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3 Ways to Have More Joy in 2020

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“The best news in the world is that there is no conflict between your greatest possible happiness and God’s perfect holiness. Being satisfied with all that God is for you in Jesus magnifies him as the greatest treasure and brings you more joy—eternal, infinite joy—than any other delight ever could.”  John Piper

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s holiday.  I’ve taken a few weeks off from writing and it’s been nice.  We all could use breaks and rest to be able to recharge and be refreshed.  How has your new year been shaping up?  Have you set goals, made resolutions?  Whatever your aspirations are I pray they are blessed beyond measure and filled with joy.

I’ve been reading a YouVersion Bible Reading Plan by John Piper called 15 Days in the Word with John Piper.

He talks about the secret of invincible joy and how our greatest rewards are in Jesus.  This message is something I’ve heard before, but never had I heard joy described as rescued.  Nothing can destroy or take away our joy, even in our suffering when it’s anchored in Jesus.  It is possible to keep our joy protected and safe even in the most painful of times when heaven is the reward.

'Great is your reward in heaven. And the sum of that reward is enjoying the fullness of the glory of Jesus Christ' quote John Piper (paraphrased John 17:24).Click To Tweet

Our greatest fulfillment will always come from what God can provide.  Nothing in this world could ever compete or compare to the eternal joy in which only God provides.

3 Ways to Have More Joy in 2020

1.  Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes and not beat yourself up over them.  To all the perfectionists out there write this down on a notecard and put it somewhere you can see it.  Say this to yourself everyday until this sinks in.  If there is one thing I struggle with, it’s being gentle with myself when I don’t make good choices.  I have a constant message in my head on repeat on how I could have done things better.

Thank goodness for God’s grace.  His grace was never meant to be abused to continue with bad behavior over and over but to help refine us and mold us through Him, not ourselves.  Joy will always be found in what God does in us.  Our mistakes don’t make us bad, they make us human.  God can do so much more with our mistakes when we surrender them to Him, then we could ever do ourselves.

2. Learn how to be emotionally honest with yourself.  Let’s face it, if we struggle with the ability to give ourselves grace when we mess up, we probably struggle with being realistic with our emotions.  Our emotions and mistakes don’t define us but what we do with them matters.  If we’re being honest with ourselves we’re able to own our own stuff and not constantly use blame or criticism to take the focus off ourselves.

Are you critical and judgmental of others?  Do you like to point out others mistakes in front of others?  Do you create chaos?  Looking within ourselves we might  discover when we’re critical of others we’re probably critical of ourselves.  Pointing out others’ flaws, doesn’t make your flaws as bad and then you don’t have to focus on yourself.  When you point out others mistakes, you probably aren’t secure with yourself and when other’s mistakes are magnified, no one is looking at your messes.  When patterns of chaos are created, then you don’t have to deal with your own problems when chaos is around.  If you want to have more joy in 2020, learn how to be emotionally honest, it’s the best gift you can give yourself.   Emotional honesty allows us to be emotionally available for others which is very enriching for relationships.

3.  Learn how to ‘BE’ instead of always doing.  Girl, if there’s one thing I could write to my younger self this would be it.  I’m ashamed to say how much of my energy has been wrapped up in doing, performing, and achieving.   Again if my focus was on the accomplishment I didn’t have to focus on myself.  Somehow my identity got tethered to these things and life became about doing.  God didn’t make human doings, he created human beings.  We were created ‘to be.’    We can be free in how God made us when we learn how to be.

We don’t always have to be the solution to every problem, the rescuer or savior (roles that were never meant for us in the first place).  Learning to be, means learning how to have balance when there are problems in your life.  Being means learning how to have more empathy for others when they are going through hard times.  Learning empathy allows for more compassion to be in our lives.  God wants us to learn how to BE love not DO love.  When we do, we put our own efforts into it and bypass God.  When we be, we allow God to work through and within us so His love overflows not the other way around.

Do you struggle with giving yourself grace when you make mistakes?

Are you able to be emotionally honest with yourself?

Do you struggle with being instead of doing?

Me too.  You’re not alone.  I struggle with every single one.  This is the beauty in our journey when we EMBRACE THE PROCESS.  It’s not about being perfect, getting it right all the time, it’s about learning to be well and allowing God to use EVERYTHING in His time.

How about you?  Do you desire to have more joy in 2020?  I do.  Learning to trust in the process God has put forth will always allow for His abundant joy to fill us, satisfy and complete us more than we could ever imagine.

Are you able to receive God's joy in your life?Click To Tweet

How can you have more joy in 2020?

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I will be taking a little break from blogging to be able to work on a project that God has been pressing on my heart.  In order to be obedient to what God has for me, I need to be realistic with my time.  I may post a new post from time to time, but it won’t be weekly.  I will keep you posted on what I’m doing and thank you all who read and subscribe to the posts, it means so much to me.  I am grateful.

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Other articles you may like:

The Joy of Less: Becoming More With Less

Why Do We Struggle with Being Authentic?

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Have you ever struggled with being honest with yourself?  And wondered why is it so hard for me to be vulnerable and real?  Chances are you are not alone.  Many of us struggle with showing the world our real selves (me included) for fear of being criticized or judged.  For fear of not being liked or even outcasted from circles of friends.

If you work in any kind of team setting chances are you’ve already taken a Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, or HSP personality test to determine where you fall in the spectrum of being a team player or coachable.  How we perceive and receive information is vital in how we respond and grow.

Knowing who we are helps us to be the truest version of ourselves and not try to be something we’re not.  Most recently I’ve taken the Myer-Briggs test and discovered I’m an ENFJ which means I’m an extrovert, I’m intuitive, I process things through feelings and I have good judgement.

I actually scored very low on the extrovert making me closer to an introvert than I realized.  I get recharged by retreating to a quiet place by myself instead of throwing myself into a big crowd of people.

On the Enneagram I’m a 1 with a 2 wing.  And on the Highly Sensitive Person test I scored a 13, meaning a process information at a higher degree of emotion than others.

To not know who you really are, is a lonely place to be.  Chances are if there is a struggle in your life, maybe your struggle isn’t about what you’re really struggling with but a deeper conflict of denying your own self in how God made you.

Why Do We Struggle With Being Authentic?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of authentic is:  true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.

Ask yourself these questions.

Do you allow others to see your real self?  Do you allow them to see not just the good parts about you, but the broken pieces, flaws and everything in between?

Are you a ‘doer’?  Meaning do you play the role of a ‘fixer’ and try to ‘do’ compassion for others by doing things for them, or can you just ‘be’ compassion for a friend?

Are you a chameleon and try to blend in a crowd (depending who’s there) or do you let your real personality come through no matter what situation you’re in?

Do you allow anyone to see your emotions when you’re happy, sad, frustrated or annoyed?  Or do you only share emotions with certain people you consider safe?

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions.  They are merely to probe a deeper response to ‘why’ do we do what we do?

Chances are many of us are afraid to show our real selves for fear of not being accepted or wanted by anyone.Click To Tweet

Sadly I think many of us adapt our personalities depending on our situations, to conform to the worldly ‘normal’ of what’s acceptable.  We deny who we are at the cost of fitting in.

We struggle with being authentic because……….

We don’t give ourselves the liberty to be honest and real.  When are busy being busy, we’re not able to sit and peel back the layers of what really lies beneath.  When we do we’ll be surprised to find there is a lot of good stuff under all those layers!  There is nothing under those layers God can’t mend!

We become human ‘doers’ instead human ‘beings.’  When we ‘do’ love instead of ‘being’ love, we become the rescuers and Saviors, two roles that are meant for Jesus, not us.  When we become love, we become a vessel for God’s love showing others the love that could only come from Jesus.

We hide our brokenness, keep our flaws hidden.  When we protect our flaws from being seen and not allow them to be brought into the light, we deny the essence of who we are, broken.  I’m not saying stand on a stage with a megaphone and shout to the world all of of your ugly secrets.  What I am saying is exercise wisdom by having people of accountability in your life that can help be a voice of wisdom.  Someone you can share your junk with who can pray for you and keep you straight.

To hide our brokenness is to hide Jesus.

Jesus didn’t come to die on the cross in secret.  He died on the cross for all the world to see to let them know salvation is a FREE gift for EVERYONE.  

To deny our brokenness is to deny Jesus.

We can never be authentic or live in God’s original design in our lives when we aren’t able to be honest with ourselves.

Do you know your TRUE self?

Do you feel like you have the FREEDOM to live how God created you?  Why or Why not?

Do you struggle with being authentic?

How can you be more authentic today?

If you struggle with being who you are, try taking a personality test.  Try writing a letter to yourself, telling yourself it’s okay to be you.  Write down your personality traits.  Which ones do you allow others to see?  Which ones do you hide and ask why do you hide these traits?

Or find an accountability partner, a wise mentor, or a life coach to help in your journey in getting back to your TRUE self.  Start journaling and seeking God in prayer of what He desires for you.

When we deny who we are in how God made us we are missing out on God's original design and purpose in our lives. Click To Tweet

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:12

Praise God, when we embrace God’s purpose for us, we will always be able to live in our most authentic selves.

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Why It’s Important To Pursue Life With Grit

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This is why it's important to pursue life with grit

Have you ever met a person who has been through the unimaginable yet has an unbreakable spirit?

Why do some people merely survive and some thrive when put in the same circumstance?  It’s the same reason why boiling water has the ability to soften a potato or harden an egg, the circumstances are the same but the properties are different.

What is Grit? and Why it Grit Important to Have in our Lives?

Grit-  means to have courage and resolve; strength of character. 

But really there is so much more to grit.  There are characteristics of those who choose to live a life with grit.  Living life with grit, requires a motivated spirit, intention, and discipline.

There have been times in my life when my courage has been dismantled, my confidence dwindled to broken pieces–Why?  Because I clung to the disparity between my circumstances and what God was able to do. I focused on MY weakness and allowed fear to hold me back instead of allowing my weakness to be a platform for God’s STRENGTH.

When I say Live Life with Grit, I must remind myself DAILY to live and practice them EVERYDAY.

3 Ways to Live Life with Grit

Embrace The Process.

God doesn’t guarantee us a life without battles, but shows us a way to find rest amongst our enemies when we sit at the table he has already prepared for us (Psalm 23).  When we rest in HIS POWER and abilities of what He’s able to accomplish, we witness His glorious plans unfold within us.

I think we sell ourselves short in our culture and next generation.  We have become a very self-serving, un-empathetic culture that disregards authority and looks within ourselves for our own moral compass.  Probably because dopamine supplies in our brains are depleted from every temporary reward of self-gratification everything instant, fast, and convenient.

There are rewards in persevering, enduring, pushing through the battle.  Rewards in sticking it out.  Rewards in crossing over to the other side.

We have all done this in our Christianity as well, instead of putting ourselves out there, we choose playing it safe and cling to comfortable–limiting ourselves to how God will move within us.

The gritty life requires trusting in the one who knows.  Relying on Him for our provision of courage, strength, and wisdom.  Living in the battle with Christ that He’s already won, not running from it.  When we embrace the process, we embrace God’s purpose for us.

We can do all things in Christ, who gives us Strength. Phil. 4:13Click To Tweet

Living gritty builds our faith and courageous muscles.  You’re life isn’t just a bunch of checkboxes you’re someone who pursues life with a passion.

Trust in the One Who is Able.

Grit is the character of Jesus.  He had an unbreakable spirit that endured so much, especially when he was on the cross.  He endured taking upon our own sin, was beaten, mocked, all for us. We can learn from the character of Jesus and what it means to live gritty.

Gritty people TRUST God to provide Holy Courage, a Holy Confidence, a Holy Bravery, and a Holy Strength that’s resilient against whatever is opposing them. It means relying on God to have the courage to stop or the courage to start.  It’s having a fighting spirit that perseveres, endures and doesn’t ever give up.

Instead of avoiding hardships gritty people RUN to them, because they know trials make their courageous muscles STRONGER.  Gritty people BUILD and EMBRACE RESILIENCE because resilience helps them get to the other side of hardship.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we DO NOT GIVE UP. Galatians 6:9 verseClick To Tweet

Gritty people ADAPT a positive attitude even when everything is falling apart.  They EMBRACE CHANGE well because they are confident in the ONE who PROVIDES for their PROVISION.

Pursue Growth.

Gritty people learn how to be content in all circumstances. They step out of their comfort zone. They pursue growth, excellence-- they pursue the BREAKTHROUGH like IT'S their job. #choosegrittyClick To Tweet

“I know what it is to be in need, and Know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”  Phil. 4:12

They are a person of influence, they want to make an impact or difference in this world.

Gritty people put themselves in situations where they can see God move. They take risks, seek wisdom and realize no risk, no growth.  They have a passion and zeal for life that allow them to live victoriously in Christ.  They desire and pursue living in the healthiest version of themselves in Christ.

Gritty people are humble enough to learn from their mistakes, don’t let failures hold them back but allow them to be the driving force to propel them forward.  They don’t play the victim but live as a victor.  They live in the battle that has already been won.

Do You Feel Like You’re Lacking or Falling Short?

Is there Grit in Your Life?

Living life with grit life is the difference between winning the gold medal of just showing up to practice.  Grit helps a person pursue hardships of life with courage.  When we move from a checklist to living into healthy patterns of living we embrace God’s purpose to live life and live it to the full.

Want more ways to build your courage and live gritty?  Here are 3 Ways to Make your Courage Stronger and a downloadable bookmark to remind you God is with you.

Prayer-  Lord Jesus, please help us stay focused on what you are able to do and not our inadequacies, not where we constantly fall short but in your Holy Power.  I pray we will seek you for our wisdom, courage and confidence so we can pursue life with grit and allow your greater plans to move and work within us.  It’s not up to us and our strength but yours, Help us surrender our hearts to you everyday and be intentional, letting go of checkbox living and performance, Lord.  We love you and trust you, in Jesus name.  Amen

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I would love to hear from you!  Leave Your Comments Below.  I pray your week is filled with God’s abundant freedom!  ​In Him,

Need a reminder to live life with more Grit?  Here’s a FREE Bookmark as a reminder!  Click on link below.   Be Strong and Courageous Bookmark

we are not alone..

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Do You Know What You Need?

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Do you know what you need?

I can tell you better what I want more than what I need.  I want a big piece of chocolate cake without reaping the consequences.  I want my kids to be obedient without giving me a hard time.  I want to work less, sleep in and go on vacation more.  The same goes for my kids.  I ask are you hungry, do you want something to eat?  Ten minutes later they tell me they’re hungry.  I’ve learned over the years don’t do what they say, do what they need.

What I need?  That’s a different story.  I know I need to be discipline even though I don’t want to.  If I wasn’t disciplined I would eat whatever I wanted, let time go by and never get anything done.

Not knowing what we need is apart of most of our stories.

Did you know in America there are over 52,000 Self-Storage units?  That means despite the 65% of Americans who already have garages to store ‘stuff,’ there’s an additional 21 extra feet to store more ‘stuff.’

In a study of overeating rats, Scientists examined their eating habits and their reward system (dopamine receptors).  What they found was once the rats started down the path of overeating it drove them towards a dysfunctional reward system.  In order to feel the ‘reward’ or satisfaction of eating they had to eat more in order to feel the ‘reward,’ which led them to their downfall.

It makes me question with our hoarding and addictive tendencies, do we even know what we need?Click To Tweet

Give me what I need not what I want.

One story in the Bible reminds me of what happens when we look within and seek God for provision instead of relying on ourselves or the world to rescue us.

In 2 Kings, a widow who was in financial trouble came to Elisha who her husband had worked for.  She tells Elisha of her troubles, how creditors are looking for her.  Elisha asks her, “How can I help you?  Tell me, what do you have in your house? (2 Kings 4:2).  She tells him I don’t have anything except a small jar of oil.

Elisha then tells her go to your neighbors and ask for jars, bring them back to your house, shut the door, pour the oil into all the jars and put them to the side (2 Kings 4:4).

“She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons.  They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring until they were full” (2 Kings 4:5).

3 Lessons from the Heart:

Three important lessons can be learned from this message.

 1.  She Chose Wisdom.  Out of desperation, the widow who was in fear of losing her two sons to the creditor as slaves, turned towards Elisha, a man of wisdom.  As a widow she was in a desperate situation, no husband, no way to financially provide for her sons, she chose to seek counsel of a wise man (Elisha) instead of acting out her fear.

2.  God Provided.  Elisha asked, “What do you have?”  When the widow came to Elisha, he didn’t immediately dive in to rescue her by giving her what she needed, he pointed her to look within to see what she already had.  As Christians we are called to love others, but we also can be guilty of taking over the role as the Savior and rescue people from their situations instead of helping them gain the skills they need to do for themselves.  There comes a time when helping helps and when helping hurts.  Elisha didn’t create a cycle of dependency, he gave her the skills to utilize the resources she already had.

3.  God Multiplied.  The oil never stopped flowing until all the jars were filled.  God used what she had and made it plentiful, into more than she needed.  Elisha said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts.  You and your sons can live on what is left. (2 Kings 4:7).  The jar plan Elisha told her, sounded kind of crazy.  But she trusted and obeyed and God multiplied what she had.

How Amazing is our God?

One thing the widow did that makes an impression on my heart is how she embraced the suffering.  She was dealing with the grief of her husband, having to be the primary breadwinner/caretaker of her sons and deal with everything on her own.  She didn’t throw her hands up, say ‘I give up,’ and let her sons be sold as slaves.

When she pursued wisdom and embraced the suffering, it drastically changed her situation.Click To Tweet

What do you need?

Looking at our world, there is an epidemic of brokenness.  A world that turns towards crime, drugs, prostitution, eating, hoarding to fill a void of something we all desperately need–LOVE.

We can have everything taken from us but if we still have love, we have everything we need.  Things and stuff can be replaced but the love from others cannot.

God’s love is the solution to brokenness.

God's love has the power to mend and provide in ways this world can never do. Click To TweetDo you need Love?  Leave a comment below how can I pray for you?

The best way to receive love is to give it.  Who can you love on?  A widow, a person who needs groceries, a parent who could use a date night?  Every small act of kindness makes an impact in someone else’s life.

Prayer-  Dear Lord,  Give me what I need, not what I want.  When I ask for what I want, it makes me dependent upon worldly things that leaves me only wanting more temporary rewards.  I need you Lord.  I want you God.  You are my Maker, my Lord who knows what I need.  Help me seek you, stay focused on you so you can give me the desires of my heart.  Help me be like the widow, who chose wisdom, had faith and trusted in you Lord and allowed you to lead her Lord.  I thank you and praise you for who you are.  In Jesus name, Amen.

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A Letter From Jesus: A note to my inner Enneagram

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This year has been a really hard year for me in regard to discovering things about myself I never knew.  It’s been a year God has been using to grow me in ways I never knew I needed.  I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, reading and just spending time with God.  I’ve read books like “Kill the Spider,” “Soul Detox,” “Nehemiah,” and “The Road Back to You.”   Based on the titles of these books you can guess what kind of person I am, which ironically I didn’t know about myself until just recently–I’m a perfectionist.  Anyone who knows me would say, ‘there’s no way you’re a perfectionist’ based on what they see outwardly, but inwardly quite frankly, I beat myself up every day.

In Kill The Spider, I learned I need to kill the spider creating cobwebs in my life.  If I never target the very thing creating the mess, the mess will just keep reoccurring over and over.

In Soul Detox, I learned I need to get rid of the things contaminating my life, whether it be relationships, things in my environment, or what I’m goes into my ears and eyes, holding onto things that are toxic will only make for more toxicity.

In The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, I learned I am a one with a two-wing, which in enneagram language means I am a reformer at heart, I want to change the world and I have helper qualities.  For anyone who has taken a personality test and doesn’t like to be pegged to a number, this is more than labeling you into a certain category.  This book has helped me see myself the way God sees me, to not allow my flaws and inadequacies define me or make me stumble, but embrace them to be used the way God intended for them.

My flaws make me closer to God and more dependent upon Him. If I didn't have inadequacies, I wouldn't need God. Click To Tweet

I can be overly critical or judgmental of myself at times.  I constantly go over in my head how I could have done things better, how something could be improved, what I wish I would have said.  It can get tiring hearing these voices in my head over and over pointing out mistakes I’ve made, telling me whatever I did wasn’t good enough.

Sometimes I just need a break from myself and replace these nagging voices with what God says about me.   I have to be careful not to allow the inner critic in me or my constant comparison to unrealistic standards pull me down to the point I can’t hear God’s voice.  So I turn to the One who knows me best.

A Letter From Jesus:

Dear Child,  You are loved.  I want to remind you, you are good enough.  You are more than your failures, you are more than your past mistakes.  You aren’t the labels you have put on yourself.  You are definitely not the lies the enemy has told you.  You are who I say you are.  I have created you just the way you are for a reason.  Your flaws don’t define you, I do.  I will use your flaws for my greater plan.  Stay close to me.  Depend on me for all your needs.

Find refuge and peace in my presence, don’t go ahead of me.  I have the greatest plans for you.  Trust in my goodness and in what I’m able to do.  Don’t focus on your obstacles, your mistakes or flaws, stay focused on me and my purpose for you.  I will guide you if you let me.  I accept and love you for who you are.  Don’t allow your flaws to hold you back or keep you from participating in the plans I have for you. Don’t beat yourself up.  Don’t seek your value and worth in the comparison of others, find your value and worth in Me.  Be gentle and forgiving with yourself when you make mistakes.

Surround yourself with my truth in who I say you are.  I created you.  Seek your identity in me, guard yourself against the lies of the world surround yourself with my truth.  You may not be where you want to be, sweet child, this is a journey, not a race, enjoy it.  You are one of my best creations.  I find joy in you.  I will be your strength.  You are loved whether you succeed or fail.  It’s okay if things aren’t perfect.  I will use you to display my perfection. You are loved and you are good enough.  I will never leave you.  I am here for you, hold onto my promises, we will do this together.

Love, Jesus

A couple pieces of advice I give myself to help battle through the process of perfectionism are,

  1.  Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself.  I tend to be serious at times and just need to have a good ole chuckle when I do make mistakes or don’t say things perfectly.
  2. When the volume of your inner critic starts getting loud, smile and say I appreciate your help but I am learning how to accept and embrace my imperfections.  Say, “I am who God says I am, He loves me just the way I am, it’s okay if it’s not perfect.”
  3. Find a hobby you enjoy doing just because you like doing it.  I have picked up card-making (I’m not that good at it), but it’s one of those hobbies I enjoy and give myself the liberty to mess up and be okay with it, because the cards I give to people give purpose to the reformer in me, helping others when life hurts.
  4. Surround yourself with God’s word of who He says you are.  Read Scripture about who God says you are (Psalm 139:14 and 2 Timothy 1:7).  Listen to Lauren Daigle’s song, “You say,” or Hillsong’s song, “I am Who You Say I am.”  

If you know anyone who struggles with perfectionism or who they are in Christ here are other helpful articles I’ve written that have helped me in the process.

Failures Don’t Define Us

You Are Not Qualified

God is refining us.  One of the best lessons I am learning on this journey is to embrace God’s purpose for me despite my flaws and obstacles.  If you are a One on the Enneagram and can relate to this message please leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.  Authors of The Road Back to you write, “May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique, behind every facade of your life is something eternally beautiful.  May you learn to see yourself with the same delight, pride and expectation which God sees you in every moment” (Cron and Stable).

Join me in the journey of embracing who you are in Christ by taking the Free Enneagram test and reading “The Road Back to You.”  It’s not about labels but living in the healthiest version of yourself and allowing God to use all of you including your flaws.

Can you relate to this article?  Please share.  Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive a FREE mini E-book “The Jericho Prayer,” and a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

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Parts of Mark Batterson’s Whisper How to Hear the Voice of God 5-day Reading Plan from the You Version Bible reading plan were used for this post.
Cron, I. M. (2016). The road back to you: An Enneagram journey to self-discovery. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press