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3 Ways to Meet People In Their Anxiety

Have you ever tried to view and hear the perspective of another person who was different than you?  Someone who had a different background, different beliefs, different upbringing, lived in a different country, different opinion or point of view?  What was your response?  How did the conversation go?  Was there defensiveness? Anxiety?  An argument?  Or were you able to listen to their perspective and validate their experience?

If there is one thing this pandemic brought out in all of us, it was--where is our hope, where are we putting our trust, and revealed anxieties we probably never thought about before. Click To Tweet

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23

Going through this pandemic brought up a lot abnormal circumstances that were thrown at us all at once.  We all had to wear masks, quarantine, home school our kids, shelter in place, worry about our jobs, businesses, our economy, the health and well-being of loved ones, pause life celebrations such as weddings, graduations, and funerals.  There was stress of finances, how will we pay our bills, childcare, not being able to be with loved ones in the hospital, and loss of loved ones.  There was fear of the unknown, how will this all turn out, how many more people will die, and when will this all end?

There was a high level of anxiety and stress from everything we went through.  And we all dealt with the anxieties of the pandemic differently.  Hopefully, we all came out of the pandemic and still are, a little bit stronger and with a new perspective of what’s difficult.  But what about those who were barely surviving before the pandemic hit?  Those who didn’t know where their next meal came from, didn’t have access to computers for education, or access to healthcare if they got sick?  I hope in all this, the pandemic helped us see and hear others and learn how we can meet people in their anxieties.

3 Ways To Meet People In Their Anxiety

 1.  Listen-  If there is one thing the pandemic taught me how to do better is listen. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” (James 1:19).  We all have the core need to be seen and heard.  We are missing out when we don’t listen to our brothers and sisters in their hurt and pain.  When Jesus was here on earth he offered a listening ear to hear people in their suffering like the woman at the well, or the paralyzed man.  He didn’t just say I’m sorry and keep on walking.  He didn’t give lectures or provide ways to temporarily fix it.  He stopped, listened and said, ‘Come follow me.’  There is power in listening.  It allows others to know I hear you, and you matter.

2.  Acknowledge-  Learning how to acknowledge others when they are struggling, to be able to come alongside them and say I see you in your hurt, is so powerful.  “He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”  (1 Corinthians 1:4).  To acknowledge someone when they are hopeless offers empathy and is what Jesus does for us.  Acknowledgement allows their struggle to be known, lets them know you see them, and they matter.  An example would be, “I see you are hurting, there are no words, I’m so sorry.”

3.  Validate-   How lonely would it be it we suffered in silence or by ourselves?  Jesus never intended for us to be alone in our anxieties.  He tells us to cast all of our anxieties on him, because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).  “God will perfect everything that concerns you.” (Psalm 138:8).  When we tell our concerns and worries to God, they matter to Him.  Why?  Because whatever concerns us and matters to us, concerns and matters to God.  When David wrote in Psalms 56:8, “You have kept count of my tossings;  put my tears in your bottle,”  we know that God cares, he sees, and hears our cries, they matter to Him.  To validate someone, means you support them and value their feelings, it lets them know “I am here for you,”  when you validate them.

'When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.' Matthew 14:14. Click To Tweet

There will always be worry and anxiety in this world.  God tells us in James 5:13-14, if “anyone among you is suffering, let him pray.  Is anyone cheerful?  Let him sing praise.  Is anyone among you sick?  Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him….” We can model what Jesus does for us by opening our eyes and ears to the hurting and suffering and see what matters to Jesus, should matter to us as well.

Jesus didn’t walk away from the sick and the hurting, he met them in their anxieties by either coming alongside of them or healing them.  Because of Jesus’ compassion and God’s love many have been healed and saved.

Have you considered how you can meet someone in their anxiety?

What can you do to let them know God cares for them, he sees and loves them?

When anxiety gets the best of me, I have to refer back to what God is able to do, stay in prayer and trust He is able.

For the month of April, in honor of our son Bowen’s life we are encouraging others to consider sponsoring a child to not only help honor our son’s life, but to show others who are hurting and living in poverty, they matter.  Sponsoring a child is not only life-giving to them, but to you as well, when you give them an opportunity to an education and food.  It also helps open our eyes to see how someone else lives in another country and see life from their perspective.  It helps us move beyond the boundaries of our anxieties and steps into their world to meet them in theirs.  My anxiety is put into perspective when I see what I am concerned about is nothing compared to what others have to go through everyday.

If you were inspired by our son’s story or this post, Click on the link below and meet your future sponsor child!  You will be blessed!

Want to show more compassion? Consider sponsoring a child to help end poverty.

Sponsor a Child in Jesus Name with Compassion


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The Clothes We Wear

I’m always so amazed when I’m in my closet looking for an outfit when I pass by something I’ve worn before at an event in my life, I’m taken back to that day.

When my eyes set on my wedding gown that’s preserved in a box in my closet, I’m taken back to my wedding day.

When I browse by an ugly sweater I wore to a Christmas party I’m taken back to that day.

When I peruse past a certain dress, I’m taken back to the day of the funeral, the ball, the function I attended.

Why is it every shirt, pair of shoes or dress I wear just by looking at the outfit I’ve worn before, my mind takes me back to that memory of the day of the clothes I’ve worn.

Yet when I put on those clothes I am branded with the memory or feeling associated with those clothes.

My memory is my memory regardless of the clothes I wore, yet I identify myself with them.

The clothes I wore don’t define me.Click To Tweet

The clothes I wear don’t make me who I am.

The clothes I wear don’t make me more important.

They don’t give me more value.

They don’t prove anything.

They are just mere clothes I wear.

So how do I rid myself of these associations?

By putting on a new wardrobe.

Colossians 3:10 MSG, “10 Now you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete.”

Paul is telling the Colossians they don’t have to focus on past labels or the old fashions of life. He was teaching them when their focus was on their Creator, on what He had done for them, they were putting on a new wardrobe, a new self one that was free from their past.

Colossians 3:12 MSG

12 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline.

We have been chosen to live out a life of love and not bound to the mistakes of our past or ugly cycles of defeat. When we clothe ourselves with the loving kindness compassion of Christ we are putting on a new wardrobe, a new self.

So maybe the clothes I wear do define me?

The worldly clothes I wear don’t define me, but the clothing of Christ does.

I love the way Paul teaches because he uses analogies we all can relate to of physical, worldly things and translates them into the spiritual. He even tells the Colossians in (Col. 3:8 MSG), “Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you’ve stripped off and put in the fire.”

We don’t have to revert back to old ways, we don’t have to keep putting on that old wardrobe that keeps us cuddled up to our sins. We can take them off and throw them away for good never returning back to them because of the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Do you have the one stand out garment in your closet, the go-to garment you put it on and everyone recognizes its unique and different?

Paul gives further instructions and tells us about stand out garments.

“13 Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. 14 And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it”. (Colossians 3:13-14 MSG).

No matter what wear love. That is our go to, must have garment.Click To Tweet

When we put on love we are able to be kind, compassionate, humble, and forgive. We are able to leave behind the past allow ourselves to walk into the future filled with hope and freedom.

When we put on love we will be filled with God’s strength and discipline. We don’t have to try with our own strength when we put on love we are free from our sinful tendencies.

When we put away our bad tempers, irritability, meanness, profanity, and dirty talk, and put on love, others in the world will notice and recognize the love and compassion of Christ. And “When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too – the real you, the glorious you” (Colossians 3:4 MSG).

What kind of clothes do you wear?

What’s in your wardrobe?

A Prayer- Lord Jesus, help us get rid of anything keeping us in the past, keeping us from you. Help us get rid of our old worldly wardrobes and clothe ourselves with your kindness, humility, strength, discipline and above all else your love, God. I pray we will choose to wear love every day. May it be apart of our everyday lives, our everyday speech and actions. May love be our choice and response above all things, Lord. Help us put on a new wardrobe, one that you have created, never to put on our old wardrobe again. We thank you and praise you Jesus for who you are and what you are able to do. We love you. In Jesus name, Amen.

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Confessions of a Skinny Girl

How was your Thanksgiving?  Most of us are probably not feeling too skinny right now after eating tons of turkey, pie, mashed potatoes or whatever thanksgiving goodness we piled on our plates.  And then there were the pies!  Of course we have to try them all!

I am known as the skinny girl.  The one who has skinny arms, legs and non-existent hips. When people meet me,  I know what they are thinking….  That skinny girl looks like she has it altogether.

What struggles could she possibly have? 

Don’t be fooled by this small petite frame that there aren’t deep struggles that lie beneath.  Just because outwardly I’m small, doesn’t mean that inwardly my struggles aren’t big.

Truth is, this skinny girl ate way too much turkey and pie at Thanksgiving, that I can barely button my pants! If I could, I would eat a whole plate of fried pickles if my body wouldn’t hate me later.  I love chocolate cake—lots of it.  

Oh how I have flaws. I’ve wasted years of my life wishing I was taller, wishing this scraggly body looked like the voluptuous woman on the front cover of magazines. I have learned the hard way, in my indulgence and lack of self-discipline there are great consequences that lead to more emptiness and destruction.

Then I fall at the feet of Jesus and confess to Him all my flaws, my ugliness and mistakes.  He then says, “Dear child you will never find your self-worth and acceptance in this world, only in me.”  

I chose you before I gave you life, and before you were born I selected you to be a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5 GNT).

He first chose me.  He knew me before I was even born.  

Only in the arms of God’s grace will my flaws and shortcomings be accepted.  

Only in the boundaries of God’s love will I find my worth—not in the size of my waist, otherwise I wouldn’t be worth very much.   

On the days I feel l have failed either as a wife or a parent, I am thankful my worth isn’t measured by my performance.

If I wait until I look a certain way, I miss out on the freedom God desires for me.

And thank God my value isn’t weighed by how clean my house is, otherwise I would be bankrupt.  

As years have gone by, I’ve to learn to accept God’s will and design for me.  God did not design this 5’ 3’’ petite frame to be on the basketball team.  His plan isn’t for me to be something I’m not.  I have a choice—keep trying to live up to worldly standards in who this world says I should be, or accept and live in God’s design for me.  Only one of them offers a life that is forgiving and filled with grace.   

When people meet me, they look at me and say I used to be a lot skinnier.  Our value and worth will never be found in our comparisons of each other.  We can break the chains of comparison by walking away from the lies of the enemy.

God made us exactly who we are for a specific reason and purpose all for His glory, not ours.

It doesn’t matter what size we are.  We are loved by Jesus who loved us first. (1 John 4:19)

In our flaws God sees our BEAUTY. (Ezekiel 27:3)

In our shortcomings God sees His PERFECT PLAN. (Jeremiah 29:11)  

In our weaknesses, God’s POWER is perfected. 

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness ” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me”  (2 Corinthians 12:9).  

In our messiness, God’s love sees us as blameless (2 Peter 3:14).

These three truths will always set us free.  

You are loved.

You are accepted.

You’re value is immeasurable in the eyes of God.  

You’re life has meaning and purpose.  If God didn’t deem your life as worthy, He would have never sent Jesus.  You were worth dying for.  

By His grace we have been saved.  

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God”  (Ephesians 2:9).

Thank you Jesus, for loving me just the way I am!  You are loved my friend! 

What truths has God showed you?

Do you know how valuable you are in the eyes of God?  

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The Victory of Your Worth

On one of our family vacations this summer we went to a fishing town in Alaska.  It was a rainy day and I was out walking our dog.  She was a brand new edition to our family of four.  She’s was a super adorable labradoodle puppy and at the time was only 4 months old.  As I was walking, I passed a gentleman who at first glance looked tattered and worn, (in fact he may have been homeless), says to me, “That’s a very nice looking dog you have there, she’s a little raggedy, but a nice looking dog.”  Don’t you love when people give you a roundabout compliment?  The comment struck me as funny because of the same raggedy appearance the man had himself!?!?!

I’ll admit, her wet fur did make her appear ‘a little raggedy,’ BUT if the man even knew how much value she added to our family and the price we paid for her, he would not have described her as raggedy!

But that’s just it.  This story describes many of us.  You may be tattered, worn and a little raggedy, but do you know how valuable you are?  Or do you know the price that was paid for you?  How much more valuable is something when you know the value of it?

It doesn’t matter how torn, tattered or ragged you are, your worth and value is not determined by external appearances.  Our value and worth are not measured by what color hair or eyes we have, not how tall we are, or even how much we weigh.  Our worth is determined by the blood of Jesus who paid the price for us.  What do you see when you look in the mirror?  Someone who has more value and worth than all the rubies and diamonds in the world or …….?  Truth is there is no amount of money that can pay the price for your life because it is priceless and beyond valuable.  This world can never pay a high enough price for the worth of your life.

Your life, your value, your worth, is priceless in the eyes of God. Click To Tweet

You don’t have to find your value in the acceptance and approval in what the world says about you (Rom. 12:2).  The world constantly changes its definition of what makes you valuable and worthy.  There will never be an end to keeping up with what they say makes you worthy.  The good news is God loves you just the way you are and would never have sent Jesus if he didn’t think you were worth it.  God sent Jesus for everyone.

There is victory when you live in who God says you are.Click To Tweet

You don’t have to try to fit into a mold of who the world says you should be.  God wants you to be who you are, how he created you to be, not try to be something your not.

Ephesians 2:8-9
“For it is by grace you have been saved through faith- and not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast.”

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