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The Difference Between React and Respond

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The other day I was scrolling through my Instagram feed after a very divided nation was arguing each of their sides to the issue of a recent Supreme Court ruling.  I was taken back by the comments and reactions of each side.  This isn’t the first time our nation has been divided on how to handle the care of human life nor will it be the last.  The question we can ask ourselves in these times of heated debate is, how will the outcome be most beneficial, in our reactions or our response?

The Difference Between React and Respond

Life if 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.' Quote Charles R. Swindoll Click To Tweet

In our reactions we will always stay in the argument, the debate will never end because reactions are fueled with our emotions.  The enemy would like nothing more than for us to stay in our reactions, because in our reactions is how the enemy distracts us and keeps us in the argument and chaos.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of react is:  “to exert a reciprocal or counteracting force or influence —often used with on or upon.  2: to change in response to a stimulus.  3: to act in opposition to a force or influence —usually used with against  4: to move or tend in a reverse direction.”  

To react is to respond without thinking, is impulsive, immediate, and chases our emotions.  Our reactions are usually driven by our fears, attached to unmet expectations, and are short-sighted not able to rationally see the entire perspective of our situation.  As you can see in the definition, to react is usually a negative response in opposition of something.

Definition of respond: “to say something in return : make an answer respond to criticism 2a: to react in response to a call for help b: to show favorable reaction, respond to surgery. 3: to be answerable” 
In the Bible, when Jesus was presented with a situation, he responded not reacted.  One of the greatest examples of this, is the woman’s life he spared from stoning in John 8.  When the Pharisees brought an adulterous woman to Jesus, they wanted Him to react to her sin and make an example of her to others.  But Jesus doesn’t react, He responds to what the woman needs, His grace.  According to the Jewish Law of Consequence this woman deserved to be stoned publicly to shame her for what she had done.  But Jesus shows a new way, one that forgives and restores, that doesn’t codon or condemn.
Jesus responds with, 'Let him who is without sin among you, 'be the first to throw a stone at her.'' John 8:7 Click To Tweet
Jesus then stood up and said, “‘Where are they?’  ‘Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.”  And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you;  and from now on, ‘sin no more.'” (John 8:10-11).
Jesus didn’t react to the woman’s sin, he responded to her deepest need.  The Pharisees wanted Jesus to react to what this woman deserved.  But this is where the enemy will entrap us to react, to cast stones at someone’s behavior, to keep us in a cycle to constantly throw stones at one another.  Jesus breaks the cycle and doesn’t respond to the crazy, but sets a new path to enter into his healing grace.
The response is intentional, delayed, comes from a place of love and respect, rational, comes from self-control, and thinks about the long-term picture.  From the definition, to respond is to show a favorable reaction.  There will always be something we don’t agree with.  An argument.  A debate.  We have to ask ourselves what is the outcome we desire?  My desire is that everyone I know, knows the love of Jesus and one day I will see them in heaven.  Life is too short and precious to spend it arguing especially with loved ones.  Is my opinion and battle to be right the desire I want?  Not Really. We all want to be seen and heard.  We get lost in the fight to be right and miss out on God’s victory, a battle he’s already fought and won.
If there is one thing I hear Jesus telling me, is my role is to be the vessel, the messenger.  My job is to bring the loaves of bread and fish, Jesus will feed the 5,000.  My role is to show people the love of Jesus, not to cast stones.  My purpose is to step out of the boat, not to sit there and wait until the storm is over to respond to what is happening in the world.  I may get wet or even sink but Jesus will be there to hold my hand.  I don’t have to like or agree with what everyone is doing, but I am called to love others no matter who they are or what they have done.  We are all sinners and don’t deserve what Jesus has done for us, his gift is for everyone, we don’t have to earn it.  The love of Jesus is for everyone.
Next time you see a post you don’t like or agree with, Ask God:

How should I respond?

What is the outcome you desire?

Will people see Jesus in my reaction or my response?

We may not have control over our situations, but we can control how we react or respond to our situations.  Jesus came so we could have life and have it to the full.  We miss out on His abundance when we allow our reactions to have the best of us.  If we don’t control our reactions, our reactions will control us.  How can you respond today to a situation you don’t like?  We are able to have peace and serenity restored when our response is driven by God’s love.

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Other Posts You May Like:

Why We Should Let Go of the Miracle

When Unconditional Love is the Outcome

3 Myths About Dysfunction That Keep You STUCK

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If you’re anything like me, at one point in your life dysfunction has served some sort of role in your life.  Maybe for a short while, or maybe it’s still a struggle.  Whatever role dysfunction has played in your life, our dysfunction doesn’t disqualify us, make us incompetent or inadequate, it makes us human.  We all have had dysfunction in our lives and most of us probably still do.  But that doesn’t mean we are less than or unable to still be used by God in a mighty way.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve had so much dysfunction in my life, I could write a book about it.  Growing up when we had problems we didn’t really talk about them.  God and good counselors have helped me so much in my journey in learning how to deal with my problems in a healthier way.  I actually didn’t know I had developed an unhealthy coping mechanism of codependency as a way to get my needs met.  I was very dependent on people to receive my approval, praise, and worthiness.

'For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.' Galatians 1:10 Click To Tweet

At one point I was a big time people pleaser.  I also felt very validated if I could rescue, fix, or solve someone else’s problems, because then I didn’t have to focus on my own problems.  Along the way I found some eye opening discoveries about my dysfunction that kept me stuck in my circumstances.  Here are 3 myths about my dysfunction I would like to share with you.

3 Myths About Dysfunction That Keep You STUCK:

 MYTH #1–Dysfunction is functional- This is very true for someone who lives in dysfunction.  Dysfunction serves us all well until it doesn’t.  In fact, sometimes we don’t even realize something is dysfunctional in our lives, until it is no longer functional!  The enemy would like nothing more than to keep us hidden in our patterns of dysfunction and tell us these patterns are totally NORMAL. These patterns keep us stuck and hidden from God’s plan for us.  Dysfunction keeps us in chaos, making it hard to hear God’s voice and plan over our lives.  It’s not until dysfunction starts crumbling all around us and we slowly get out of the chaos can we hear and see more clearly, that dysfunction does not serve us well over time.  Over time, dysfunction can become very comfortable for us, making it difficult to detach from it because it’s what we know.  Learning how to separate from your dysfunction can be one of the most loving things you do for yourself.  Detaching from the chaos will help one learn  healthier ways to deal with problems instead of reverting back to unhealthy dysfunctional patterns.  Letting go of codependency or dysfunctional patterns may feel overwhelming at first, but this is the first step in allowing God to refine and renew us for His eternal plans.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

MYTH #2–Dysfunction is Absent from my life.  Can we say denial?  The absence of dysfunction doesn’t mean dysfunction is absent.  I’ll never forget a forensics file episode I watched.  The detective said, ‘the absence of evidence, doesn’t mean that evidence is absent.’  That statement was so profound to me–just because we don’t see the evidence doesn’t mean someone didn’t try to wipe away or clean up the evidence.  Trying to get rid of evidence doesn’t negate a crime happened.  Just like our lives, we can become really good at hiding and ‘cleaning up the crime scene,’ to look really good on the outside but that doesn’t mean dysfunction isn’t still lying underneath the surface.  We can fake it till we make it all we want, but that doesn’t mean our dysfunctional problems will go away if we don’t address them!  Just because we can’t see or recognize our dysfunction, doesn’t mean it’s not there.  The enemy uses dysfunction in our lives to keep us blind and deaf, to not really see or hear God clearly.  This is why it’s so important to stay close to God.  Draw near to Him by reading the Bible and praying.  Knowing what His truth is will set us free every time.

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”  Galatians 5:1

MYTH #3–I’m too dysfunctional to be helped- This couldn’t be further from the truth.  If this were true, Jesus would have never came and died on the cross for us.  No one is ever too dysfunctional to receive mercy and forgiveness from our Savior.  Sometimes we can feel so overwhelmed in our dysfunction, that we don’t even know where to begin, and think why bother it will never get better.  This is a lie the enemy would like us to believe, that we are hopeless, not worth rescuing or saving, that we will never be good enough.  It may be true we have dysfunction and make mistakes, but what we do isn’t who we are.  Our dysfunction is an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus.  Our dependence in Him in what He’s able to do, helps us rely on His strength, not our own and trusts He is able.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”  Galatians 2:20

Stepping into a place of vulnerability where our dysfunction is revealed can be a scary place to be!  Because that means we have to deal with ourselves and may have to do a lot of work to unravel the mess.  There is no one else I’d rather unravel my mess and peel back the layers of dysfunction with than Jesus.  He knows how to refine, restore, and renew me.

When we allow Jesus into our messes and dysfunction we become crucified in Him. It is no longer us who lives, but Him who lives in us. You are loved, friend! Click To Tweet

Are there dysfunctional patterns that have served you well?

How has dysfunction kept you stuck?

What is one action step you can take today that steps out of dysfunction into God’s presence?

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You Have Arrived

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Congratulations!  You have officially arrived in 2019!  The New Year always makes me reflect.  No one had to do anything to arrive into the New Year it just came.  No one had to work for it or even ask directions how to get there.  We just woke up and it was here.

Getting directions in this day and age has come a long way.  When I was a kid, there weren’t navigation systems in cars, GPS on phones or even SIRI to tell you how to get where you needed to go.  There wasn’t even the internet to google directions.  We had to rely on the verbal directions of the person giving them either from a friend or a gas station attendant.  We had physical maps we looked at and mapped out our routes.  We had to write directions down with a pen and paper and trust in our own navigation skills and that directions were correct.

Nowadays we don’t have to rely on such antiquated methods of obtaining directions.  We have Google maps and SIRI to take us there.  But sometimes Google maps and SIRI don’t always know exactly how to get where you need to go.  When I type in the address for directions sure they can tell me the fastest route, if there is traffic and other routes to go to avoid it.  If I miss a turn GPS can redirect my route.  They can also tell me how much longer it will take to get there and when I arrive.

Have you ever plugged in the address of your desired location and GPS says you have arrived, yet you are still lost?

You don’t see the location.  You can’t quite figure out where the entrance is.  You’re yelling at your phone, I haven’t arrived!  I’m still not here!  Please get me there!  Can anyone relate?

These scenarios make me realize I put way too much trust in my phone getting me to where I need to go without checking if the directions are correct myself.  The other day my GPS took me to the right location, but guess what.  There was no way to access into the entrance because I was behind the building with no way to get in.

These times show me when I place the trust in myself or technology that might not always be right, I will always be lost.  I will always be seeking how to get in.  I will always be turning around circling and searching.

This may sound cliché, but when we follow Jesus, He knows the way and will always get us to where we need to go.

'Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' John 14:6Click To Tweet

We can trust when we plug in the address to where we want to go, we can trust Jesus knows the directions of how to get there!  He can tell us the best route, how long it will take us to get there and if there are any obstacles in the way.  And He will most definitely tell us when we have arrived.

Sometimes the directions He gives might take us on detours, may be a little bumpy, but know He knows best to get us to where we need to go safely.

Another cliché Bible verse that shouldn’t be overlooked is Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”

Trusting in God by allowing Him to lead the way, submitting to the way He desires to take you, makes the road a little bit straighter and more direct.  Sometimes we are the ones causing the obstacle and question God why am I not arriving to where I need to go?  Then God gently redirects us around the obstacles before us, rerouting us down an even better road even in our stubbornness and disobedience.

God blesses the broken roads.

Even when we mess up. God loves us, pursues us and gently redirects us and says, 'This way child. Follow Me, I know the Way.' Click To Tweet

We all have the same opportunity of starting over and being intentional in this new year.

I don’t know what your goals are this year, but a good goal to set is, follow God’s directions.  Let Him be the Navigator.  It’s not about our performance, how fast we get somewhere, it’s about our surrender.  God doesn’t care how perfect we are He cares about the condition of our hearts.

Maybe you haven’t arrived to where you want to be in life.  Or God hasn’t given you the directions yet.  Maybe we’re not plugging in the right address.  Maybe we are still trying to do it our own way.  Are you tired of driving around in circles, feeling like you will never arrive?  Maybe we should ask ourselves these hard questions and trust in the One who knows the way.  I promise when we do we will arrive at the exact time God desires.

What address are you plugging in?

Will you allow God to lead you down the best road ever?

Did you enjoy this blog post? Please share with others! Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive a FREE E-book, “The Jericho Prayer” and a weekly Monday Message.  Like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

I would love to hear from you! Leave your comments below!  Happy New Year!

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When Fear Surrounds Us

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It’s almost a new year!  Many of us are excited to start a fresh new year.  Whatever the expectation the new year brings for you, it may bring many fears that can be overwhelming.

I recently had the opportunity to embark on a cruise with 29 of my family members and 5,000 other people cruising around the Caribbean sea.  This was my first Caribbean cruise.  I don’t know if cruising is your thing, but it made me uncomfortable knowing I was in the middle of the ocean with that many people. When I did the calculations, there are not enough boats for everyone if for some reason the ship sank.  Let’s just say it was unsettling for me.

Don’t know if you are one of those ‘What if’ people, I am typically not, however, I am married to one.  I usually don’t think about all the scenarios of ‘what if,’ but when you are surrounded by lots of people and water it makes your mind start going in that direction especially when you watch those movies where the ship sinks or people get eaten by sharks.

Ok, I promise I’ll stop.

But seriously have you ever been in that kind of life or death situation?  Like the scene in the Poseidon movie when Josh Lucas, Richard Dreyfus, and the young gal are debating whether they should stay in the room with the flooding water or go towards the vents which they didn’t know where they led fearing they might get stuck?  Everywhere they looked their options went from bad to worse.  If they stayed they would have drowned if they went forward they still may die, but it was their only option for a possible way out.

Maybe we haven’t been in a scenario as drastic as the Poseidon movie where our lives depended on it.  But we all have been in situations when we open our eyes and all we see is the fear that surrounds us.  It doesn’t matter which way we look it’s there and we can’t escape it.  I don’t know about you, but when I live in the ‘what if’ and look for the ‘bad’ things to happen, fear gets the best of me.  When my focus is on the fear, fear is all I see.

We may not like our situations. We may not choose them. But know it could always be worse. Click To Tweet

Maybe you are in a situation like the scene on the ship, if you stay you’ll drown but if you go forward, there is fear of the unknown of not knowing how it will all turn out.

When we let go of our fears and release them to God, we allow Him to take care of them instead of trying to control the situation ourselves.  He is our way out.  Our fears will always squash our hopes, our joy, and growth because we are trusting in what we see and not in what God is able to do.

The verse in Isaiah, I’m reminded of what God was able to accomplish through the Israelites when they trusted in Him.  They saw the enemy armies attacking, coming at them full force and God said, “The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still” (Exodus 14:14).  He then provided a way out for them when he parted The Red Sea when they trusted in Him.

I’m reminded what God did for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace when they stood up against Nebuchadnezzar.  They refused to take orders from the king and only would obey their one true king–God.  When they stood their ground, God protected them when they were thrown into the blazing furnace.  Not a hair on their body was singed nor did they smell like smoke.  God protected them in their obedience.

When we put our trust in God in what He is able to do and keep our eyes on Him we’ll be protected even when our fear surrounds us.

'I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken (Psalm 16:8).Click To Tweet

When Jesus lives in our hearts, we are not exempt from having fear or bad things from happening to us.  We are able to be protected from our troubling circumstances when we stand in His presence, focus on God’s power, trust in Him and obey.

Are you surrounded by fear?

Do you trust God with your fears?

Are you hoping to get rid of fear in the New Year?

This New Year, take a deep breath, close your eyes and focus on the One who is able to do the impossible.  Trust in Him.  Allow Him to lead you, He knows the way out.  You are loved, my friend!

Did you enjoy this blog post? Please share with others! Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive the FREE E-Book “The Jericho Prayer,” and a weekly Monday Message.  Like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

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My Guardian Angel

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This post is very different from what I normally post.  I hope you enjoy this true story of a guardian angel that saved my son’s life.

Do you believe in guardian angels? I will never forget the time I was a new mother to our newborn son and two-year-old daughter. My husband and I were invited to a friend’s cabin in the mountains for a work barbeque. We decided we would make the trip to go even though our son was only 2 weeks old. He had been sleeping well and thought it would be a good idea to get out of the house. When we arrived, there were quite a few people there already. When I walked inside, I was carrying our son in his infant car seat carrier and placed him on top of the glass coffee table in the living room.

After placing him on top of the table, I immediately heard an inner voice tell me, take him off the table and place him on the floor. At the time I was a tired mother to a baby and a toddler and wasn’t getting much sleep.  Even in my tiredness, I listened to this voice and immediately placed our son on the floor a few feet away from the table, still asleep in his carrier.  Five seconds later, the nine-foot ceiling fan right above the table came crashing down, landing in the same exact spot our son had just been on the table. The fan shattered the coffee table glass with shards of glass landing all around the table and the room (right where my son was sleeping).

I was shocked, startled and concerned the glass had landed on our son. The loud crash didn’t wake my son, nor did he even react.  As I inspected closer, the shattered glass laid all around his car seat. To my surprise, there was not one piece of glass on our son or even in his car seat!

It as if a guardian angel had placed a shield over our son that protected him from the flying glass that day because there is no other explanation of why the glass was everywhere except on him. Everyone who had witnessed the ceiling fan crashing down from the ceiling knew our son was in the very same spot only seconds earlier before the fan came crashing down. Those in the room kept saying “The baby was just on that table!” They were in disbelief because they knew what they saw. They knew there were shards of glass everywhere. They knew they just witnessed a potential disaster that could have ended very badly. Everyone was concerned and asked if our baby was okay. To their surprise, we told them he was okay and was not harmed from the glass.

I was so thankful I had listened to that inner voice that day. I truly believe God was looking out for us by sending us a guardian angel. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if I didn’t listen to that voice and if I had left our son on the table. There is no other way to explain how he was kept safe other than God was with us.

I will always remember this day as one of God’s miracles. It is His reminder to me that he is with us no matter what. This day opened my eyes to see many of God’s miracles all around us every day. Some of His miracles may not be as obvious as saving a baby from a crashing ceiling fan, but have made me look around to see his miracles are everywhere! His miracles are in a baby’s smile, a child’s laugh, a beautiful sunrise, and even in my drive to work. His miracles are my children and my husband, and I am so blessed and honored to be a part of their lives!

Our son is now 9 years old and we tell him the story how God sent a guardian angel to save him from the crashing ceiling fan and shards of glass. We also use it as a lesson about listening to that inner voice that tells you when something is not right, to obey immediately, ask questions later or it could end in disaster!

Blake’s response was ‘I am so glad you listened to God’s voice mommy or the ceiling fan would have fallen on me!’ That day definitely caught my attention. Even in my tired state, it showed me how important it is to stay alert, not delay when I hear a prompting from God. Even though I didn’t realize at the time but now know it was God keeping us safe. I am so thankful for guardian angels!

'Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me.' Psalm 138:7Click To Tweet

Do you believe in God’s miracles?

Do you have a guardian angel story?  Please share!

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Yes Lord

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“God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called” quote Mark Batterson.  

          Has God ever asked you do something that didn’t make sense?

About 2,000 years ago Jesus was looking to qualify the called.  He was starting his ministry on earth calling His first disciples.  He saw some fisherman fishing alongside a lake.  He then told them take the boat, out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch (Luke 5:4).  

Simon, the boat owner said to  Jesus, “We’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything.  But because you say so, I will let down the nets” (Luke 5:5).  Then something amazing happened.  Their nets began to break and their boats began to sink because they had caught so many fish (Luke 5:6-7).  

Simon and all his companions couldn’t believe what they had just witnessed.  They had been fishing all night, then Jesus came along and changed everything.  Simon fell to his knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord;  I am a sinful man!”  Simon knew he had witnessed something great and felt unworthy to be in the presence of Jesus.

Jesus said, “Come, follow me, and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him.”  Matthew 4:18-20

In just three words Jesus changed the lives of these fishermen forever.  The disciples were busy making a living catching fish, then Jesus came along and said, “Come follow me,” you are now going to catch men.  Without hesitation in the both gospels of Matthew and Luke, the men dropped their nets, pulled in their boats to shore, left everything (their families, their businesses) to go follow Jesus.  

I have thought about this scenario many times. 

Why do you think God allowed these men to experience what it was like to catch the biggest catch of fish ever in their lives, to then tell them to drop their nets and walk away from everything they once knew?

This amount of fish could have made lots of money to feed their families and then some.  The fishermen prior to this had only been loosely associated with Jesus.  Jesus allowed the disciples to have a taste worldly abundance, so they would know nothing in this life could ever bless them more abundantly than what God could provide.  Dropping their nets and walking away led to the most extraordinary life ever in Jesus. 

What would you do if Jesus came along and asked you to drop everything to come follow Him?  Would you say ‘yes’?  

What courageous faith, trust and obedience these men had to just walk away.  We may not always know what lies ahead but God does. 

I can so relate to the disciples.  Three years ago God asked my husband and I, “Will you walk away?”  He said, “I know your life is comfortable, but will you leave all of your family, friends, your jobs and your life, to come follow me?”  

I’ll be honest at first, our response was ‘wow God that’s asking a lot.’  There were a lot of unknowns, where would we go?  Where would we live?  Where would we work?   When God asked us to walk away, He already orchestrated the plan, we just had to follow.  

Once we said ‘Yes Lord,’ God started opening the doors to where He was leading us.  We didn’t need to know how every detail was going to work out, because God had it under control.  We knew where God was leading us may be uncomfortable at first learning how to live in our new life.  But, we knew whatever abundant blessings we had in our comfortable life couldn’t compare to what God had in store for us.  Saying ‘yes’ to Jesus was the best decision we ever made.

His abundant blessings are always greater.  

Saying ‘Yes Lord,’ allows for God’s biggest blessings to overflow within our lives. 

Saying ‘Yes Lord,’ to whatever He is asking us to do will always leads to the most extraordinary life in Him.

Has God ever asked you to walk away and come follow Him?  

God is calling all of us to have the most extraordinary life in Him.  We don’t have to be extraordinary to do what God is asking us to do, we just have to be ready. 

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 5:3

Coming Soon!  Some new changes to the website.  I will be doing a 4-part series of Meeting Jesus.  We will be meeting Jesus in the scriptures, our struggles, our storms and everyday lives.    

It’s all about meeting Jesus right where we are.  In Him we will have life to the full that is complete and everlasting.  Have a blessed week!

Did you enjoy this blogpost? Please share with others!  Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox?  Subscribe to my blog and receive a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts. I would love to hear from you!  Leave your comments below!

Celebrate Easter with Jesus with this Family Bible Reading Plan!