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MENDED: A Book Review and GIVEAWAY!

Mended: A Book Review and Giveaway!

One of the most important relationships you can have is with your mother.

 

Mother’s Day can be a mixed bag of emotions for many.  Many celebrate Mother’s Day without their mother, or who have a strained relationship with their mom, and some can’t talk to their mothers at all because they’ve passed away.  Whatever the circumstance, Mother’s Day can bring joy and/or pain.

Today I have the opportunity to share with you the new book Mended:  Restoring the hearts of Mothers and Daughters by Blythe Daniels and Helen McIntosh.

A moment of honesty–I was a little afraid to read this book, in fear it would conjure up unwanted emotions and pains of the past.  

As a child I grew up in a divorced home and had the blessing of having two mothers.  My step-mom from the start treated my twin sister and I as her very own.  Of course there are ups and downs in any relationship but the love we had for each other grew over the years into something greater–a mother/daughter relationship.

My relationship with my (biological) mother was different.  I didn’t understand much about mental illness as a child and didn’t understand why my mother acted certain ways.  As I grew into adulthood I had to learn how to separate the person from the mental illness.  When I was hurt by something she did I had to learn how to forgive and love her for for how God made her.

As the years past, I learned how to stay away from silly arguments that only led to quarrels.  I had to learn how to make healthy boundaries.  I learned how to NOT find happiness in met expectations, but in the reality of God’s plans.  We don’t get to choose who our parents are, nor do they get to choose who their children are.  I admit, there were times in my childhood into adulthood my relationship with my mother was strained at best.

Once I learned to embrace her mental illness was a gift from God in how he made her, I was able to be set free in having the loving relationship with her God intended for me.  She wasn’t responsible or in control of my emotions or feelings in how I responded, I was.  I didn’t have to constantly be afraid of being hurt over and over because I focused on God’s kingdom purpose for her–to be loved for who she was not in what she did.  

Mended will help any mother/daughter relationship gain the clarity it needs to take steps towards healing.  Blythe and Helen do a wonderful job in asking the right questions and equipping readers to gain a new perspective.  It’s not about the argument.  It’s not about being right.  And it’s certainly not about meeting YOUR EXPECTATIONS.  

When reality doesn't meet your expectations

Disappointment in our relationships happens when we have high expectations and the reality is no where near them.  Everything in between just becomes disappointment.

No relationship is beyond repair. Our relationships with our mothers are more valuable and important than our own agendas.Click To Tweet

I had to ask myself was my disappointment always going to be the focus and highest priority?  When God’s agenda becomes our agenda we are able to embrace his ways and plans in how to love one another in the most loving way possible and let go of our disappointments.

Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7Click To Tweet

Have you put an expectation on someone they can’t meet?

Maybe instead of expecting them to change, sit with God and ask How can I love this person today in the most loving way possible?  The pursuit of relationships sometimes don’t always turn out the way we want them nor should they cost us our sanity.

Giving God your struggles, trusting Him in guiding your relationships is the best way to start in mending each others hearts.  God will tell you when it’s time to set boundaries.  He will tell you when to speak and not speak.  And He’ll most definitely show you how to love.

God is never going to ask you to fill roles you were never intended to fill.  Your role is not to be the Savior.  It’s not to change the other person.  And it’s definitely not to enable.  Our roles in strained relationships are to let go of what we can’t control by surrendering it to God and trusting in what God is able to do with it.

God didn’t say the pursuit of healing and restoration would be without heartache.  But He does promise to hold our hands to get us through.

Are you willing to pursue mended relationships?

Learning how to love my mother in the way God made her was one of the hardest things I had to do, but the reward of the mended relationship was so worth anything I had to go through to get to the other side.  

God is with you my friend, he might ask us to step out of the boat like Peter to take his hand in the storm.  He might ask us to jump into the fiery furnace like Shadrack, Meschach and Abendago.  He might even ask us to spend the night with a bunch of hungry lions at the bottom of a dark pit.

Giving up on relationships is the easy way out and we miss out on God’s miracles.  When we stand firm in God’s promises, trusting to hold our hands to get us through we will never miss out on his miracles of what He is able to do.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers!  May your day be filled with God’s abundant blessings!

   Blythe Daniel & Helen McIntosh 

Blythe Daniel is a literary agent and marketer with 20 plus years of experience in publishing. She is a speaker at writer’s conferences and is interviewed for podcasts and webinars. She has written for Christian Retailing and Focus on the Family publications, and she links hundreds of bloggers with millions of readers through BlogAbout. Her passion is helping authors share their unique stories. The daughter of Dr. Helen McIntosh, she lives in Colorado with her husband and three children. www.theblythedanielagency.com

Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author of Messages to Myself and Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug®. Her work has appeared in Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children and five grandchildren. Learn more at our mended hearts. 

Mended is available now for purchase in all retail book stores.  Get your copy today just in time for Mother’s Day!  Click here to buy your copy today or enter a chance to win a free copy below.

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I would love to hear from you!  Leave Your Comments Below.  I pray we all pursue mended relationships that can only be healed and restored in Jesus.  ​In Him,

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Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom

This week will conclude our series on confessions.  I hope this series has filled you with God’s truth.  We can walk away from our comparisons of each other and rejoice in God’s truth for us in who He says we are.  We don’t have to wait to be accepted by the world or for our circumstances to change, we are worthy and valuable just the way we are.  He has a divine and specific purpose for each and every one of us.        

Whether we are called to be married, single, a working mom or a stay at home mom there is meaning a purpose in God’s calling for us.  Here is an interview of a stay at home mom who shares her heart with us.

How did you decide being a stay at home mom was God’s calling for you? Children are God’s greatest gift to us, their hearts are a mother’s classroom.  Investing in our children reaps rewards that are immeasurable.

What is the number one thing being a stay at home mom has taught you?
Being a stay at home mom is a constant dying of oneself.  It is a continual process of learning how to be selfless, learning how to be content no matter what and knowing I am still contributing to society even though I am inside the four walls of my home.  Also learning how to find joy in every moment, the good and the bad. God teaches me through thankfulness. When we are thankful, then we are more likely to find joy in each moment, which is what God wants for us.

What is the number one thing you struggle with as a stay at home mom?
Isolation and not getting a break.  Isolation can be the tool of the devil.  It can be a downward spiral that gets out of control quickly.  When I start to feel this way I know I need to pray and seek support of other moms who are going through the same thing.  I try to be proactive in recognizing triggers which amplify my struggles such as getting out of routine (holidays), bad behavior or sickness.

What did you do before you were a stay at home mom and how many years have you been a stay at home mom?  How many children do you have?
I used to work as an Early Intervention Speech Pathologist for five years before raising children.  I have been a stay at home mom now for 9 years.  I have 5 children, four boys (ages 2, 3, 7 and 9) and one baby girl.

That’s very admiral, you possess a master’s degree and walked away from a career to raise children.  What is the best advice you can give to other stay at home moms?
Do the best you can with the knowledge you have now.  The knowledge you have in the moment is enough to accomplish what God has planned for you.  God has entrusted you with their lives, he has put your children in your care for a reason.  God will continually equip you with what you need at every given time.  He has chosen your family and has great plans for you and made each of us with a purpose.  You don’t have to do something that is newsworthy or career savy to contribute to society.  What you do inside of your home, is just as important as what you do outside of your home.  We can support each other by not comparing and encouraging one another.

What is your greatest reward you have received as a stay at home mom?
God has called me to equip the next generation of warriors in his army with His armor, character, love, and grace. I can only do this when I lean on God for wisdom and peace and in humbleness, admiting I CANNOT do it alone. As mom’s we often fall into the trap of “I just need to keep going”. That is a red flag for I need a break, need help, or need to let go. God provides us with help in the form of His word, friends, family, spouses. Seek counsel of other women and pray hard!

What do you do as a stay at home to get a break?  I try to leave the house to get a break or escape to my craft room and work on a craft project.  Sometimes the only break I get is going to a private room or outside to pray. Finding a positive outlet for feelings helps as well as leaning on God for His strength. Be proactive in communicating with spouse and children in calm, respectful way to express a need for breaks. Because if mama isn’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. It is a sad but true statement. Taking care of oneself will help the entire household–do so without feeling guilty.

What are your favorite Bible verses that help you?

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

“Encourage one another build one another up”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

“In all work you are doing, work the best you can.  Work as if you were doing it for the Lord, not for people”  (Colossians 3:23).

“Do everything in Love”  (1 Corinthians 16:14).

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer”  (Romans 12:9-12).

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”  (Matthew 11:28).

Being a stay at home mom is a busy 24/7 job that rarely gets recognized as being a job.  Whether we are a working mom or one that stays at home, instead of judging or comparing ourselves and each other’s children, we can all be encouraging one another, because we are all apart of the same team (quote from Cindy Bultema)!

God has called every one of us for a specific meaning a purpose.  Carrying out God’s calling for you, gives your life more meaning and purpose than anything in this world.  

God has great plans for you.

Do you know God’s calling for your life?

What has God called you to do?

If you are a stay at home mom please share how being a stay at home mom has impacted your life, So we can be encouraging one another!

A special thank you to my twin sister for sharing her heart with us for this post!  

If you like this blogpost, Please share with others!  Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox?  Subscribe to my blog and receive a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts. 

I would love to hear from you!  Please Leave Your Comments Below.  Have a Blessed Week!


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