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A Letter From Jesus: A note to my inner Enneagram

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This year has been a really hard year for me in regard to discovering things about myself I never knew.  It’s been a year God has been using to grow me in ways I never knew I needed.  I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, reading and just spending time with God.  I’ve read books like “Kill the Spider,” “Soul Detox,” “Nehemiah,” and “The Road Back to You.”   Based on the titles of these books you can guess what kind of person I am, which ironically I didn’t know about myself until just recently–I’m a perfectionist.  Anyone who knows me would say, ‘there’s no way you’re a perfectionist’ based on what they see outwardly, but inwardly quite frankly, I beat myself up every day.

In Kill The Spider, I learned I need to kill the spider creating cobwebs in my life.  If I never target the very thing creating the mess, the mess will just keep reoccurring over and over.

In Soul Detox, I learned I need to get rid of the things contaminating my life, whether it be relationships, things in my environment, or what I’m goes into my ears and eyes, holding onto things that are toxic will only make for more toxicity.

In The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, I learned I am a one with a two-wing, which in enneagram language means I am a reformer at heart, I want to change the world and I have helper qualities.  For anyone who has taken a personality test and doesn’t like to be pegged to a number, this is more than labeling you into a certain category.  This book has helped me see myself the way God sees me, to not allow my flaws and inadequacies define me or make me stumble, but embrace them to be used the way God intended for them.

My flaws make me closer to God and more dependent upon Him. If I didn't have inadequacies, I wouldn't need God. Click To Tweet

I can be overly critical or judgmental of myself at times.  I constantly go over in my head how I could have done things better, how something could be improved, what I wish I would have said.  It can get tiring hearing these voices in my head over and over pointing out mistakes I’ve made, telling me whatever I did wasn’t good enough.

Sometimes I just need a break from myself and replace these nagging voices with what God says about me.   I have to be careful not to allow the inner critic in me or my constant comparison to unrealistic standards pull me down to the point I can’t hear God’s voice.  So I turn to the One who knows me best.

A Letter From Jesus:

Dear Child,  You are loved.  I want to remind you, you are good enough.  You are more than your failures, you are more than your past mistakes.  You aren’t the labels you have put on yourself.  You are definitely not the lies the enemy has told you.  You are who I say you are.  I have created you just the way you are for a reason.  Your flaws don’t define you, I do.  I will use your flaws for my greater plan.  Stay close to me.  Depend on me for all your needs.

Find refuge and peace in my presence, don’t go ahead of me.  I have the greatest plans for you.  Trust in my goodness and in what I’m able to do.  Don’t focus on your obstacles, your mistakes or flaws, stay focused on me and my purpose for you.  I will guide you if you let me.  I accept and love you for who you are.  Don’t allow your flaws to hold you back or keep you from participating in the plans I have for you. Don’t beat yourself up.  Don’t seek your value and worth in the comparison of others, find your value and worth in Me.  Be gentle and forgiving with yourself when you make mistakes.

Surround yourself with my truth in who I say you are.  I created you.  Seek your identity in me, guard yourself against the lies of the world surround yourself with my truth.  You may not be where you want to be, sweet child, this is a journey, not a race, enjoy it.  You are one of my best creations.  I find joy in you.  I will be your strength.  You are loved whether you succeed or fail.  It’s okay if things aren’t perfect.  I will use you to display my perfection. You are loved and you are good enough.  I will never leave you.  I am here for you, hold onto my promises, we will do this together.

Love, Jesus

A couple pieces of advice I give myself to help battle through the process of perfectionism are,

  1.  Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself.  I tend to be serious at times and just need to have a good ole chuckle when I do make mistakes or don’t say things perfectly.
  2. When the volume of your inner critic starts getting loud, smile and say I appreciate your help but I am learning how to accept and embrace my imperfections.  Say, “I am who God says I am, He loves me just the way I am, it’s okay if it’s not perfect.”
  3. Find a hobby you enjoy doing just because you like doing it.  I have picked up card-making (I’m not that good at it), but it’s one of those hobbies I enjoy and give myself the liberty to mess up and be okay with it, because the cards I give to people give purpose to the reformer in me, helping others when life hurts.
  4. Surround yourself with God’s word of who He says you are.  Read Scripture about who God says you are (Psalm 139:14 and 2 Timothy 1:7).  Listen to Lauren Daigle’s song, “You say,” or Hillsong’s song, “I am Who You Say I am.”  

If you know anyone who struggles with perfectionism or who they are in Christ here are other helpful articles I’ve written that have helped me in the process.

Failures Don’t Define Us

You Are Not Qualified

God is refining us.  One of the best lessons I am learning on this journey is to embrace God’s purpose for me despite my flaws and obstacles.  If you are a One on the Enneagram and can relate to this message please leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.  Authors of The Road Back to you write, “May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique, behind every facade of your life is something eternally beautiful.  May you learn to see yourself with the same delight, pride and expectation which God sees you in every moment” (Cron and Stable).

Join me in the journey of embracing who you are in Christ by taking the Free Enneagram test and reading “The Road Back to You.”  It’s not about labels but living in the healthiest version of yourself and allowing God to use all of you including your flaws.

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Parts of Mark Batterson’s Whisper How to Hear the Voice of God 5-day Reading Plan from the You Version Bible reading plan were used for this post.
Cron, I. M. (2016). The road back to you: An Enneagram journey to self-discovery. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press

The Power of God’s Word

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I will never forget the first time I opened my Bible to read for the first time.  I didn’t know where to start or what to read.  I felt overwhelmed and lost.  There were so many words and pages.  How did I even begin?  

Once I opened the Scriptures and started reading, a whole new world was open for me.  At times I put prayer and reading the Bible on the back burner.  I let life get the best of me.  I was distracted by everything the world offered me.  The truth is, I’ve been a Christian my whole life and didn’t truly see the value in opening up the Scriptures and reading them until brokenness entered my life.

Nothing makes a person examine their priorities more than when tragedy enters their life. Click To Tweet

Tragedy makes us listen and pay attention.  My brokenness exposed what was I really filling my life with?  What was the meaning and purpose of my life?

The words on the pages of my Bible took on a whole new meaning in my life once tragedy got my attention.  The Bible verses I read became living and breathing in my life.  Opening the Scriptures is where I really met Jesus.  I began to see all of God’s promises, His heart, and character. I realized His words aren’t meant to stay on the pages of the Bible but be made alive in us.  His words are what transform our hearts, minds, and lives.  

I was always so impressed by people who could memorize and recite scripture like it was second nature.  Somehow along the way, I became one of those people, because God’s words became engraved in my heart.  I became hungry and thirsty for more.

From the beginning of time God’s Word has existed and speaks life into our lives.Click To Tweet

God’s words became light.  

And God said, “Let there be light, and there was light.  God saw that the light was good and he separated the light from the darkness.  God called the light day and the darkness he called night.  And there was evening and there was morning—the first day.”  Genesis 1:3-5

God’s words became life.  

And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures, according to their kinds:  livestock, creatures that move along the ground and wild animals each according to its kind.”  Genesis 1:24

God’s word became flesh.

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”  John 1:14

God’s words heal the broken-hearted.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  Psalm 147:3

God’s words transform hearts and lives.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from  your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”  Ezekiel 36:26

God’s words feed and nourish our souls.  

“I am the living bread that came down out of heaven;  if anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever;  and the bread also which I will give for the life of the world is My flesh.”  John 6:51

God’s words are eternal.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.”  John 1:1-4

God is The Word and The Word is God (John1:1).  God’s word cannot be changed.  They are eternal and everlasting.  His words sustain us and give us life.  God’s word speaks truth and life into our lives and have existed from the beginning of time.  Wherever we are in life we can always meet Jesus right where we are by opening up the Scriptures. 

His Word is perfect.  His Word will guide us.  His Word provides for all of our needs.  

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:10

His Word completes us.  In God, we lack nothing!

How has reading the Bible changed your life?

Do you struggle with making time to read your Bible?

Do God’s Words speak life into your life?

Nothing opens our hearts more than an open Bible.  Staying in God’s word transforms hearts and lives.  Open your Bible and discover God’s truth and love for you!  Join the Bible reading plan and get started!    

It’s all about meeting Jesus right where we are.  In Him, we will have life to the full that is complete and everlasting (John 10:10).  Have a blessed week!

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The Origin of Truth

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Have you ever wondered what makes a word come into existence?  The first American dictionary published by Noah Webster wasn’t published until 1828 and contained around 70,000 definitions of words.  It makes me wonder how the validity of definitions survived all that time.

The way a word gets into the dictionary is by usage.  Citing a word consistently in enough publications over time gives the word credibility.  Once decided the word has been widely used on a consistent basis it is then considered for entry into the dictionary.  Every year over 1700 new words are added to the Webster dictionary.  Today the Webster-Merriam dictionary has close to 500,000 definitions in the unabridged version and 165,000 in the collegiate version.  That is a lot of new words since 1828! [1]

This makes me wonder if new words can emerge and come into existence, then where do their definitions originate?

Are these definitions of words something we make and come up with?

As new definitions emerge and change as each era progresses, The Bible is one book that never changes its definitions.  Of course, we need to add definitions for when new technology emerges.  However, we can always count on the Bible because its origin of truth stays the same and never changes.

Why can we depend and trust that the Bible is a dependable source of truth?

Even though the Bible was written by the pen of imperfect men, these words were not from them but from God.  There is much dispute in whether the meaning of the messages in the Bible has been lost or changed with each new translation that emerges.  However, each chapter of the Bible has been authenticated by author, place, and events that occurred with writings of historians that existed at that time.  The Bible has been around since the time of Moses delivering the 10 commandments (1,400 BC), to the completion of the Hebrew manuscripts which include the 39 books of the Old Testament (500 AD), to the completion of the Greek manuscripts including the 27 books of the New Testament (1st Century AD) to present day.[2]

God’s truth can be trusted because…….

God’s truth has existed from the beginning of creation.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”  Genesis 1:1

God spoke life into existence.

“God created man in His own image;  in the image of God He created him;  male and female He created them.”  Genesis 1:27

God created truth.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God.  All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.”  John 1:1-3

God’s Words breathe life into our lives.

 

God IS the TRUTH.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”  John 14:6

Words make up who we are and say a lot about our identity and world.  If you were to look up the topmost trending words on the Merriam-Webster dictionary website people have looked up in the past week, you would be astonished.  It says a lot of what is going on in our world.  The topmost searched word right now is fascism.  Other words include white supremacist, bigot, bigotry, Neo-Nazi, terrorism, and communism.  These words have to be among the most hateful and evil words that exist and yet are at the forefront of our world.

We may have our differences and not always agree with each other, but can choose what we use our words for.  We were never meant to live in a world full of hate and evil–but in a world full of God’s love.

God desires our world to be filled with His love--not hate and evil. Click To Tweet

In a world of hate and chaos, God’s truth will always bring us freedom.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

Our words have the ability to speak life and truth into the lives of others (Prov. 18:21).  Our words can make a difference in someone’s day by being kind and loving (Eph. 4:32).  Our words can build another’s confidence by encouraging and building them up (1Thes. 5:11).  Our words can change the lives of those who persecute us by praying for them (Matt. 5:44).  Our world will always be filled with evil when we use our words to destroy, slander, gossip or hate.  There is freedom when our words are used to encourage, love, build and pray.

We can’t change the definition to words to fit into the box that we desire them to.  Trusting in emerging definitions can be dangerous over time.  Changing the truth to our own desires is a slippery, dangerous slope to walk.  When we trust in God’s truth and love we will find eternal protection and wholehearted healing.

God’s truth will always keep us straight on our paths.  

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,And lean not on your own understanding;  In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct[a] your paths.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

If you ever have doubts about God’s truth, test it.  Our words can be destroyed in an instant.  God’s words can never be destroyed and will always last till the end of time.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.”  Isaiah 40:8 

Have you ever questioned where your source of truth originated and whether you can trust it?

Have you ever been caught on the slippery slope of finding your truth in emerging definitions?

God’s love and grace are transformational.  We become victorious when God’s Word is alive and active in our lives!

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  1. Info was obtained from Wikipedia.
  2. Bible history info was gathered from this site.  For a more detailed instruction of a historical timeline of how the Bible evolved over time visit http://www.greatsite.com/timeline-english-bible-history/.

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Where Do I Fit In?

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As many of you know this summer our family embarked on a journey of traveling and new beginnings.  We trekked across Alaska, Canada, and many National Parks in our RV, until we arrived in our new home in Colorado.  Every place we move arises a lot of unknowns.  Where will we live?  Where will the kids go to school?  Which school is best for them?  Where will I work?  Who will be our friends?  What church will we attend?  What activities will we be involved in?  And mostly, will I fit in?

With each new move, I question will we have nice neighbors?  Will others be accepting of us?  Will I fit into this new life?  Do I really have to make a new life all over again?  Moving every 3-4 years in the military is just enough time to establish roots, which makes leaving so much harder.  I would never trade the amazing adventures our family has had traveling to our next assignment but would do anything to keep the friends and relationships we had, move with us.

As I get my footing in our new house, our new area we live, I can’t really just knock on someone’s door and ask ‘Will you be my friend?’  These things take time.  Moving really makes me lean and depend on God more for His provision of everything.  This new life reminds me of the parable of the new cloth and old garment.

Matthew 9:16  NKJV “No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment;  for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse.”

Luke 5:36 NKJV “No one puts a piece from a new garment on an old one;  otherwise the new makes a tear, and also the piece that was taken out of the new does not match the old.”

In this parable, Jesus is questioned about His actions regarding fasting.  Jesus is trying to explain the dangers of patching an old garment with a new patch of cloth.  That would be ridiculous to patch a new cloth on an old garment because when a person washes the old garment, the new patch of cloth would shrink and make the tear worse.  Jesus was challenging those questioning Him to understand, we don’t just cover up the old with the new.  He was offering a whole new meaning and message–we become new when our freedom, identity, and truth, comes from God Himself, not from following a bunch of rules.  Jesus was the new message, a fulfillment of God’s law.

Jesus was offering a whole ‘new cloth,’ one that didn’t cover up the old with the new.  In this new life I’m living I can’t try to fit my old life into my new one.  It would tear and not match up.  I can’t travel around with my life in a box and expect everything to match up wherever I go.  I have to be gentle with myself and allow for God’s timing and plan to fall into place, not my own agenda.  I am so thankful for Jesus’ message, I don’t have to try to fit in and be something I’m not.

When my freedom, identity, and truth are in Christ, I will Fit in wherever I go. Click To Tweet

FREEDOM

Galatians 5:1 “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

IDENTITY

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

TRUTH

John 8:32 “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
 
2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.”
Maybe you’re a single mom trying to fit in a married couple world.  Or maybe you’re a part-time working mom trying to fit in the stay-at-home mom world.  Maybe you struggle with temptations or sins and don’t know how to walk away and believe it’s better to keep them hidden to fit in.  Maybe you struggle with an eating disorder trying to fit into the world that says you have to be skinny to be accepted.  Maybe you struggle with addictions and don’t know how to fit in a world filled with pain.  Maybe you have stronghold reigning in your life that doesn’t allow you to fit in at all.
Where do you find your F.I.T?
Do you struggle with where you FIT in?

 

If I waited to find my acceptance and approval in the world, I may never Fit in.  Starting over can be difficult but when my F.I.T is found in Jesus, I will always FIT in wherever I go!  I don’t have to worry or fear the unknown when my F.I.T is in Jesus.  He fulfills my greater purpose, I don’t have to be something I’m not.

God’s love and grace are transformational.  We become victorious when His word is alive and active in our lives!

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A Biblical Trek Through the Great Land of Alaska

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Moving to this great state only a couple of years ago, I can’t help to take in all of it’s greatness, it’s beauty, and magnificence. As a newcomer to this state, my fresh eyes see things that capture my attention and can’t help to notice as I venture through this great land, all the biblical references.

Alaska itself lives up to it’s name meaning, ‘the great land.‘ I can’t help to think how this great land relates to Moses and the Israelite’s wandering in the desert for 40 years, for God to lead them to ‘the promised land.’

As the looming physical darkness of our winter season approaches, there has also been a presence of spiritual darkness lurking in our great land. Every day there seems to be news of another shooting and murder. It seems that evil has taken up camp and resided here.

No matter how dark the darkness, it can never extinguish the light of Jesus. In fact, the darker it gets, the brighter his light shines. Evil can never change what God has already done. Our God is bigger and cannot be defeated.

It is true that evil is present in our state. But truth is, evil can never take away God’s presence. He is very much here with us every moment of every day. He has left us reminders in this state how one day we too will be taken to the promised land.

God’s goodness is here, present, alive within us and in this great state. Let’s imagine for a moment we are the Israelites wandering around Alaska instead of the desert.

A Biblical Trek Through the Great Land of Alaska-

It all started in the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth. I think God had fun when he created Alaska. He put so much thought and detail into creating this amazing land. There are over 3 million lakes, over half of the world’s active glaciers and has 17 of 20 highest peaks in the U.S. Alaska has over 43 of the 53 active volcanoes in the U.S. It is home to the Northern Lights, and viewing of some of the most amazing constellations and stars. Alaska has over 35 species of mosquitoes, home to some of the most amazing wildlife and has some of the most stellar fishing for halibut and salmon.

This winter, look up and you will see the star lit on top of the 4,000 foot Mount Gordon. For 55 years the tradition of lighting the star every winter season, illuminates the night during our long season of darkness. I can’t help to think about the three wise men following the star to Bethlehem in hopes to see baby Jesus.

Head south towards the Kenai Peninsula and you will enter into the town of Hope. It is a town nestled amongst the mountains and at the mouth of the Turnagain arm. What a treasure to discover Hope among the mountains and deep waters.

Travel even further south and we come upon the Resurrection Bay in Seward. What a wonderful reminder of God’s plan for us. That we are not defeated by our circumstances but resurrected in Christ because of what he did for us.

Let’s travel north to the town of Bethel. Bethel means ‘house of God.’ In biblical times, this is where people went to seek counsel. It is where Jacob had his dream of a ladder to heaven and angels ascending from heaven.

It was God’s message to Jacob that, “Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.” (Genesis 29:15 NKJV). Jacob then wakes up and says “surely the LORD is in this place and I did not know it.” He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than that house of God, and this is the gate of heaven!” (Genesis 29:16-17 NKJV).

Lastly, there is an anchor in Anchorage. Chances are if you are reading this post, you are a woman in the word; a woman who prays. Prayer is what is what will anchor us through this darkness and bring the darkness to light. Together we can shine the light of Jesus brighter than any light, by staying devoted in prayer and allowing God’s light to shine through us.

“This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” Hebrews 6:19 NLT

Despite the present spiritual realms of darkness, stay focused on God’s presence, in His greatness and goodness. Don’t let the enemy fool you in putting your hope in what you see. God is at work in a bigger way than we can ever imagine.

There is an eternal hope in Alaska one that can never be extinguished by any darkness. This winter season, don’t focus on the darkness, but on how bright the stars shine, God’s purpose, intent and creation.

Am I missing anything? What other wonders in this great land of Alaska has God has showed you?

Did you enjoy this blogpost? Please share with others! Want more encouraging messages sent right to your inbox? Subscribe to my blog and receive a weekly Monday Message or like my Author Facebook page to catch the latest posts.  Have a blessed week!

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This post was first published on www.akchristianwomensministry.com.

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