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The Difference Between React and Respond

 

The other day I was scrolling through my Instagram feed after a very divided nation was arguing each of their sides to the issue of a recent Supreme Court ruling.  I was taken back by the comments and reactions of each side.  This isn’t the first time our nation has been divided on how to handle the care of human life nor will it be the last.  The question we can ask ourselves in these times of heated debate is, how will the outcome be most beneficial, in our reactions or our response?

The Difference Between React and Respond

Life if 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.' Quote Charles R. Swindoll Click To Tweet

In our reactions we will always stay in the argument, the debate will never end because reactions are fueled with our emotions.  The enemy would like nothing more than for us to stay in our reactions, because in our reactions is how the enemy distracts us and keeps us in the argument and chaos.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of react is:  “to exert a reciprocal or counteracting force or influence often used with on or upon.  2: to change in response to a stimulus.  3: to act in opposition to a force or influence usually used with against  4: to move or tend in a reverse direction.”  

To react is to respond without thinking, is impulsive, immediate, and chases our emotions.  Our reactions are usually driven by our fears, attached to unmet expectations, and are short-sighted not able to rationally see the entire perspective of our situation.  As you can see in the definition, to react is usually a negative response in opposition of something.

Definition of respond:to say something in return : make an answer respond to criticism 2a: to react in response to a call for help b: to show favorable reaction, respond to surgery. 3: to be answerable” 
In the Bible, when Jesus was presented with a situation, he responded not reacted.  One of the greatest examples of this, is the woman’s life he spared from stoning in John 8.  When the Pharisees brought an adulterous woman to Jesus, they wanted Him to react to her sin and make an example of her to others.  But Jesus doesn’t react, He responds to what the woman needs, His grace.  According to the Jewish Law of Consequence this woman deserved to be stoned publicly to shame her for what she had done.  But Jesus shows a new way, one that forgives and restores, that doesn’t codon or condemn.
Jesus then stood up and said, “‘Where are they?’  ‘Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.”  And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you;  and from now on, ‘sin no more.'” (John 8:10-11).
Jesus didn’t react to the woman’s sin, he responded to her deepest need.  The Pharisees wanted Jesus to react to what this woman deserved.  But this is where the enemy will entrap us to react, to cast stones at someone’s behavior, to keep us in a cycle to constantly throw stones at one another.  Jesus breaks the cycle and doesn’t respond to the crazy, but sets a new path to enter into his healing grace.
The response is intentional, delayed, comes from a place of love and respect, rational, comes from self-control, and thinks about the long-term picture.  From the definition, to respond is to show a favorable reaction.  There will always be something we don’t agree with.  An argument.  A debate.  We have to ask ourselves what is the outcome we desire?  My desire is that everyone I know, knows the love of Jesus and one day I will see them in heaven.  Life is too short and precious to spend it arguing especially with loved ones.  Is my opinion and battle to be right the desire I want?  Not Really. We all want to be seen and heard.  We get lost in the fight to be right and miss out on God’s victory, a battle he’s already fought and won.
If there is one thing I hear Jesus telling me, is my role is to be the vessel, the messenger.  My job is to bring the loaves of bread and fish, Jesus will feed the 5,000.  My role is to show people the love of Jesus, not to cast stones.  My purpose is to step out of the boat, not to sit there and wait until the storm is over to respond to what is happening in the world.  I may get wet or even sink but Jesus will be there to hold my hand.  I don’t have to like or agree with what everyone is doing, but I am called to love others no matter who they are or what they have done.  We are all sinners and don’t deserve what Jesus has done for us, his gift is for everyone, we don’t have to earn it.  The love of Jesus is for everyone.
Next time you see a post you don’t like or agree with, Ask God:

How should I respond?

What is the outcome you desire?

Will people see Jesus in my reaction or my response?

We may not have control over our situations, but we can control how we react or respond to our situations.  Jesus came so we could have life and have it to the full.  We miss out on His abundance when we allow our reactions to have the best of us.  If we don’t control our reactions, our reactions will control us.  How can you respond today to a situation you don’t like?  We are able to have peace and serenity restored when our response is driven by God’s love.

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Jesus Is The King

With Christmas approaching, we may have certain expectations of how everything will turn out—baking cookies, playing Christmas music, sending out cards, wrapping gifts, hanging lights, decorating a tree, etc.  These things set the stage and prepare us for the celebration of Christmas.

Imagine if we didn’t decorate for Christmas, send out cards or bake cookies, would anyone recognize it’s time for Christmas?

Jesus is King

Two thousand years ago many were anticipating something great to happen, the arrival of the “Messiah the Prince”  of the “Anointed One, the ruler” (Daniel 9:24-27).  People were expectantly waiting for a new Messiah around 30 AD when Jesus was born, based on the prophecy of Daniel.

Jerusalem had a lot of preparation to do before the arrival of their new king.   The arrival of their new king, meant a new hope for their nation.

Little was known of how their new king was going to arrive or what he’d look like.  Was he to arrive in a chariot of gold, or on a cloud from heaven?  Was he to be surrounded by royalty and clothed with robes and riches?  A worldly expectation would be for a king to be surrounded by all these things.

The Israelite’s only had the prophecy of Daniel to prepare their hearts for God’s timing and that their Messiah would be a descendant of David (Matt. 1:6, Luke 3:31).  They were not given a description of what their new king looked like only His titles of what He was to fulfill when He came.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6 NIV Click To Tweet

The Israelite’s weren’t looking for some lowly figure to be their new king, but someone of great importance such as a great military leader or a mighty politician (MacAruthur p. 130).  They were not expecting or looking for a baby to fulfill God’s promises.

The Israelite’s didn’t know, their new king would not meet any of their expectations. Because they put their own worldly expectations on who their new Messiah would be, they didn’t even recognize their Messiah when he arrived.

Luke 2:11-12 NKJV
“For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be the sign to you:  You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manager.”  

Their new king didn’t make a grand entrance announcing his arrival by riding on a horse, being surrounded by royalty, wearing a crown or holding a septer in his hand.  Instead He was born of two peasants Mary and Joseph.  His birth was announced by an angel to shepherds and born in a stable amongst barn animals.

God fulfilled his promises of a king, but the only Israelite’s who recognized and “understood that Jesus was the Messiah at His birth were Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, Simeon and Anna,” people of no significance (MacArthur p. 130).

Can you imagine waiting for your king to arrive and not even recognizing him?  

God’s plan wasn’t to have Jesus raised up on a pedestal and be brought into this world among royalty (even though he was a king), but be born among the humble and to dwell among us (John 1:14).

God has the most amazing plans ever. He used a baby to change the world. Click To Tweet

God was fulfilling a greater plan for His greater purpose.  Imagine all of the Israelite’s who missed out on the birth of their Messiah because they were expecting something different. They inserted their own expectations and definitions of a king, not allowing for God’s greater plan to unfold.

Have you been in the presence of Jesus and didn’t even recognize Him?

We don’t have to wait, our king is here.  We can rejoice because, our “Savior has been born!” (Luke 2:11).  He is our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace!

Is Jesus your King?  If He is type Hallelujah below!

Praying your Christmas will be filled with all of God’s greatness and glory of our king, Amen!

 

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Twelve Extraordinary Women by John MacArthur by Thomas Nelson Publishers


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Have You Ever Been a Holy Mess? Interview with Michelle Rabon’s New Book: Holy Mess

 

Have you ever just felt like your life was a mess?  Or maybe even a Hot Mess?  But a Holy Mess?  That’s a whole other level!  Just reading the title makes me relate!

What if our Holy Messes were apart of God’s Holy Purpose for us?

What if God’s Holy Purpose could not be carried out in us if we didn’t have our Messes?

Our messes are God’s platform to carry out His greatest plans.  He doesn’t need us to do this, He WANTS US to carry out His plans.  He could have chosen to live anywhere in the world but He chose to reside in our hearts.

I want to introduce you to Michelle Rabon the author of a Holy Mess.  She actually wrote “Holy Mess” as both a traditional book with a coordinating Bible study. The benefit of the book is to help women find freedom from the messes of their life through Christ and walk forward in faith. It will help women see that God meets us in the midst of every mess we will face in this life and He will walk us through it all.

So let’s get started!

Heather:  What is the story behind Holy Mess?  What drove you to write this book?

Michelle:  I never set out to write a book in all honesty. I accepted Christ at the age of 19, but it took until my late 20s to really understand what it meant to be a woman radically changed by the Gospel. I know God saved me and changed me, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to live that out. 

From the time I was 19 to my late 20s, I was married, had three children, lost my father, brother, mother in law and had two miscarriages. There was a lot of life, a lot of hurt and little understanding of how the Gospel could meet me in the midst of it all. Holy Mess really is 10 years of hard fought lessons in one book. Everything God has used to teach me about what the Gospel really means for our lives every day. 

I wrote the idea on a piece of paper three years ago. I knew that all I walked through was not without reason and it was meant to be shared. The desire of my heart and the burden God placed on my heart was to help other women see the power of the Gospel for every area of her life. 

Heather: What does it mean to be a woman who is radically changed by the gospel?  

Michelle:  Being a woman who is radically changed by the gospel is a reflection of the power of what Christ can do in a woman’s life. When we accept the gift of salvation and surrender our lives to God because of Christ,  who went to a cross on our behalf – God begins to shape us into His holy daughters. Our perfection isn’t required because He meets us in the midst of our messes. 

When we are radically changed we are moved from our old way to a new way, a new life. A life of abundance and hope. It does not mean God is offering us a perfect life, but He says I will meet you in it. He says I am with you every step, and He will be faithful to bring the holy to His radically changed daughters.

Heather:  What was your favorite and least favorite part of the process of the Holy mess?  

Michelle:  My favorite part of the process was learning so much about the women of the Bible. There is so much that God will teach us through the people in the pages of Scripture. Their stories resonate with us because they are like you and I, just a few hundred years between us. 

My least favorite, having to walk out what God was teaching me, every word I wrote I lived out first before it found its way onto a page. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it. 

Heather:  If there is one take away message you can share from the Holy mess what would that be?  

Michelle:  That if God can change the women of the Bible then He can change you, and when He changes you, He will walk this life with you. 

 

Michelle is a wife and mom of three who is learning to embrace the messiness of life and walk in the grace of God. When she isn’t chasing or homeschooling her little ones, she is writing, drinking coffee, and serving women in her local church. You can find her at Displayinggrace.com, Instagram @displayinggrace and Facebook @displaygrace

All book information is at www.holymessbook.com

 


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10 Bible Verses That Will Give You More Courage

10 Courageous Bible Verses

 

Have you ever been stuck in a rut or the same pattern that keeps repeating over and over?  You wonder how do I get off this treadmill that leads to the land of nowhere?

Sometimes I tend to blame my situation or circumstances of why I can’t move forward or get off that treadmill when I realize I AM the stumbling block.  I’m the one trying to do things my own way, with my own strength, forgetting to rely on God for HIS Courage to get me through.

When you feel yourself getting into a rut or running on the treadmill keep these verses near and hide them in your hearts, so we don’t keep trusting in our own strength but in God’s strength.  When we refer to the ONE who is the PROVIDER of COURAGE we will always have an endless supply.

Here are 10 Bible Verses That Will Give You More Courage:

What is Courage?  The Bible defines courage as as the ability to do something brave out of a motivation of the heart.  Courage wouldn’t be courage if we weren’t taking risks towards growth that scared us.  In reality, courage helps build our character for what God has in store for us, helps strengthen us and helps us learn how to draw closer and depend on
God.

When we need to depend on God.

  1.   “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

This Bible verse is hanging in my bedroom above my bed.  I love how I can physically see this verse and be reminded of it’s power.  We don’t have to fear or be afraid when God is holding our hands.

2.  “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise— in God, I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”  Psalm 56:3-4

In my experience, displaced trust causes more fear.  When we put the trust in ourselves we will always fall short and fail.  We don’t have to be afraid when our trust is placed in God our PROTECTOR who is able to keep us safe.

3. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

I love how before Jesus left this earth, he gives encouragement we don’t have to be afraid.  We can receive a peace that’s not of this world when we focus our hearts on HIM and not our circumstances.

When God’s courage strengthens us.

4.  “Wait for the LORD;  be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”  Psalm 27:14

God uses EVERYTHING we go through for HIS GLORY and HIS PLANS.  He uses our circumstances, our trials, burdens, our struggles to strengthen us and build our COURAGE so he can use us for what He has in store for us, if WE LET HIM.  When we patiently WAIT for what he has for us we will see HIS glorious plans unfold within our lives.

5.  “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”  Psalm 31:24

God never says what we go through isn’t going to be hard.  He left instructions in how to strengthen the courage he gives us.  Courage needs strength in order for it to be courage.  When we depend and seek God for our strength we will have all the courage we need.  We can trust his courage is enough and all we will ever need.

6.  “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”  Ephesians 6:10

We can rest in God’s mighty power for our strength and courage.  We don’t have to use our own strength to go through what we’re going through.  Nothing in this world can compare or even come close to be being more powerful that God’s power and strength.

When God’s Courage motivates us to accomplish His will for us.

7.  “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58

We don’t have to be discouraged.  Whatever work we we do, when we do it for the Lord, it will never be in vain.  We can stand firm even when don’t like our circumstances and trust he will use them for something greater.  The assignments God has for us can’t be messed up by the circumstances of our past (@OhSheNoble).  God made us with flaws and all.  He made us all with a specific purpose.

Our flaws don't disqualify us from HIS plans our disobedience does. Click To Tweet

8.  “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.”  2 Timothy 1:7

Don’t miss out on the journey God has for you, because of fear-filled thoughts and discouraging doubts.  God didn’t create us to live in a world of defeat but be victorious in His strength and courage.  Embrace who you are in how God made you, flaws and all and allow HIM to use them as a platform for HIS strength.

We can trust in His plans.

9.  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

We can trust God’s plans are the best plans.

10.  “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”  Galatians 6:9

Whatever you're going through, DON'T GIVE UP! God's Courage is Strong Enough to Get you Through! #dontgiveup #choose #courage #brave #choosegrittyClick To Tweet

When you feel the tug of defeat weighing on your heart, refer to these verses.  And Remember…………

How God use situations of adversity like David when he defeated Goliath.  A young boy was an unlikely choice to defeat a giant, but God used David’s skill and God’s courage to defeat a giant 4 times his size.

Remember how God used a storm to show Peter, when we step out of the boat in obedience to God’s calling we see miracles happen (walking on water).

Resting in God’s endless supply of Courage will his greatest accomplishments to arise in US!  God’s strength is ENOUGH!

Do you need more courage?

What makes your courage stronger?

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7 Christian Blogs Worth Following

7 Blogs worth following

I know what you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to follow blogs, nonetheless read them!”  I was the same way.  But now that I’ve entered into the blogging world, every week I’m blown away by the content some of these women write!  They pour their hearts and souls into their writing, to be able to come alongside someone who needs encouragement or point people back to Jesus.

I promise you, following these blogs will be well worth your time.  If you’re a wife, mom, daughter, sister or just a woman who has struggles, I promise one of these blogs will encourage you and meet you right where you are.

7 Christian Blogs Worth Following

1. Susan Call–  I met Susan at a Speak Up Conference almost 4 years ago.  She is author of the book A Search for Purple Cows:  A story of Hope.  Susan faithfully writes on her blog weekly providing readers with life application content they can relate to.  Some of her content includes what to do when you feel like you’re not enough, when you’re not appreciated, when you’re stuck to name a few.  She’s written for Guideposts magazine, Chicken Soup for the Soul and speaks at writers conferences.  Follow her blog at www.susancall.com.  

2. Misty Phillip–  By His Grace:  Seek Jesus, Study the Word, Grow in Grace.  I’ve connected with Misty through blogging/writing groups.  Misty has a heart for connecting with other women through her blog, her podcast By His Grace podcast where she interviews other women who have gone through tragedy and tell their story of hope in Jesus.  Misty has recently launched two new books The Struggle is Real:  But so is God and Dear Wife (a wife like me contributor).  Misty has so many platforms to connect women and point people to Jesus.  You won’t be disappointed when you visit her blog www.mistyphillip.com.

3. Sarah Geringer:  Finding Peace in God’s Word-  Sara’s blog focuses on finding peace in the storms and busyness of life. Helps give practical faith-based tips when one feels overwhelmed, helping equip others in their spiritual growth despite adversity.  I love Sara’s truth, honesty and practical tips.  When she writes I feel like she’s speaking directly to me.  She’s also not afraid to write about bold topics that need to be addressed.  Make sure you visit her blog and check out her devotionals she’s written at www.sarahgeringer.com.

4. Jessica Brodie:  Shining the Light –  Jessica is an Christian author, blogger, journalist, editor and writing coach.  She writes uplifting, faith-filled, encouraging messages on her blog bi-weekly!  Her blog will come alongside you right where you are giving you the encouragement you need when you need it.  Jessica has published two Christian Fiction books, “The Memory Garden,” and “Where There’s Smoke,” among other magazine and newspaper publications.  She also has uplifting Scripture graphics and quotes on her Facebook page-Author Jessica Brodie.  To read more about Jessica and her books visit http://www.jessicabrodie.com.

5. Lori Schumaker:  Encouraging Women to Meet the Challenges of Life With the Hope of Christ.  I’ve connected with Lori through mutual writing groups and friends.  Her hope is for those who visit her blog to feel equipped, encouraged and loved!  She loves to help others find freedom and joy in their identity in Christ.

One thing I love about Lori is how much she writes about prayer!  You can tell she has a heart for helping others and a passion for Christ.  Lori is author of the book Surrendered Hearts:  an Adoptions story of Love, Loss and learning how to trust.  She definitely helps the broken hearted be ushered towards the Healer.  Visit her blog at www.lorischumaker.com.

6. Karen ‘Girl’ Friday:  Hope is Among Us.  I’ve connected with Karen via blogging/writers groups.  She has an amazing blog that has won a couple of awards for her writing.  She has published articles in magazines, is a contributing writer for A Wife Like Me and the book Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection With Your Husband.  She is passionate about mentoring women and discipleship that helps followers of Christ live with authentic faith in real life. Her vision and mission in life is for everyone to know Jesus more and make Him known in their lives.  To read more about Karen visit her blog www.karengirlfriday.com.  

7. Jessie Synan:  Freelance Writer and Digital Marketer.  I follow Jessie’s Twitter, Instagram and Facebook feeds because she has great content to help Christian bloggers not only with their websites but also their social media accounts/feeds.  She has a Facebook group I belong to called Faithful Influencers on Social Media that helps bloggers encourage one another, but also receive helpful tips from Jessie how to increase traffic to your blog through social and how to engage with your readers better.  I learn so much from her and the other bloggers in this group.  To connect with Jessie or read more about her visit on of her social media platforms or visit her blog at www.jessiesynan.com.

What bloggers do you follow?  And Why?

What type of blogs do you like to read?

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I would love to hear from you! Leave your comments below! In Him, 

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MENDED: A Book Review and GIVEAWAY!

Mended: A Book Review and Giveaway!

One of the most important relationships you can have is with your mother.

 

Mother’s Day can be a mixed bag of emotions for many.  Many celebrate Mother’s Day without their mother, or who have a strained relationship with their mom, and some can’t talk to their mothers at all because they’ve passed away.  Whatever the circumstance, Mother’s Day can bring joy and/or pain.

Today I have the opportunity to share with you the new book Mended:  Restoring the hearts of Mothers and Daughters by Blythe Daniels and Helen McIntosh.

A moment of honesty–I was a little afraid to read this book, in fear it would conjure up unwanted emotions and pains of the past.  

As a child I grew up in a divorced home and had the blessing of having two mothers.  My step-mom from the start treated my twin sister and I as her very own.  Of course there are ups and downs in any relationship but the love we had for each other grew over the years into something greater–a mother/daughter relationship.

My relationship with my (biological) mother was different.  I didn’t understand much about mental illness as a child and didn’t understand why my mother acted certain ways.  As I grew into adulthood I had to learn how to separate the person from the mental illness.  When I was hurt by something she did I had to learn how to forgive and love her for for how God made her.

As the years past, I learned how to stay away from silly arguments that only led to quarrels.  I had to learn how to make healthy boundaries.  I learned how to NOT find happiness in met expectations, but in the reality of God’s plans.  We don’t get to choose who our parents are, nor do they get to choose who their children are.  I admit, there were times in my childhood into adulthood my relationship with my mother was strained at best.

Once I learned to embrace her mental illness was a gift from God in how he made her, I was able to be set free in having the loving relationship with her God intended for me.  She wasn’t responsible or in control of my emotions or feelings in how I responded, I was.  I didn’t have to constantly be afraid of being hurt over and over because I focused on God’s kingdom purpose for her–to be loved for who she was not in what she did.  

Mended will help any mother/daughter relationship gain the clarity it needs to take steps towards healing.  Blythe and Helen do a wonderful job in asking the right questions and equipping readers to gain a new perspective.  It’s not about the argument.  It’s not about being right.  And it’s certainly not about meeting YOUR EXPECTATIONS.  

When reality doesn't meet your expectations

Disappointment in our relationships happens when we have high expectations and the reality is no where near them.  Everything in between just becomes disappointment.

No relationship is beyond repair. Our relationships with our mothers are more valuable and important than our own agendas.Click To Tweet

I had to ask myself was my disappointment always going to be the focus and highest priority?  When God’s agenda becomes our agenda we are able to embrace his ways and plans in how to love one another in the most loving way possible and let go of our disappointments.

Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7Click To Tweet

Have you put an expectation on someone they can’t meet?

Maybe instead of expecting them to change, sit with God and ask How can I love this person today in the most loving way possible?  The pursuit of relationships sometimes don’t always turn out the way we want them nor should they cost us our sanity.

Giving God your struggles, trusting Him in guiding your relationships is the best way to start in mending each others hearts.  God will tell you when it’s time to set boundaries.  He will tell you when to speak and not speak.  And He’ll most definitely show you how to love.

God is never going to ask you to fill roles you were never intended to fill.  Your role is not to be the Savior.  It’s not to change the other person.  And it’s definitely not to enable.  Our roles in strained relationships are to let go of what we can’t control by surrendering it to God and trusting in what God is able to do with it.

God didn’t say the pursuit of healing and restoration would be without heartache.  But He does promise to hold our hands to get us through.

Are you willing to pursue mended relationships?

Learning how to love my mother in the way God made her was one of the hardest things I had to do, but the reward of the mended relationship was so worth anything I had to go through to get to the other side.  

God is with you my friend, he might ask us to step out of the boat like Peter to take his hand in the storm.  He might ask us to jump into the fiery furnace like Shadrack, Meschach and Abendago.  He might even ask us to spend the night with a bunch of hungry lions at the bottom of a dark pit.

Giving up on relationships is the easy way out and we miss out on God’s miracles.  When we stand firm in God’s promises, trusting to hold our hands to get us through we will never miss out on his miracles of what He is able to do.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers!  May your day be filled with God’s abundant blessings!

   Blythe Daniel & Helen McIntosh 

Blythe Daniel is a literary agent and marketer with 20 plus years of experience in publishing. She is a speaker at writer’s conferences and is interviewed for podcasts and webinars. She has written for Christian Retailing and Focus on the Family publications, and she links hundreds of bloggers with millions of readers through BlogAbout. Her passion is helping authors share their unique stories. The daughter of Dr. Helen McIntosh, she lives in Colorado with her husband and three children. www.theblythedanielagency.com

Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author of Messages to Myself and Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug®. Her work has appeared in Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children and five grandchildren. Learn more at our mended hearts. 

Mended is available now for purchase in all retail book stores.  Get your copy today just in time for Mother’s Day!  Click here to buy your copy today or enter a chance to win a free copy below.

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I would love to hear from you!  Leave Your Comments Below.  I pray we all pursue mended relationships that can only be healed and restored in Jesus.  ​In Him,

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Dear WIFE: An Invitation to Practice Connection

Dear Wife: An Invitation to Practice Connection

After years of marriage, we can go on auto-pilot. You pick up the dry cleaning, and I’ll pick up the kids. It is Taco Tuesday and church on Sunday, and one day you wake up and realize you have just been going through the motions. This happens to couples all the time. Their once hot and heavy romance turns into a situation where they are more like roommates than lovers. Or maybe your husband works long hours and you stay home with the kids. By the time he comes home, he is looking for love and all you want to do is collapse when it comes time for bed. There are millions of other possible scenarios, but the bottom line is God has SO MUCH more for our marriages. When Christ is the center of your life, the connection you have with Jesus overflows into every aspect of your life, including your marriage. When we walk in the fullness of Jesus it changes our hearts, our marriages and it changes us.

Enter Amanda Davison. Sometime last year Amanda had a big God-sized dream to help wives thrive in their marriage through community. Amanda formed the non-profit ministry A Wife Like Me and developed an online space to gather wives in community. She assembled a team of authors from across the country to help her implement the vision that God gave her to start a community and a movement of wives. Women who were committed to growing in relationship to Jesus and their husbands by practicing Biblical principles in their marriages. The A Wife Like Me team has written its first book in response to the needs of women through our gathering space and feedback from the blog.

Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband

We have a fantastic team of contributors at A Wife Like Me team who have come together to contribute monthly blog posts and provide Biblical resources for wives. We’ve had the best time coming together under Amanda’s leadership to dream, plan and pray how to best serve wives. And thus Dear Wife was born. Dear Wife is written by seventeen different contributors from the A Wife Like Me team. All the contributors who wrote this book are accomplished authors, speakers, and Christian leaders who have walked through fire in their marriages and have lived to tell about it.

Dear Wife Contributor Team

Dear Wife begins with a sweet invitation to draw near your Savior Jesus Christ and contains 26 invitations, with ten-minute practices, to grow in your connection with your husband by growing closer to Jesus. Each invitation includes scripture from the life of Jesus and a devotional application, and thought-provoking reflection questions to grow closer in connection to The Father and to your husband.

My two invitations in the book are the third invitation entitled What We Really Need and the final invitation Surrendered Service. 

Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband

Do you wish you had more alone time with your husband? Do you find yourself going through the day-to-day busy routine of life while your marriage is on cruise control, without intentional time together spent connecting? Do you desire deeper intimacy and love with your husband?

Being married is great, but being married and feeling intimately connected is what every wife desires.

Dear Wife provides you with twenty-six heart-changing invitations to discover how Christ desires connection with you and how through connection with Christ, you’ll develop deeper connection with your husband.

In this book, you will:
Replace boring and busy with building deep intimacy and love
Swap ongoing complacency with intentional connection
Spend guided alone time with your husband and God
Experience more depth in your marriage relationship
Restore and build connection with God and with your husband

Dear Wife is available for preorder now and releases 5/1. Dearwifebook.com #dearwifebook

Misty Phillip is passionate about helping women overcome challenges in life by seeking Jesus, studying the Word and growing in grace. She is the author of The Struggle is Real: But so is God Bible Study, Founder and host of the By His Grace Podcast, sought after speaker at MistyPhillip.com and contributor to both Dear Wife and to A Wife Like Me.

Website: MistyPhillip.com

Social Media Facebook , Instagram, Twitter


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I would love to hear from you!  Leave your comments below.  Have a Blessed Week! In Him, 

When Fear Surrounds Us

It’s almost a new year!  Many of us are excited to start a fresh new year.  Whatever the expectation the new year brings for you, it may bring many fears that can be overwhelming.

I recently had the opportunity to embark on a cruise with 29 of my family members and 5,000 other people cruising around the Caribbean sea.  This was my first Caribbean cruise.  I don’t know if cruising is your thing, but it made me uncomfortable knowing I was in the middle of the ocean with that many people. When I did the calculations, there are not enough boats for everyone if for some reason the ship sank.  Let’s just say it was unsettling for me.

Don’t know if you are one of those ‘What if’ people, I am typically not, however, I am married to one.  I usually don’t think about all the scenarios of ‘what if,’ but when you are surrounded by lots of people and water it makes your mind start going in that direction especially when you watch those movies where the ship sinks or people get eaten by sharks.

Ok, I promise I’ll stop.

But seriously have you ever been in that kind of life or death situation?  Like the scene in the Poseidon movie when Josh Lucas, Richard Dreyfus, and the young gal are debating whether they should stay in the room with the flooding water or go towards the vents which they didn’t know where they led fearing they might get stuck?  Everywhere they looked their options went from bad to worse.  If they stayed they would have drowned if they went forward they still may die, but it was their only option for a possible way out.

Maybe we haven’t been in a scenario as drastic as the Poseidon movie where our lives depended on it.  But we all have been in situations when we open our eyes and all we see is the fear that surrounds us.  It doesn’t matter which way we look it’s there and we can’t escape it.  I don’t know about you, but when I live in the ‘what if’ and look for the ‘bad’ things to happen, fear gets the best of me.  When my focus is on the fear, fear is all I see.

We may not like our situations. We may not choose them. But know it could always be worse. Click To Tweet

Maybe you are in a situation like the scene on the ship, if you stay you’ll drown but if you go forward, there is fear of the unknown of not knowing how it will all turn out.

When we let go of our fears and release them to God, we allow Him to take care of them instead of trying to control the situation ourselves.  He is our way out.  Our fears will always squash our hopes, our joy, and growth because we are trusting in what we see and not in what God is able to do.

The verse in Isaiah, I’m reminded of what God was able to accomplish through the Israelites when they trusted in Him.  They saw the enemy armies attacking, coming at them full force and God said, “The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still” (Exodus 14:14).  He then provided a way out for them when he parted The Red Sea when they trusted in Him.

I’m reminded what God did for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace when they stood up against Nebuchadnezzar.  They refused to take orders from the king and only would obey their one true king–God.  When they stood their ground, God protected them when they were thrown into the blazing furnace.  Not a hair on their body was singed nor did they smell like smoke.  God protected them in their obedience.

When we put our trust in God in what He is able to do and keep our eyes on Him we’ll be protected even when our fear surrounds us.

'I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken (Psalm 16:8).Click To Tweet

When Jesus lives in our hearts, we are not exempt from having fear or bad things from happening to us.  We are able to be protected from our troubling circumstances when we stand in His presence, focus on God’s power, trust in Him and obey.

Are you surrounded by fear?

Do you trust God with your fears?

Are you hoping to get rid of fear in the New Year?

This New Year, take a deep breath, close your eyes and focus on the One who is able to do the impossible.  Trust in Him.  Allow Him to lead you, He knows the way out.  You are loved, my friend!

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The Secret to Being Perfect

Summer is here. The sun is shining, kids are out of school, days are filled with relaxing, activities and hopefully vacations.  I love the things we learn from our seasons and vacations we go on.  There’s indigenous wildlife and landscapes we discover in the places we go.  One bird indigenous to Alaska I will never forget is the raven.

These birds live in parking lots and attack trash cans, devouring any food left on the ground. They live up to their name because they are ravenous scavengers that will eat anything. I’ve always wondered why these birds choose to stay during Alaskan winters. If I were a bird I would definitely use the wings God had gave me to fly to warmer temperatures. Even though ravens don’t migrate when the weather gets cold, I don’t think these Alaskan ravens could fly very far even if they had to. They are self-indulgent glutinous birds way too fat to fly anywhere. I have never seen ravens this big ever in my life. These birds may be sleek and shiny on the outside, but their selfish desires hold them captive in the tundra weather as a result.

These Ravens remind me of the Pharisees in the Bible.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” Matthew 23:25-26

The Pharisees had a tradition to engage in ceremonial washing of their body before eating, so nothing dirty would enter their bodies. However Jesus was pointing out, the Pharisees were missing the point. What was the point of physically cleaning the outside of their bodies if their hearts were filled with greed and self-indulgence? The Pharisees thought they were perfect because they followed the traditions of men. They were more concerned with keeping the tradition of ceremonial washings then keeping their hearts clean with the righteousness of God.

How true is this for our lives?

Am I like the Pharisee trying to maintain perfection on the outside but really full of un-righteousness on the inside?

I have been guilty of trying to maintain the facade that everything is perfect in my life on the outside by keeping a clean house, car, a perfectly manicured yard, obedient kids, a successful husband the list goes on. Maybe you can relate?

Have you tried to find value and worth through your circumstances like me? Have you tried to seek righteousness in your own works? Truth is I can have everything perfect and neatly organized on the outside but really am falling apart on the inside.

Where is the hope or freedom in my failures?

Is success in life really measured by my performance and how perfect I look from the outside?

There will be times my achievements fail. Times I don’t always get it right.  There will always be another room to clean in my house. There will always be a child’s behavior to correct. There may be times my husband and I don’t get along. There will always be that certain something that doesn’t go as planned.  Does that mean I only receive hope if my circumstances are going well in my life?

Perfectionism and keeping a bunch of rules will never make me righteous or bring me peace or freedomClick To Tweet

I am not perfect.  But I am made perfect in God. Through God’s eyes even when I fall short, He sees me as his perfect workmanship and makes up for my shortcomings (Romans 3:23).

He created and designed all of us with a purpose that is greater than our next performance.

The secret to being perfect isn’t in what we do ourselves with our own strength but in what God can do in us with His strength.Click To Tweet

God cares more about the condition of our hearts than how clean our houses are. His desire is for us to love him with all of our heart, all of our soul and all of our minds” (Matthew 22:37).

Jesus tells the Pharisees, “First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean” Matthew 23:26. He was trying to teach them you will always be held captive by selfish desires and trying to maintain perfectionism. We will always be set free in God’s truth and love for us.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

When I seek God for my righteousness and desires of my heart he shows me “I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; our souls knows it very well (Psalm 139:14). Righteousness does not come from ourselves or in anything we do, but from God himself.

“…not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—“ (Philippians 3:9).

Our hearts will always find peace in His presence and freedom in His truth.

The next time there are a pile of dishes in your sink, say to yourself, “Bless this mess, because I am made perfect in God!” Thankfully God cares more of how clean my heart is than my sink!

Have you ever met someone and thought wow they have it all together, to only find out they are shattered and broken on the inside?

You never know what someone is going through. Just because their life seems perfect on the inside doesn’t mean it’s true.  Thankfully we have all been saved by his grace.  His grace and purpose are always greater.

“He has saved us and called us to holy life–not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.  This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.”  2 Timothy 1:9

Can you relate to the Pharisees?

Do you allow circumstances to enslave you and determine your happiness?

Have you been victim to performance and perfectionism?

How has God’s truth set you free?

Our circumstances will always change.  God’s truth is eternal and everlasting!  There is hope when we seek our truth and identity in God. You are perfectly perfect in who God says you are. He created you and never makes mistakes. You are perfect!

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The Power of An Invitation

I will never forget the first time I attended my first Bible study in 2012.  I had been a Christian my whole life, went to church, read the Bible, but never attended a formal Bible study.  I could name a million reasons why I didn’t attend before then;  busy with motherhood, I worked during the week, I had to take care of the house, etc.  It’s funny how God has a way to always point you in the right direction.

I was at a point in my relationship with God where I knew He wanted me to take the next step towards a deeper relationship with him;  but I didn’t know how.  One day I was standing in the preschool parking lot talking with a friend, pouring out my heart to her.  I had just started to attend the same church as her.  As she was listening to me, she had opened the door to something bigger than I could have ever imagined.  She invited me to a Women’s Bible Study at the new  church I was attending.  I immediately accepted the invitation.  I was excited, because I knew God had used her that day not only to invite me, but to point me in the right direction towards what He had desired for me.

The day I stepped foot into my first Bible Study, I was hooked and I never looked back.  Once I started, I couldn’t get enough.  I wanted more.  Her  invitation to Bible study changed my life.  I never knew how much I was missing until I entered into God’s presence, opened up the Scriptures and allowed God’s truth into my heart.  My friend was faithful in listening to God, to invite me that day.  I only had to enter through the open door, God did the rest.

 

God used my friend in a big way that day.  I am so glad she listened to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to invite me that day.  Her invitation changed my life.  God’s words are what transforms our hearts, nourishes our souls, and gives life to our spirits.  God’s love is not meant to be hidden, but shared with everyone.

Just imagine if the three wise men never accepted God’s invitation to see the birth of baby Jesus.  They would have missed out on seeing the birth of their king.

Just imagine if Paul didn’t accept God’s invitation that day on the road to Damascus when he was blinded by the light.  We would have never seen God’s ability to  transform Paul’s heart, from someone who persecuted Christians to someone who risked His life to save them.

Imagine if the Disciples and the Apostles never accepted God’s invitation to become followers of Christ.  We would have missed out on the greatest message ever told. We would have never seen God’s ability through the Holy Spirit to grow the church.

We are merely vessels God uses to carry out His greater plan.  We are all apart of God’s great amazing story of the gospel.  If we never shared it with anyone, imagine how many  people miss out on the beautiful message of the gospel.

The worse thing a person can say is ‘No.’  God will continue to pursue their hearts.  You only need to be faithful in prayer of how God can use you.  

There will always be 101 things keeping us away from studying the Bible.  Not one of those reasons are ever good enough to keep us away from spending time with God.  When we give God the time He has given us, He will provide all the time we need to get everything else accomplished that He desires for us.

Have you been prompted to invite someone to church or Bible study?  You never know how God will use you to impact the life of someone else.  Your invitation might be the very thing a person needs to take their next step.

Have you ever accepted an invitation that changed your life?

How has Bible Study impacted your life?  

To learn more about why studying the Bible is so important Click Here.

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This post was first published on www.akchristianwomensministry.com.


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