receive the most lavish gifts ever in their lives. How would you respond? Would you share your newly found riches with someone else or keep them to yourself?

The response of the lepers astounds me. They lived in squalor conditions most of their lives. Their immediate response was to share with the very people who considered them outcasts!

“So they went back to the city and told the gatekeepers what had happened. “We went out to the Aramean camp,” they said, “and no one was there! The horses and donkeys were tethered and the tents were all in order, but there wasn’t a single person around!” Then the gatekeepers shouted the news to the people in the palace” (2 Kings 7:10-11).

How great is our God?

Leprosy was the one thing that kept these men from living in community with others, but God used it in the end, to bring them together. No one else had the courage to go towards the battle except these men.

What is one thing that holds you back from your breakthrough?

Maybe it’s fear. shame. pride. doubt. worry. anxiety. You’re one thing may be the very thing keeping you from the abundant freedom God desires for you.

I am encouraged by the courage of these four men. They were willing to abandon everything that was comfortable to them and go towards where God was asking them to go—towards the battle. When they did, God had already gone ahead of them and worked everything out. When they let go of the one thing that was holding them back, God filled them abundantly more than what they could ever ask for or imagine.

Are you ready for a breakthrough?  You Are………

We are only one prayer from our next breakthrough.  If you desire a breakthrough start praying, ask God to reveal what is getting in the way and give it to Him.  I promise when you say yes to God and surrender our stumbling block to him, He will be there waiting to fill you abundantly more than whatever you could ask for or imagine. God is greater.

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What to Do When You Don’t Like Your Life Season

I’m excited to share Janet Thompson’s new book Mentoring For All Seasons that just came out September 12th!  I am honored that I had an opportunity to be a contributor to her new book.  Be encouraged by Janet’s post how we may not always like every season we are in but can help each other succeed by mentoring or being mentored.

Janet’s Post

We’ve all heard it said, “There’s a time for everything.” Or “You’re just in a season, it will pass.” In fact, it’s Scriptural—

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”—Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The good and pleasant seasons sound wonderful and just what God wants for us, right? It’s so easy to think that God couldn’t possibly want what we perceive as a bad or unpleasant season for us. And yet this Scripture passage tells us that God made both, and while we’re alive, we’re going to experience every season—the good and the bad—under heaven.

Pastor Rick Warren often says that life is like a roller coaster: if you’re going up and experiencing a good season, brace yourself because in about three weeks you’ll probably find yourself going down into an unpleasant season, screaming all the way!

We try so hard to hold onto those feel-good seasons, and there’s nothing wrong with that—we should have times of joy, dancing, laughing, loving, and peace. But when the not so good times roll, we need to remember that God has not left us. He’s walking right beside us through the mourning, weeping, uprooting, and war seasons, and that’s when a mentor is so helpful to remind us that she made it through her tough seasons and we will too.

 

CLICK TO TWEET

 

The focus of my book Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture has Forgotten is for us to remember how good God has been in all the seasons of our life. God never abandons His children. This is a message we need to share with each other and with the culture, especially during these challenging times we live in today.

Reasons for Not Liking our Life Season

Usually, we don’t like our life season because:

It’s painful or uncomfortable.

We’re jealous and like what someone else’s life looks like more than our own life.

We’re living with the consequences of our, or someone else’s, behavior or decisions.

We’re discontent or discouraged.

We’re not sure if God still cares about us.

What would you add to the list?

We all have difficult seasons we want to end. Or maybe we’re in a wonderful season that we never want to end. Many life seasons we have no control over, even though advertisers and the culture would try to make you believe differently. They set us up to fail either way by thinking if we just drink the right cola, take the right pill, own the right car, use the right cosmetics and anti-aging products, eat the right food, reach success . . . every season of our life will be heavenly. The aging clock is going to stop and somehow God made our lives to be different from everyone else’s life.

But that’s a lie and those who buy into it will never be content because everything God lists in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 is a season that everyone will experience.

What to Do When We Don’t Like Our  Life Season

We probably feel like crying, screaming, maybe yelling, getting depressed, ignoring, or trying to get out of it. If we’re honest, we’ve all been there.

But soon we realize that the only thing that works when we don’t like our life season is to ask God how He wants us to deal with it, and then listen carefully to how the Holy Spirit speaks to us. It’s that still small voice we hear guiding us when we cry out to God. We might not know how to get through the season, but God does. So often He’s talking, but we’re not listening.

Someone on a friend’s Facebook post asked how my Christian friend knew what God wanted. Did he have a direct line to God? I thought, Yes he does! Every Christian has a direct line to God the world doesn’t understand, and one we don’t use nearly enough: praying to Jesus who hears every word and the Holy Spirit who intercedes for us even when all we can do is groan.

For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus. 1 Timothy 2:5

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

While writing this post, I met a woman whose husband has cancer. As she shared her story, I heard in my mind hug her and pray for her. Mind you, we had just met, and I had already told her I would be praying for her husband and their family since I understood having had breast cancer three times. But as she kept talking, I knew I was to pray for her now. So I said, “Let me pray for you,” and stepped forward to hug her; but she didn’t realize that I meant right then. I knew God meant right then! She needed it and she was so grateful.

I had tried to talk myself out of it, and how many times is God trying to tell us what to do “right then,” but we’re dismissing His words of wisdom to see us through this season and on into the next one. That’s when a mentor can step in and do just what I was able to do for this woman, even though we barely knew each other. Can you imagine how much comfort can come from two women who have a personal mentoring relationship?!

God doesn’t want us going through any season alone, but He also doesn’t want us listening to anyone who isn’t giving us biblical wisdom. That’s why in Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, every season has Scripture to study together that applies to the various issues women might experience in that season.

Being a mentor, or a mentee reaching out to another woman for guidance, doesn’t mean the mentor has all the answers or the Bible memorized. It just means she’s willing to search God’s Word and pray together for Him to tell you both what to do in the life seasons you might not like right now; and then, you both reach out and help someone else going through something similar.

And that’s exactly what Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us we need to do when we’re going through a life season we don’t like!

Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness released 9/12/17 is available now for purchase.

Author Bio

Janet Thompson is an international speaker, freelance editor, and award-winning author of 19 books. Her latest release is Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness. (September 12, 2017)

She is also the author of Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten; The Team That Jesus Built; Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?; Dear God They Say It’s Cancer; Dear God, He’s Home!; Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter; Face-to-Face Bible study Series; and Woman to Woman Mentoring: How to Start, Grow, & Maintain a Mentoring Ministry Resources.

She is the founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring and About His Work Ministries.

Visit Janet at:

womantowomanmentoring.com

www.facebook.com/Janetthompson.authorspeaker

http://www.linkedin.com/in/womantowomanmentoring/

www.pinterest.com/thompsonjanet

https://twitter.com/AHWministries


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