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Confessions of a Married Woman

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Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God (Romans 15:7).

Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts.  Yet sometimes marriage can not feel like much of a gift.

Marriage has been around since the beginning of time when God created Adam and Eve.  God  designed marriage to fulfill our need for companionship and demonstrate what it means to be in a covenant relationship with God—to be in union with one another (1 Cor. 6:17).  Our marriages are an earthly model of our spiritual relationship between Christ and His bridegroom (the church) [1].  (Ephesians 5:25-27, Isa. 61:10, 62:5)​

It amazes me how God thinks of everything.  He designed us to be in relationship with another so we wouldn’t be lonely, but also fulfill a greater purpose to be in a relationship with Him.

We were challenged by our pastor this past week, to ask ourselves the question—Does your marriage possess a biblical love like God loves us?

As a married couple of of over 15 years, we strive to love each other the way God loves us.  However, we are not perfect and have flaws.  There are times we don’t always get it right. We sometimes treat each other not so nicely and take things out on one another.  This question made me think of those married in the Bible.  What did they do in their not-so- lovely moments and what do these moments teach us?

I wonder…..

Did Adam and Eve’s argument continue on for days on end?

Did Abraham and Sarah ever argue about infertility?

Did Jacob and Rachel ever have unlovely moments?

Unlovely moments make me think of Gomer (Hosea’s wife) and the Israelites when they strayed away from God.  Gomer had become an adulteress and Israel was worshipping other gods besides God.  I love how God teaches us about the power of His love in these unlikely moments.  

The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes”  (Hosea 3:1). 

Hosea’s love saved his wife from a dead empty life of adultery and pagan worship. God’s love gave Israel a second chance for redemption and restoration.  Just as God’s love was the key to redeem and restore the covenant relationship with Israel, Hosea’s love (a biblical love) was the key to redeem and restore the covenant of his marriage to Gomer (Hosea 3). Unimaginable!

We all have unlovely moments.  Oh how I have been unlovely before.  I want to be loved even in my unloveliness.

God used Hosea (which means salvation) to show us what happens when we love and accept others in the face of unloveliness.  By Homer choosing to love and forgive his adulterous wife Gomer, he wasn’t condoning or accepting her sin—he was obeying God allowing an opportunity for His redemption. Even in Gomer’s not-so-lovely choices, God called Hosea to love her.

God uses these unlovely moments to teach us so much.  

Loving and accepting each other in ugly moments allows grace to fill the unloveliness with God's redemption and restoration (Click to Tweet)Click To Tweet.  

God shows me that when I seek him, He is able to turn my unlovely moments into something so much better than I ever can. 

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”  Jeremiah 29:12-13

There will always be an unlovely moment.  How will we respond?

With Love. God’s love makes our marriages perfect and complete in Him.  In God’s love we lack nothing (Colossians 2:10).  

The enemy would like nothing more than to divide our marriages by magnifying our unloveliness to each other.  Choosing God’s love in the face of unloveliness, invites God to build long lasting marriages rooted in His biblical love for us. 

Prayer-
Thank you Jesus for the wonderful gift of marriage.  Thank you for loving me in my unloveliness.  Thank you for teaching us so much about ourselves and our marriages in these moments.  Thank you for showing me it may take forever before we get it right, but that’s okay.  Help us to seek you God in our not so lovely moments and stay rooted in your biblical love for us.  Your love never fails.  I praise you God, in Jesus name, Amen.

How will you choose love in the face of unloveliness?

What have unlovely moments taught you?

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In case you missed it here is the 4 part series of Confessions:  Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom,  Confessions of a Skinny Girl, Confessions of a Working Mom.

I would love to hear from you!  Leave your comments below. Have a Blessed Week!

A Marriage Prayer-  Pray this verse together this week.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13

Dear Lord,
I pray our love is patient, it will always be kind.  I pray it will never envy nor boast that it will be ridden of any pride.  I pray our love for each other will never be rude or self-seeking.  I pray our love will not be easily angered or keep a record of wrongs.  I pray our love will never delight in evil but rejoice in the truth.  I pray your love will be the center of our marriage and always protect, always trust, always hope and always perseveres.  Your love never fails, Lord.  Thank you for your faithfulness Lord.  We know there is nothing greater than your love.  I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.

Confessions of a Working Mom

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Sometimes I struggle as a mom who works outside the home, with not always having all the laundry done, all the dishes washed in the sink or homemade well balanced hot meals sitting on the table ready for my family to eat before 6 o’clock.  I struggle with not being at all the class parties, field trips and being able to go on mom coffee dates.  Truth is most days there are piles of unwashed dishes in the sink.  Sometimes we have sandwiches for dinner.  

I am so thankful for my husband, because without his love and support I wouldn’t be able to function as a working mom.   We try our best to run our household working together as a team.   

However, do you ever have those days where things just don’t run so smoothly?  You know before starting the day (before 6:30 am), there is a mile long of things that need to be done before leaving the house like feeding kids and dogs, brushing teeth and making sure lunches are in backpacks?  And after working a whole day, kids need picked up from school, dinner needs to be made, kids need help with their homework, the kitchen needs to be cleaned, lunches need to be prepared, then it’s time for bed!  Then the whole routine is reapeated over the next 4 days until the weekend comes!

As mothers and wives, we don’t do things to be commended.  But it would be nice to hear the words ‘thank you’ now and then.  Whether you are a mom who works inside the home or outside of the home, being a mom can be an exhausting, thanklesss job.  Especially the job of a stay at home mom, because their job isn’t always recognized as being a job most of the time, because they don’t receive a ‘paycheck.’  I have to give credit to stay at home moms, I don’t know how they do it.  They have one of the hardest jobs of all.

As a mom, can you relate?  We may question, is this God’s calling for us? 

We may compare ourselves to each other by what another accomplishes and achieves, and use that as a determination of our worth.  I promise you this is not how God sees us or how our worth is measured.  God desires us to seek him for our acceptance, our approval and our worth, not in our comparisons of one another.

So where is the worth and value in our work when we don’t receive grattitude?

“In all work you are doing, work the best you can.  Work as if you were doing it for the Lord, not people”  (Colossians 3:23)

Even if we don’t recieve a ‘thank you,’ there is still value in our work when we do it for the Lord.  Finding value in our achievements is an endless, empty path.  I can guarantee you there will always be another pile of dishes in the sink, another load of laundry to wash, another meal to prepare.  Where is the value in our endless tasks?

We don’t have to live in the comparisons of others or our achievements to find our acceptance and worth–In God’s love we lack nothing, in him we are made complete (Colossians 2:10). 

Being a mom who works outside of the house continues to teach me to be content in whatever situation I am in (Philippians 4:11).  

If I wait until my house is clean to invite a friend over, I miss out on an opportunity to spend time with a dear friend.

If I wait until I have achieved something great, I miss out on all the joys God has intended to fill me with.

There is value and worth in God’s calling for us.  It doesn’t matter what our circumstances are, in God we receive the fullness of joy in every situation.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” Psalm 16:11.

When God’s desires are our desires, we are fulfilling God’s calling for us.  

Seeking God to fill us with His desires, we will always be satisfied in who God says we are.  “And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail” Isaiah 58:11.

Being a working mom (outside of the house and inside) may be a challenging, tough job.  Know that whatever you do, you are doing it for the Lord and that you are loved even if your house is dirty!

If you like this blogpost, Please share with others!  Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox?  Subscribe to my blog and receive a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.

Join me over the next 4 weeks for the 4 part series of Confesions of a Skinny Girl, Confessions, of a Stay at Home Mom, and Married Woman!

I would love to hear from you!  Leave your comments below.  Have a Blessed Week!

Sometimes moms just need a pat on the back and hear the words your doing a great job!  To all the hard working moms know that you are loved and are doing a great job!  Encourage another mom today.  Let her know she is loved and doing a great job!  Print out these printable post-it notes by Cindy Bultema or download and share on social media #LiveFullWalkFree.  These printables are from the Bible study I am reading right now Live Full Walk Free by Cindy Bultema by Thomas Nelson publishers.

Click here to download PDF

Download PDF file above and share with others!

Share on social media with #LiveFullWalkFree or tag @CindyBultema

Confessions of a Skinny Girl

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How was your Thanksgiving?  Most of us are probably not feeling too skinny right now after eating tons of turkey, pie, mashed potatoes or whatever thanksgiving goodness we piled on our plates.  And then there were the pies!  Of course we have to try them all!

I am known as the skinny girl.  The one who has skinny arms, legs and non-existent hips. When people meet me,  I know what they are thinking….  That skinny girl looks like she has it altogether.

What struggles could she possibly have? 

Don’t be fooled by this small petite frame that there aren’t deep struggles that lie beneath.  Just because outwardly I’m small, doesn’t mean that inwardly my struggles aren’t big.

Truth is, this skinny girl ate way too much turkey and pie at Thanksgiving, that I can barely button my pants! If I could, I would eat a whole plate of fried pickles if my body wouldn’t hate me later.  I love chocolate cake—lots of it.  

Oh how I have flaws. I’ve wasted years of my life wishing I was taller, wishing this scraggly body looked like the voluptuous woman on the front cover of magazines. I have learned the hard way, in my indulgence and lack of self-discipline there are great consequences that lead to more emptiness and destruction.

Then I fall at the feet of Jesus and confess to Him all my flaws, my ugliness and mistakes.  He then says, “Dear child you will never find your self-worth and acceptance in this world, only in me.”  

“I chose you before I gave you life, and before you were born I selected you to be a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5 GNT).

He first chose me.  He knew me before I was even born.  

Only in the arms of God’s grace will my flaws and shortcomings be accepted.  

Only in the boundaries of God’s love will I find my worth—not in the size of my waist, otherwise I wouldn’t be worth very much.   

On the days I feel l have failed either as a wife or a parent, I am thankful my worth isn’t measured by my performance.

If I wait until I look a certain way, I miss out on the freedom God desires for me.

And thank God my value isn’t weighed by how clean my house is, otherwise I would be bankrupt.  

As years have gone by, I’ve to learn to accept God’s will and design for me.  God did not design this 5’ 3’’ petite frame to be on the basketball team.  His plan isn’t for me to be something I’m not.  I have a choice—keep trying to live up to worldly standards in who this world says I should be, or accept and live in God’s design for me.  Only one of them offers a life that is forgiving and filled with grace.   

When people meet me, they look at me and say I used to be a lot skinnier.  Our value and worth will never be found in our comparisons of each other.  We can break the chains of comparison by walking away from the lies of the enemy.

God made us exactly who we are for a specific reason and purpose all for His glory, not ours.

It doesn’t matter what size we are.  We are loved by Jesus who loved us first. (1 John 4:19)

In our flaws God sees our BEAUTY. (Ezekiel 27:3)

In our shortcomings God sees His PERFECT PLAN. (Jeremiah 29:11)  

In our weaknesses, God’s POWER is perfected. 

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness ” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me”  (2 Corinthians 12:9).  

In our messiness, God’s love sees us as blameless (2 Peter 3:14).

These three truths will always set us free.  

You are loved.

You are accepted.

You’re value is immeasurable in the eyes of God.  

You’re life has meaning and purpose.  If God didn’t deem your life as worthy, He would have never sent Jesus.  You were worth dying for.  

By His grace we have been saved.  

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God”  (Ephesians 2:9).

Thank you Jesus, for loving me just the way I am!  You are loved my friend! 

What truths has God showed you?

Do you know how valuable you are in the eyes of God?  

If you like this blogpost, Please share with others!  Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox?  Subscribe to my blog and receive a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.

I would love to hear from you!  Leave your comments below.  Have a Blessed Week!