My Hiding Place
Do you have a hiding place? A place you like to retreat to? To get some peace and quiet? To be able to decompress? Process things? Or just get away?
I have a hiding place that doesn’t seem like much of a hiding place. It’s a place I always seem to come back to and find hard to stay away from. It doesn’t seem like much of a retreat and yet I always come back to it. Busyness.
Why do I keep coming to this place? I constantly struggle with making my no, be no and my yes be yes. I struggle with the balance of just because I can doesn’t mean I should. I struggle with my heart being pulled in a million different places and where I should prioritize being present. I constantly allow myself to be reeled back into this place time and time again. The only thing I accomplish in the end is the feeling of not being able to accomplish the task well, weariness and guilty for spending valuable time away from the ones I love.
Why do I do this?
It’s who I am. According to my Enneagram personality test, I’m a reformer by nature and have a desire to change the world. I’m also a helper, who likes to help others at the expense of neglecting the needs of myself or my family. Busyness also keeps me from dealing with the core issue of who I am–my perfectionism. If I had a conversation with you, worked on a project, or been allotted a task I’m going to analyze how I could have improved the situation relentlessly in my head over and over. It becomes tiring and quite defeating not living up to these always changing expectations.
When is it ever good enough?At some point I just need to be okay with how things are, and accept it's enough.Click To Tweet
So how can I prevent getting into the tangled web of busyness?
Before I say yes to anything, I need to consult with God and my husband FIRST. Because really when I say yes to something I’m really saying no to my family. I need to spend time in prayer asking God, is this how I can make the most impact right now? Is this how I should be spending the time you have given me?
My story reminds me of the Mary and Martha. Whenever a guest comes to visit your home, there are so many preparations and tasks needed to be done before their arrival, especially if Jesus is your guest! Jesus came to their home. While Martha was distracted by all the preparations for their guest, Mary sat at Jesus’s feet and listened to what he had to say. Martha became annoyed at Mary and said to Jesus, “Lord, don’t you care my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:40).
Jesus responded, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed–or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her”. (Luke 10:41-42).
I’ve asked myself would I have responded like Mary or Martha? I want to say I would have sat at Jesus’s feet listening to every word He had to say, blocking out any distraction focusing on what was most important at that moment–Jesus. But being the reformer, helper I am, I know I would have been distracted like Martha, missing the very point of Jesus’s visit–to be with Him.
Over the years It has become easier the more time I spend with God, discerning his voice over what I need to do and not do. But if I’m not careful can fall into the trap of busyness once again missing the very essence of God’s desire for me–His purpose.
My value and worth aren’t comprised of how much I accomplish, but in who God says I am and His purpose for me. There will always be another task to accomplish, but if I lose focus of God’s purpose for me then all is lost. The biggest obstacle I can be aware of is if life starts to get chaotic, then probably I let my balance off of being more performance driven than purpose driven.
I will never regret when I make a choice in Jesus name in the direction of God’s purpose for me. I will never say I wish I performed more tasks. I will never say I wish I had more time to do more. I will always regret not spending enough time where my time is needed most with my family or I didn’t get the rest I needed.
Do you struggle with busyness or distractions?
I want to be attentive to what God desires for me and not distracted by where the world wants to take me. God’s purpose will eternally satisfy more than any highly successful performance ever will.
Where is your hiding place?
Who do you relate most to Mary or Martha?
Prayer- Lord help me please guard my time, protect the time our family has together. Help me find rest in you and not my hiding place. Help my no be no and yes be yes and not feel bad about it! Help me be present, not go before you and be released from the burden of how I can always do things better. I love you Lord, trust in who you are, you’re promises and love. Thank you for keeping me balanced and grounded. I love you, God, in Jesus name, Amen.
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