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Have You Ever Been a Holy Mess? Interview with Michelle Rabon’s New Book: Holy Mess

 

Have you ever just felt like your life was a mess?  Or maybe even a Hot Mess?  But a Holy Mess?  That’s a whole other level!  Just reading the title makes me relate!

What if our Holy Messes were apart of God’s Holy Purpose for us?

What if God’s Holy Purpose could not be carried out in us if we didn’t have our Messes?

Our messes are God’s platform to carry out His greatest plans.  He doesn’t need us to do this, He WANTS US to carry out His plans.  He could have chosen to live anywhere in the world but He chose to reside in our hearts.

I want to introduce you to Michelle Rabon the author of a Holy Mess.  She actually wrote “Holy Mess” as both a traditional book with a coordinating Bible study. The benefit of the book is to help women find freedom from the messes of their life through Christ and walk forward in faith. It will help women see that God meets us in the midst of every mess we will face in this life and He will walk us through it all.

So let’s get started!

Heather:  What is the story behind Holy Mess?  What drove you to write this book?

Michelle:  I never set out to write a book in all honesty. I accepted Christ at the age of 19, but it took until my late 20s to really understand what it meant to be a woman radically changed by the Gospel. I know God saved me and changed me, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to live that out. 

From the time I was 19 to my late 20s, I was married, had three children, lost my father, brother, mother in law and had two miscarriages. There was a lot of life, a lot of hurt and little understanding of how the Gospel could meet me in the midst of it all. Holy Mess really is 10 years of hard fought lessons in one book. Everything God has used to teach me about what the Gospel really means for our lives every day. 

I wrote the idea on a piece of paper three years ago. I knew that all I walked through was not without reason and it was meant to be shared. The desire of my heart and the burden God placed on my heart was to help other women see the power of the Gospel for every area of her life. 

Heather: What does it mean to be a woman who is radically changed by the gospel?  

Michelle:  Being a woman who is radically changed by the gospel is a reflection of the power of what Christ can do in a woman’s life. When we accept the gift of salvation and surrender our lives to God because of Christ,  who went to a cross on our behalf – God begins to shape us into His holy daughters. Our perfection isn’t required because He meets us in the midst of our messes. 

When we are radically changed we are moved from our old way to a new way, a new life. A life of abundance and hope. It does not mean God is offering us a perfect life, but He says I will meet you in it. He says I am with you every step, and He will be faithful to bring the holy to His radically changed daughters.

Heather:  What was your favorite and least favorite part of the process of the Holy mess?  

Michelle:  My favorite part of the process was learning so much about the women of the Bible. There is so much that God will teach us through the people in the pages of Scripture. Their stories resonate with us because they are like you and I, just a few hundred years between us. 

My least favorite, having to walk out what God was teaching me, every word I wrote I lived out first before it found its way onto a page. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it. 

Heather:  If there is one take away message you can share from the Holy mess what would that be?  

Michelle:  That if God can change the women of the Bible then He can change you, and when He changes you, He will walk this life with you. 

 

Michelle is a wife and mom of three who is learning to embrace the messiness of life and walk in the grace of God. When she isn’t chasing or homeschooling her little ones, she is writing, drinking coffee, and serving women in her local church. You can find her at Displayinggrace.com, Instagram @displayinggrace and Facebook @displaygrace

All book information is at www.holymessbook.com

 


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When Unconditional Love is the Outcome

Have you ever had to swallow some hard truth?  A truth so hard to grasp you didn’t want to hold onto it?

When we truthfully sit with hard questions to examine our hearts to search for anything ruminating in the spaces that belong to God–we discover the fears, doubts, worries and anxieties holding us back from the ultimate outcome of receiving His love.

Have you ever been in a place of desperation or despair, wondering are God’s promises and miracles even for real?  When I get to these places of doubt or disappointment I have to take a step back and see what am I holding onto and where am I really placing my hope?

Honestly I’ve been afraid of the truth of what might never will be.  I’ve had to process what’s really God’s will verses my will and ask do they align with one another?

I’ve had to give A LOT of fears and doubts over to God over the years and Trust He know what’s best.  Believe what He has for me is better.  But when you’re in the daily grind and the cycles of brokenness continually perpetuate overtime, you feel like you’re just running on the treadmill and get weary and tired.

3 Ways to Allow Love to Be in the Outcome-

Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?  Who may live on your holy mountain?” Psalm 15:1

1. Sit with the Truth by Asking Hard Questions–  Where are we dwelling in pretend world or reality?  Where are we putting our hope and trust?  What do God’s Promises and Miracles mean to me?  Am I really committing to God or tweaking his plan to fit my own conveniences?  Is my way to do things more important than my obedience to God?  Truthfully answering these questions helps empty our hearts of anything getting in the way of receiving God’s love.

My answer-  I think we try to fit God into a box of what we want, demand he does them and then get frustrated when what we ask for doesn’t happen.  I think we can stand on sides of God’s promises and miracles.  One side is doubt and we dwell outside of his miracles thinking they are not for us and will never happen.  The other side of God’s promises/miracles lies entitlement, we want his Promises and Miracles NOW.  And when they don’t happen when we want them to, we become disappointed.  Click here if you missed last month’s post Why we should let go of the miracle.

Are we truly living in his promises and what he's able to do or putting our own expectations on what God can do? Click To Tweet

When we put our hope and trust in God’s outcome, love is always the outcome.  Any other outcome we put our trust in will only be temporary and leads to disappointment every time.

2.  Peel back the labels.  Just because we label or call ourselves Christians or believers doesn’t mean that is the fail safe for our relationship with God.  Labels aren’t our identity or our truth– our identity in Christ is.  We like to claim things over lives and believe we safely fall within this realm of ‘I’m a Christian’ so I’m safe, when in reality we hide behind the labels of false-images, status and accomplishments all the time.

Instead of hiding behind the labels, we need to stand in front of them and say ‘I’m broken and I need Jesus.’  So many of us (me included) want to stay safely protected behind these labels clinging to them like they’re the gospel.  When in reality, we’re clinging to what is comfortable in fear of being shamed, not accepted or condemned for who we really are.

Are we more concerned with our own comforts or God’s glory?

What are we really holding on to?

“Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.”  Jonah 2:8

3.  Love Anyway, Embrace the process.  Just because we don’t like our circumstances doesn’t mean we’re defeated or God doesn’t love us.  Any outcome where love is the choice gives power for change.  How do we do this?

When we choose to love knowing we will endure pain but God will use it for his greater good.  When we pray for our enemy, hearts and perspectives change.  When we accept the things we cannot change and surrender them to God, outcomes change.  When reside in what God has for us and accept his plans are good enough, we receive his everlasting grace.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Is God’s grace enough?  When I truly live under the umbrella of God’s truth and grace–Freedom becomes My Reality.  I can CONFIDENTLY say, ‘I’m Free, no chains or anchors here.”  In order to live under the banner of truth and live in the reality of it, we have to release any false pretenses, perceptions, images, identities, labels, disillusioned fears, anxieties, worries, doubts (that’s a lot to release), when we do WE ARE NO LONGER SLAVES TO OUR FEARS and THE ENEMY LOSES ALL POWER OVER US.

The reality is what we’re praying for may never happen the way we want it.  Or maybe what we go through is part of God’s plan to prepare us what we’ve asked for.  We have to release the OUTCOME to God and say, “I’m OK with YOUR OUTCOME God, what YOU have for ME is ENOUGH.”

When we CHOOSE God’s OUTCOME and ALLOW GOD’S OUTCOME for our LIVES, we can trust God’s Love will ALWAYS be apart of the OUTCOME.  In God’s Plans, LOVE is ALWAYS the OUTCOME.

When we choose and accept God’s outcome, we are choosing a life of pain.  No one willingly signs up for this type of life.  We will have trials and heartaches that seem out of control and unbearable.  It is a life that requires complete surrender and dependence on God BUT will be the most eternally rewarding.

Where we receive God's love

Please rest on these nuggets of truth when you’re in situations of relentless turmoil and need to make more room for God’s love in your life.

God’s will, will never take you where His grace cannot protect you.

Every one of God’s plans will have his love in the outcome.

There is freedom and peace when we live under the banner of truth, when we are truthful and honest with ourselves.

We will no longer be slaves to fear when we accept God’s plans and His grace as enough.

We will always regret playing it safe by choosing comfort.  We will Never Regret pursing and following the Will of God.

God’s love ALWAYS Prevails.  

I pray and hope this is a safe place to leave your comments and start a conversation where no one has to fear being judged or condemned.

What is your number one struggle you cling to and haven’t released to God?

Do you trust God’s Outcome is enough for you?

Have you peeled back the labels to see what’s really underneath them?

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I would love to hear from you!  Leave Your Comments Below.   ​In Him,

In case you missed it here is last month’s post Why We Should Let Go of the Miracle


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Here Are My Top 5 Favorite Bible Studies and Teachers

I will never forget the first Bible study I ever attended, 8 years ago, was Daniel by Beth Moore.  I know what you’re thinking.  That’s a pretty intense study for someone who had never done a Bible study before.  You’re right.  I don’t recommend jumping into the end of times or a book of prophecy for newbies.  However, looking back the book of Daniel ignited something deeper in me–a yearning and desire to learn more, because of everything I lacked.

Before starting the study I had heard of the Bible teacher Beth Moore, but didn’t know much about her.  After completing the study she had such a fervent spirit of teaching the Bible I knew I had to learn from her again and my journey had just began.

If you are thinking about joining a Bible study, DO IT!  Don’t let your excuses outweigh the reward of joining a study {of course only if it’s the right season for you.}.  Also don’t sit in those chairs too long, eventually God will be stirring in your heart to lead a study–follow his guidance an prompting, you will never regret it!

Here are My Top 5 Favorite Bible Studies and Teachers:

1. Beth Moore-  It’s so hard to pick which are my favorite studies, because she’s done so many of them.  My most favorite are James and Children of the Day (1 & 2 Thessalonias).  I’ve also completed her Esther study and Entrusted (2 Timothy).  If you are looking for in-depth material that’s rich with biblical knowledge and personal application, Beth is a good place to start.  She can be very intense {but so can I} so I relate to her.  Her videos can be long, but her studies are great to do with a group.

2.  Priscilla Shirer-  If you never had a chance to do one of Priscilla’s Bible studies order one now!  I love her passionate teaching style how she relates real life to the biblical and has so many rich #truthbombs that resonate with my life and what I’m going through.  It’s like she’s speaking right to you and meeting you right where you are at any given time.  I just finished Gideon and have completed Fervent, Jonah and the Armor of God.

I started Discerning the Voice of God but have not finished it yet.  And I would love to complete her Awaken devotional and The One in a Million Study one day.  My son has started reading her Prince Warrior series as well You will not be disappointed when completing her study.  Your passion for more will be ignited.

3.  Lysa Teurkerst-  I also like Lysa’s teaching style, which is a down to earth, gentle hearted style.  Lysa doesn’t have per say books of the Bible studies but Life studies that she uses biblical application.  This can be less overwhelming for someone starting out trying a Bible study for the first time, because it’s not as intimidating as completing an entire chapter of the Bible.  My favorite studies I have completed by Lysa are Finding I AM and My Best Yes.

I LOVE Bible studies that cover a topic of the Bible like the 7 I AM statements Lysa covered in the book of John.  I loved how she made short videos with rich biblical content in Israel!  The Best Yes was also so good for me, because the majority of my whole life I was a people-pleaser and said yes before really thinking things through.  This book gave me the confidence to say NO and stick to it.

4.  Kelly Minter-  Kelly’s style is also down to earth and very intimate like you’re sitting on her couch (hence the name Living Room Series she completes).  Every time I complete a Bible study, it’s like God placed that exact Bible study in my hands and the exact right timing.  It’s like God knows what you need (LOL).  Why am I surprised every time?

I love how Kelly personalizes her studies with her own style of including recipes (which cooking is her passion), her music (because she’s a songwriter), and her journeys she takes to the Amazon.  My favorite studies I’ve completed by Kelly are What Love Is and Nehemiah and I’ve read her book Where the River Runs and started the Hannah (tween) Bible study with my daughter.

5.  Moody Publishers Authors Erica Wiggenhorn and Kim Erickson-  Up until this point I’ve recommended Lifeway authors only.  There are soooo many great Bible study teachers out there from other publishers and moody publishers does a great job publishing great women studies as well.  I’m a little biased, about these two authors because they are my friends.  I first met Erica and Kim 8 years ago in AZ when I lived there.

Ever since then we have prayed for one another and cheered each other on in our ventures.  It’s so exciting to see their work published and for women to be learning about Jesus through them!  Both of their studies following along a book of the Bible and has lots of biblical and life application.  Please check out their work on the their websites at Erica Wiggenhorn and Kim Erickson.

Bottom line we reap what we sow, we grow when we allow God to use our time and weakness for His greater plans.  Each study we complete he will use to equip us for what He has store for us in our lives.  Check your local church for their Bible studies, join one on-line or host one in your home!

What is your favorite Bible study and/or teacher?

What are you studying?

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Why It’s Important To Pursue Life With Grit

This is why it's important to pursue life with grit

Have you ever met a person who has been through the unimaginable yet has an unbreakable spirit?

Why do some people merely survive and some thrive when put in the same circumstance?  It’s the same reason why boiling water has the ability to soften a potato or harden an egg, the circumstances are the same but the properties are different.

What is Grit? and Why it Grit Important to Have in our Lives?

Grit-  means to have courage and resolve; strength of character. 

But really there is so much more to grit.  There are characteristics of those who choose to live a life with grit.  Living life with grit, requires a motivated spirit, intention, and discipline.

There have been times in my life when my courage has been dismantled, my confidence dwindled to broken pieces–Why?  Because I clung to the disparity between my circumstances and what God was able to do. I focused on MY weakness and allowed fear to hold me back instead of allowing my weakness to be a platform for God’s STRENGTH.

When I say Live Life with Grit, I must remind myself DAILY to live and practice them EVERYDAY.

3 Ways to Live Life with Grit

Embrace The Process.

God doesn’t guarantee us a life without battles, but shows us a way to find rest amongst our enemies when we sit at the table he has already prepared for us (Psalm 23).  When we rest in HIS POWER and abilities of what He’s able to accomplish, we witness His glorious plans unfold within us.

I think we sell ourselves short in our culture and next generation.  We have become a very self-serving, un-empathetic culture that disregards authority and looks within ourselves for our own moral compass.  Probably because dopamine supplies in our brains are depleted from every temporary reward of self-gratification everything instant, fast, and convenient.

There are rewards in persevering, enduring, pushing through the battle.  Rewards in sticking it out.  Rewards in crossing over to the other side.

We have all done this in our Christianity as well, instead of putting ourselves out there, we choose playing it safe and cling to comfortable–limiting ourselves to how God will move within us.

The gritty life requires trusting in the one who knows.  Relying on Him for our provision of courage, strength, and wisdom.  Living in the battle with Christ that He’s already won, not running from it.  When we embrace the process, we embrace God’s purpose for us.

We can do all things in Christ, who gives us Strength. Phil. 4:13Click To Tweet

Living gritty builds our faith and courageous muscles.  You’re life isn’t just a bunch of checkboxes you’re someone who pursues life with a passion.

Trust in the One Who is Able.

Grit is the character of Jesus.  He had an unbreakable spirit that endured so much, especially when he was on the cross.  He endured taking upon our own sin, was beaten, mocked, all for us. We can learn from the character of Jesus and what it means to live gritty.

Gritty people TRUST God to provide Holy Courage, a Holy Confidence, a Holy Bravery, and a Holy Strength that’s resilient against whatever is opposing them. It means relying on God to have the courage to stop or the courage to start.  It’s having a fighting spirit that perseveres, endures and doesn’t ever give up.

Instead of avoiding hardships gritty people RUN to them, because they know trials make their courageous muscles STRONGER.  Gritty people BUILD and EMBRACE RESILIENCE because resilience helps them get to the other side of hardship.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we DO NOT GIVE UP. Galatians 6:9 verseClick To Tweet

Gritty people ADAPT a positive attitude even when everything is falling apart.  They EMBRACE CHANGE well because they are confident in the ONE who PROVIDES for their PROVISION.

Pursue Growth.

Gritty people learn how to be content in all circumstances. They step out of their comfort zone. They pursue growth, excellence-- they pursue the BREAKTHROUGH like IT'S their job. #choosegrittyClick To Tweet

“I know what it is to be in need, and Know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”  Phil. 4:12

They are a person of influence, they want to make an impact or difference in this world.

Gritty people put themselves in situations where they can see God move. They take risks, seek wisdom and realize no risk, no growth.  They have a passion and zeal for life that allow them to live victoriously in Christ.  They desire and pursue living in the healthiest version of themselves in Christ.

Gritty people are humble enough to learn from their mistakes, don’t let failures hold them back but allow them to be the driving force to propel them forward.  They don’t play the victim but live as a victor.  They live in the battle that has already been won.

Do You Feel Like You’re Lacking or Falling Short?

Is there Grit in Your Life?

Living life with grit life is the difference between winning the gold medal of just showing up to practice.  Grit helps a person pursue hardships of life with courage.  When we move from a checklist to living into healthy patterns of living we embrace God’s purpose to live life and live it to the full.

Want more ways to build your courage and live gritty?  Here are 3 Ways to Make your Courage Stronger and a downloadable bookmark to remind you God is with you.

Prayer-  Lord Jesus, please help us stay focused on what you are able to do and not our inadequacies, not where we constantly fall short but in your Holy Power.  I pray we will seek you for our wisdom, courage and confidence so we can pursue life with grit and allow your greater plans to move and work within us.  It’s not up to us and our strength but yours, Help us surrender our hearts to you everyday and be intentional, letting go of checkbox living and performance, Lord.  We love you and trust you, in Jesus name.  Amen

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I would love to hear from you!  Leave Your Comments Below.  I pray your week is filled with God’s abundant freedom!  ​In Him,

Need a reminder to live life with more Grit?  Here’s a FREE Bookmark as a reminder!  Click on link below.   Be Strong and Courageous Bookmark

we are not alone..


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The Top 3 Most Powerful Influences In Our Life

 

Influence (Noun)-  the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others:

We are all under the influence of something.  Cops use this phrase all the time, he was driving under the influence.  Now there are breathalyzers and blood tests to measure someone’s blood alcohol level.  When a person comes into the ER they tell us “I only had 2 drinks,” but the results of their blood tests, tells the real story.

In 2016 over 10,000 people in Colorado were arrested for DUI’s.  Being under the influence of alcohol clouds judgement and allows not good choices to impact the future.  Being under the influence, influences them in ways they would normally not be influenced.

'Do not get drunk with wine, which will only ruin you; instead, be filled with the Spirit.' Ephesians 5:18Click To Tweet

I don’t know if you’ve come across this verse before.  But I always found it odd how the Holy Spirit is compared to wine.  Looking closer I see why.  Being intoxicated on wine ruins our judgement controlling our minds.  Paul is trying to express to the Ephesians be filled with the Holy Spirit instead which leads to self-control.  Sounds boring right?  In reality we receive so much more in our self-control.  Being filled with the Holy Spirit isn’t just a one time filling but a regular pattern of life.

What Really Influences Us?

FRIENDS.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been influenced by my friends when I was growing up.  Somewhere along the way I valued what my friends thought more than what God thought.  I fell to peer pressure over and over again, reaping the consequences every time.  We are who we hang out with.  If we hang out with others who curse chances are we’ll start cursing.  If we hang out with others who (fill in the blank)  ______________________ chances are we will start doing what they are doing.  We are influenced by those in our inner circle.

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”  1 Corinthians 15:33

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs  13:20

THE WORLD.  “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”  Romans 12:2
There have been so many times I’ve been intoxicated on worldly treasures.  I made them more than God.  I pursued worldly treasures instead of what God desired for me.
How often are we lured away by everything the world has to offer?  We form little g, gods we bow down to allowing them to rule us.  We chase dangling carrots, empty promises of being rich, false images that fall apart don’t last–all for what?  This year I want to ask myself, what influences me?  Following the world or Jesus?
POSITIVITY.  “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1.  I admit I have gotten into bad patterns of negativity at times.  I’ve allowed negativity to encroach my thoughts and spill out into my actions.  How much more are you impacted when someone responds in love?  When a person could have chosen to get angry and yell, but instead chose to speak love.
JESUS.  His influence changed the hearts and lives of the world while he was on this earth and still impacts us even after he’s gone.  The legacy of love, kindness, compassion, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, joy and patience is insurmountable.
I’d like to say church influences us.  But really many of us, me included, for years have shown up to church sat there, listened to the message, let’s be real here, zoned out and thought of the hundred other things I’ve needed to do.  I’ve sat there taking up space, but my heart wasn’t focused, wasn’t present.  After leaving church, life just went on as if I never went.  The message didn’t seep through.
The message didn’t influence me.  Why?  To be under the influence one has to receive.  One has to partake.  One has to be engaged.  We can’t just expect to be under the influence of something by merely taking up space or by osmosis.  Just like a car can’t run without it’s gas tank being filled with gas over and over, our spiritual lives can’t be influenced without being drunk on the Holy Spirit.  Sounds weird right?

Being influenced requires a regular pattern of life.  A regular filling.  A regular receiving.

We may get mad at God and ask why has nothing changed in my life?  The answer may be what influences us?  Who do we hang out with?  What do we spend most of our time doing?  What music do we listen to?  What words come our of our mouths?  What are we really putting into our hearts, minds, mouths and minds?
There may not be a blood tests that measures what is the level of our spiritual influence.  But there is an indicator in our lives that lets us know what influences us–what fruit is growing in our lives?  An apple tree is recognized by its apples just as a lemon tree is recognized by its lemons.  The fruit of kindness, gentleness, joy, peace and self-control is evident when it is growing in our lives. (Galatians 5:22-23)?

What kind of fruit is growing in your life?

If you would like to know what is preventing growth in your life, revisit the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13.  Read what sets a person up for success and eternal growth.  There is no one else who influences us more than Jesus.  His influence has transformed our hearts and lives forever that makes an eternal difference.

What Influences Your Life?

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A Letter From Jesus: A note to my inner Enneagram

 

This year has been a really hard year for me in regard to discovering things about myself I never knew.  It’s been a year God has been using to grow me in ways I never knew I needed.  I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, reading and just spending time with God.  I’ve read books like “Kill the Spider,” “Soul Detox,” “Nehemiah,” and “The Road Back to You.”   Based on the titles of these books you can guess what kind of person I am, which ironically I didn’t know about myself until just recently–I’m a perfectionist.  Anyone who knows me would say, ‘there’s no way you’re a perfectionist’ based on what they see outwardly, but inwardly quite frankly, I beat myself up every day.

In Kill The Spider, I learned I need to kill the spider creating cobwebs in my life.  If I never target the very thing creating the mess, the mess will just keep reoccurring over and over.

In Soul Detox, I learned I need to get rid of the things contaminating my life, whether it be relationships, things in my environment, or what I’m goes into my ears and eyes, holding onto things that are toxic will only make for more toxicity.

In The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, I learned I am a one with a two-wing, which in enneagram language means I am a reformer at heart, I want to change the world and I have helper qualities.  For anyone who has taken a personality test and doesn’t like to be pegged to a number, this is more than labeling you into a certain category.  This book has helped me see myself the way God sees me, to not allow my flaws and inadequacies define me or make me stumble, but embrace them to be used the way God intended for them.

My flaws make me closer to God and more dependent upon Him. If I didn't have inadequacies, I wouldn't need God. Click To Tweet

I can be overly critical or judgmental of myself at times.  I constantly go over in my head how I could have done things better, how something could be improved, what I wish I would have said.  It can get tiring hearing these voices in my head over and over pointing out mistakes I’ve made, telling me whatever I did wasn’t good enough.

Sometimes I just need a break from myself and replace these nagging voices with what God says about me.   I have to be careful not to allow the inner critic in me or my constant comparison to unrealistic standards pull me down to the point I can’t hear God’s voice.  So I turn to the One who knows me best.

A Letter From Jesus:

Dear Child,  You are loved.  I want to remind you, you are good enough.  You are more than your failures, you are more than your past mistakes.  You aren’t the labels you have put on yourself.  You are definitely not the lies the enemy has told you.  You are who I say you are.  I have created you just the way you are for a reason.  Your flaws don’t define you, I do.  I will use your flaws for my greater plan.  Stay close to me.  Depend on me for all your needs.

Find refuge and peace in my presence, don’t go ahead of me.  I have the greatest plans for you.  Trust in my goodness and in what I’m able to do.  Don’t focus on your obstacles, your mistakes or flaws, stay focused on me and my purpose for you.  I will guide you if you let me.  I accept and love you for who you are.  Don’t allow your flaws to hold you back or keep you from participating in the plans I have for you. Don’t beat yourself up.  Don’t seek your value and worth in the comparison of others, find your value and worth in Me.  Be gentle and forgiving with yourself when you make mistakes.

Surround yourself with my truth in who I say you are.  I created you.  Seek your identity in me, guard yourself against the lies of the world surround yourself with my truth.  You may not be where you want to be, sweet child, this is a journey, not a race, enjoy it.  You are one of my best creations.  I find joy in you.  I will be your strength.  You are loved whether you succeed or fail.  It’s okay if things aren’t perfect.  I will use you to display my perfection. You are loved and you are good enough.  I will never leave you.  I am here for you, hold onto my promises, we will do this together.

Love, Jesus

A couple pieces of advice I give myself to help battle through the process of perfectionism are,

  1.  Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself.  I tend to be serious at times and just need to have a good ole chuckle when I do make mistakes or don’t say things perfectly.
  2. When the volume of your inner critic starts getting loud, smile and say I appreciate your help but I am learning how to accept and embrace my imperfections.  Say, “I am who God says I am, He loves me just the way I am, it’s okay if it’s not perfect.”
  3. Find a hobby you enjoy doing just because you like doing it.  I have picked up card-making (I’m not that good at it), but it’s one of those hobbies I enjoy and give myself the liberty to mess up and be okay with it, because the cards I give to people give purpose to the reformer in me, helping others when life hurts.
  4. Surround yourself with God’s word of who He says you are.  Read Scripture about who God says you are (Psalm 139:14 and 2 Timothy 1:7).  Listen to Lauren Daigle’s song, “You say,” or Hillsong’s song, “I am Who You Say I am.”  

If you know anyone who struggles with perfectionism or who they are in Christ here are other helpful articles I’ve written that have helped me in the process.

Failures Don’t Define Us

You Are Not Qualified

God is refining us.  One of the best lessons I am learning on this journey is to embrace God’s purpose for me despite my flaws and obstacles.  If you are a One on the Enneagram and can relate to this message please leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.  Authors of The Road Back to you write, “May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique, behind every facade of your life is something eternally beautiful.  May you learn to see yourself with the same delight, pride and expectation which God sees you in every moment” (Cron and Stable).

Join me in the journey of embracing who you are in Christ by taking the Free Enneagram test and reading “The Road Back to You.”  It’s not about labels but living in the healthiest version of yourself and allowing God to use all of you including your flaws.

Can you relate to this article?  Please share.  Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive a FREE mini E-book “The Jericho Prayer,” and a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

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Parts of Mark Batterson’s Whisper How to Hear the Voice of God 5-day Reading Plan from the You Version Bible reading plan were used for this post.
Cron, I. M. (2016). The road back to you: An Enneagram journey to self-discovery. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press

You Are Not Qualified

Have you ever had someone tell you, you’re not qualified? You don’t measure up?

For many years I ashamed to say, I had believed this very lie about myself.  Unfortunately, at the impressionable age of 13, I had a teacher tell me something very similar. One day in front of the entire class she had me stand up and spoke these words to me, “You’ll never amount to anything in life but a hairdresser.” And then the entire class proceeded to laugh at me. In that very moment, a lie was born.

From that point forward I believed, I’ll never amount to anything. I’ll never measure up. I’m inadequate, I’ll never be enough.  Personally, I have nothing against hairdressers, they make a very good living. However, it was the “You’ll never amount to anything” part that hurt. From that moment on, I believed a lie. I wasn’t smart, I could never achieve what other people could, all from words spoken probably from a teacher who had been hurt in life and was just taking it out on me. But at the age of 13, I was just discovering who I was. At that time I needed a teacher who believed in me, to build me up, not tear me down and crush my spirit.

I am sure the teacher that day was looking

at me from the outside, never bothering to get to know who I really was.  Her words labeled me as a ditzy girl for the rest of my middle school through high school years. I may have not always thought about what I said before I said it. I may not have come across as the most intelligent person. But that doesn’t give someone the liberty to tear them down or crush their spirit at the expense of gaining a laugh and potentially changing the trajectory of someone’s path.

Proverbs 18:20 NLT The tongue can bring death or life.

Our words have the ability to either bring life or death to another. How will we choose to use our words? To build or destroy?

Those words, sadly, paved a path of what others thought of me and they treated me as such. Looking back it didn’t matter what others thought of me. It only mattered what God thought of me. But thankfully God gave me a strong-willed spirit. Those words stirred something deep in my soul, that said, “I’ll show her.” Those words made me try harder, and more determined I wasn’t going to fail.

The human faulted flesh of mine would love to look that teacher up and give her a long list of all of my worldly successes. I would love to tell her how I exceeded well beyond her limited view of me and shame on her for picking on a kid!

I learned something very powerful from all of this. Just because a teacher said something about me, someone I trusted or valued as an authority figure doesn’t mean it’s the truth.

What she said may have been true—I’ll never measure up. But it wasn’t the truth.

It may be true I’ll never measure up to what the world says. I’ll never be enough. I’ll never be qualified. I will always be inadequate.

But thankfully I can rest in who God says I am and break free from what the world says I’ll never be. My weaknesses and flaws will never get me to where I need to go, but God’s strength will.

John 8:32 And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.Click To Tweet

By the standards of the world I’ve accomplished

many great things, but none of those compare to what God has accomplished in me. Because of God’s truth, I am set free from the lie I believed so long ago and what the world thinks. I don’t have to carry the chains of my past into my future. I believe who God says I am, the one who created me and knows me best.

I am more than the words the teacher said to me that day, I am who God says I am.

 

Have you ever been told you’ll never measure up?

I wonder if the great leaders in the Bible ever had someone tell them they’d never measure.
Moses had a stuttering and anger problem.
David had an affair and killed a man.
Jonah was stubborn and disobeyed God.
Peter denied Jesus 3 times.

And yet God still used them. We all have our flaws. We all have our inadequacies. Praise God, we can be free in who God says we are.

Listen to You Say sung by Lauren Daigle and be free in who God says you are…..

You say I am loved
You say I am strong
You say I am held
You say I am yours
I believe what you say of me……..

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3 Valuable Lessons Failure Can Teach Us

Failure.  We have all been there.  We never forget when we fail at something.  Even though it seems horrible at the time, it can be one of the best learning experiences we go through.  Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Dr. Seuss are among some of the most successful people in history who accredit their success to their previous failures.  

A failure I will never forget is the day I failed my nursing boards (this was 19 years ago).  I had studied so hard, the result was devastating.  Three valuable lessons I learned in my failure, I carry with me to this day.  

3 Valuable Lessons Failure Teaches Us
Failure:

1. Builds character– It makes us mentally tougher.  It Prepares us to be able to do hard things.  It teaches life is not easy and we have to keep trying.  Failing my boards made me try harder.  It taught me the value in working harder, pushing myself to reach my goal.  It taught me perseverance.  Perseverance teaches us how to get through tough times.  It helps prepare us for what lies ahead.  “God doesn’t care about our achievements while we’re here on this earth. He cares about our character.” by Rick Warren

2.  Never allow numbers on a piece of paper define who you are  Whether it’s a grade you receive in class, a class rank you receive or what’s in your bank account, you are more than numbers on a piece of paper.  Take that all away, you are still who you are.

Never allow present failure define future success.Click To Tweet

Failures shape our future, prepare us for what lies ahead and make us stronger.  (The enemy) wants us to believe that we are no good, not worthy and are not able to do it.  Just because one door has closed doesn’t mean another one won’t open up.  Sometimes our failures will lead us to better paths ahead.  Allow failure to Shape your future, not define it.  

3.  Never allow failure to stop you from moving forward or accomplishing your goals.  The best way to respond to failure, is to ask, ‘What can I learn from this?’  Apply it and Keep Going. How many times did the Apostle Paul get thrown into jail and was persecuted for what he believed?  A lot.  He could have looked at his many situations as failures.  That never stopped him to on Keep Going.  He didn’t look at his situation as failure, but as an opportunity to learn, become stronger and persevere.    

God always has something better ahead. A closed door now doesn't mean another one won't open in the future. Click To Tweet

Hard work, perseverance and commitment, pays off in the long run.  You never know where your failures might lead you.  Looking back, I realized how important the lessons I learned from failing.  I learned failure….  

  • Prepared me for my future.  
  • How God used it and turned it into something better.  

I went on to obtain my Masters Degree in Nurse Anesthesia.  After the failed nursing board attempt, I never failed another test again.

I have been a nurse for 19 years, not once has a patient asked me, What grade did you get in Anatomy Class?  Did you graduate Summa Cum Laude?  Or did you pass your nursing boards the first time?  What a patient will ask you, is how long have you been a nurse?  They care about my experience and will I take good care of them, not if I’m valedictorian.  
Patients grade me on how I treat them, which is the most important grade I could ever receive.  

You are Important, Worthy and Valuable.  No matter what another person says or what failure has occurred, You Matter.  You are God’s workmanship.  He created you with a Purpose, not to be defeated but to to be Victorious.  He designed you to Succeed.  Even if you fail Now, it doesn’t mean you won’t succeed in the Future.  God will use your failures for future successes.  Take this from someone who has been on the other side of failure.  

Has Failure been apart of Your Life?

In What Ways has Failure Helped Shape Your Future?

Has God used your Failure and turned it into something Better? 

Don’t Give up, Don’t lose hope, Keep Going.  “For I know the Plans for you, plans to prosper you not to harm, but to give you Hope.”  Jerimiah 29:11 NIV

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Breaking the Cycle of Prayerlessness

Over the past year, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching and research about prayer.  I’ve been reading books, learning what the Bible says about prayer, I made a prayer closet (underneath my stairs), I’m involved with the prayer team and pray with prayer partners.  In all my research and time in prayer, I’ve discovered Satan desires our mouths to be kept shut and our voices to be silent to keep us in states of prayerlessness.

WHY?

Because nothing defeats the enemy more than when we are prayerful!

So How Do We Break the Cycle of Prayerlessness in Our Lives?

In the book by Beth Moore, “Breaking Free,”  she states, “What victory the enemy has in winning us over to prayerlessness!”  The enemy knows prayerful lives are powerful lives and prayerless lives are powerless lives.  We can identify what is keeping us from prayer, by asking ourselves these tough questions.

  1.  Do we depend on God for our needs?  Prayer is our lifeline to God.  No prayer, no relationship.  Maybe you’ve been praying a prayer for a long time and wondered is God listening or even care?  How long have you prayed for your request?  Do you pray for your request regularly, over a period of time?  Our prayers don’t change God’s heart, they change our hearts.  We don’t know when God will answer our prayers but don’t give up, that’s exactly what the enemy wants us to do.  Keep Praying!
  2. Do You Allow the Enemy to Keep You Silent?  The enemy would like nothing more than for us to stop praying.  When we stop praying we are fulfilling the enemy’s plan.  Satan wants to fill our minds with his lies of doubt, worry, and defeat.  These are the tactics he uses to keep us silent.  Don’t let him.  Instead of worrying, pray about it.  Give it to God.
  3. God’s will or my will?   When we pray, ask God is this your will or my will?  We have to ask ourselves, is the request we’re praying appropriate or selfish?  Am I praying with the right attitude and motive?  Is the timing right?  Just because we don’t hear God’s answer right away, God might be saying not yet.  We must be patient for HIS perfect timing.  In our patience, God grows the greatest blessings.
  4. Are there Prayer Obstacles in Your Life?  In the book Too Busy Not To Pray, Billy Hybels, talks about prayer blockers in our lives.  He challenges us to look within and ask ourselves are there problems in my life?  If the answer is yes, chances are there is a prayer obstacle present.  Maybe we don’t see God answering our prayers because he is trying to illuminate hidden areas of our hearts that are getting in the way of HIM.
  • Is there un-forgiveness or unconfessed sins in your life?  Isaiah 59:2, Micah 6:8.  Unforgiveness and unconfessed sins contaminate our hearts and prayers.  When un-forgiveness resides in our hearts and lives we will never reach the full potential of what God desires for us.  We must forgive and receive God’s forgiveness for our hearts to be clean and hear HIS voice.
  • Are we being selfish or prideful? James 4:3.  Are we asking God with the wrong motives for personal gain?  Are our prayers making God famous or ourselves?  Pride will be the death of us.  It will keep us from crying out for help from our Savior.  Pride keeps us blind to God’s presence and deaf to HIS voice.  Is there pride in your life?
  • Do we have inadequate faith?  James 1:5-8.  Do we believe in our own abilities or God’s?  Do we look for more evidence for him to prove to us the power HE already has?  Do we believe we are praying to a God who is able to do anything?
  • What is the attitude of our hearts?  Proverbs 21:13.  Do we have an uncaring attitude?  God cares about the condition of our hearts and what they are filled with.  He cares about developing our character which reflects HIM.  What is the attitude of your heart when you pray?
  • Are there broken relationships in your life?  Matthew 5:23-24, John 2:9.  Is there any unresolved conflict in your life?  Satan desires to cause division among us, fight with one another and take us away from God’s plan for unity.  Satan knows we are weaker when we are alone.  We are stronger together in numbers.  God desires us to live in community and harmony with one another, not alone and isolated.

Ephesians 4:31

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.Click To Tweet

Pride, anger, malice, deceit, unforgiveness, and selfishness will always get in the way of our prayers and God’s plan for us.  Don’t allow the enemy to use his tactics against you.  Don’t let him win the victory in our prayerlessness.

Is there Prayerlessness in your life?

Are there prayer obstacles in your life?

Get rid of the prayer obstacles by identifying what they are.  Break the cycle of prayerlessness by asking yourself these tough questions above.  Prayer is a way to search and soften our hearts, get rid of sin, grow, reconcile relationships, change our attitude and get out of the ugly cycle of prayerlessness.

Once prayer obstacles are out of the way, it clears the way for God to answer our prayers in the way He desires and breaks the cycle of prayerlessness.  

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“Too Busy Not To Pray,”  by Billy Hybels
“Breaking Free” by Beth Moore

Praying Through Blind spots

When I was a teenager I endured an eye injury which left permanent damage. As a result, I have a huge deficit in my peripheral vision, leaving me with a permanent blind spot. When I’m driving I’m extra cautious of this blind spot for fear that I may not see oncoming cars because of my deficit.

My physical blind spot makes me think are there other blind spots in my life I’m not aware of?

The funny thing about blind spots, is we can’t see them—then how do we detect them?

One person in the Bible reminds me what can happen if we allow blind spots to go undetected.

King David a man who went from a shepherd boy to warrior, to a commander, to a king—had a huge blind spot. David was known for his tremendous faith in God and had everything he could have ever wanted, wives, power, a kingdom, wealth, victories, a palace, even the anointing of God (1 Sam. 16:13).

David was at the top of his game, at the peak of his career and in favor with God—“What could go wrong?”

These are the times when blind spots can get the best of us.

In 2 Samuel 11:2, David merely got up in the night, walked around on his roof probably just to get some fresh air, when he saw a beautiful woman bathing. David was so intrigued by this woman he sent someone to inquire about her to find out her name was Bathsheba and was married to Uriah one of his commanders. He then sent a messenger to get her, she came to him and he slept with her (2 Sam. 11:3-4).

Needless to say, David had a huge blind spot in his life. His blind spot didn’t allow him to see he was flirting with seduction that brought him to the edge of a very slippery slope.

In that one action of inquiring about Bathsheba, David’s lustful blindspot caused him to commit adultery, lie, cover up his lie by murdering Bathsheba’s husband and stealing someone else’s wife. He ended up breaking 4 out of the 10 commandments and displeased the Lord (2 Sam. 11:27).

We can only speculate, but what if David at that moment he saw Bathsheba stopped to pray before responding out of his lustful desires? I think his situation would have been drastically different.

David eventually asked for forgiveness but not until God sent the Prophet Nathan to talk some sense into him (2 Sam 12:1,13). Nathan used a striking parable about a rich and poor man to reveal the atrocity of David’s actions (2 Sam. 12:1-5). It wasn’t until Nathan spoke the truth in love (Eph. 4:15) to David that his eyes were open to his secretive evil deeds and shed light on his blind spot.

Can you imagine the amount of courage it took Nathan to boldly come before King David, one of the most powerful men at the time?

Nathan could have been killed for being so bold. Nathan knew David was a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14) who had a blind spot. But God gave Nathan the wisdom to use the parable to lovingly speak the truth to David, so his blindspot wouldn’t destroy him again.

Our blind spots leave a door open for the enemy who prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour, to get into our lives (1 Peter 5:8).

Like David, we too can fall victim to our blind spots if we’re not careful.Click To Tweet

How can we detect blindspots?

By seeking God in prayer and asking Him to reveal our blind spots.

By allowing others to speak the truth in love into our lives—so our blind spots can be brought to our attention.

We may not be able to see our blind spots, but God can. Our blind spots help us to constantly seek him for guidance and lead us straight on our paths.

Are there blind spots in your life?

We all have blind spots. Some of us might have blind spots in our finances, with self-control or in how we treat others. They may not all be the same but it is a part of our human nature not to be able to see everything that God sees. When we can’t see, God is the light on our paths.

Do you have a Nathan in your life that you allow to speak the truth into your life?

I am afraid of where my blindspots can lead me if I don’t let others bring them to my attention. To stay alert and aware I ask God to reveal any blind spots and if there is anything in my life that is getting in the way of God. I ask Him to expose and my blind spots making them visible with His light—so that everything that is illuminated becomes a light” (Eph. 5:13).

Imagine if David didn’t allow Nathan to bring his blind spot to his attention?

I love how David allowed Nathan to speak truth into his life and didn’t allow his blindspot cause his downfall again. He surrendered it all to God and turned his sorrow into praise. God then used David to be apart of his greatest plan ever—the bloodline to Jesus.

I also love how David dedicated the rest of his life to prayer by writing the most poetic prayers in the Psalms. I can’t help to think when David wrote Psalms 86 he was referring to the moment that almost destroyed him.

A prayer from David.

“Lord you are forgiving and good abounding in love to all who call to you. Hear my prayer Lord: listen to my cry for mercy. When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me. Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.” (Psalms 86:5-6,11-13)

Lord Jesus, please expose our blind spots with your light, so they don’t cause us to stand on slippery slopes. Help us to keep seeking you for discernment and wisdom when making choices and decisions. Help us to allow others to speak the truth in love into our lives. Help us to stay in your will and plan for our lives so we aren’t flirting with disaster. You are greater and able to see so much more than we can. Help us to trust in you even when we can’t see. We praise you, Lord. In Jesus name. Amen.

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